Close friend ended friendship due to 'difference in morals'

[Unpopularopinion1]

Name changed. I'm really hurt by what's happened, and I'm struggling with being told my opinions, which I've never thought are anything too uncommon, are that 'disgusting' (her words) that she cannot continue the friendship. We had a disagreement about a certain subject, which led to her blocking me. A few days later she unblocked me and attacked me with all these messages about different topics, asking me outright what I think as some sort of test, before concluding my answers weren't good enough for her high standards.

AIBU for thinking two close friends, of decades, should be able to have different opinions without cutting ties? I'm not sure I have any choice but to let it go. I'm just angry.

YANBU.

Shaming you for not posting stuff about BLM on SM? Is this a police state? Are our thoughts unacceptable unless we prove how "progressive" we are on SM by repeating the accepted thoughts? I don't want to live in that world. I post about gardening. OMG I have sinned!

And btw, JKR is right, biology is real. No hate.

You are not a bad person to think your own thoughts.

She sounds really thick and insufferable. I would just go along with it and leave her out of your life.

The TWAW thing is a very hot potato. I happen not to agree with her on that but its borderline and I can see that its an emotive issue.

On everything else she sounds like an utter arsehole, tbh, and I think you're well shot of her.

Arguing that if you haven't posted a specific status update around BLM you must be a racist is zealotry of the worst kind, unless there's a back story.

And using "Tory" to close down discussion is the worst kind of bullying.

I think she's a bigot and a bully and you should be grateful not to have her in your life.

The only people I have ever seen using the word ‘menstruator’ are people expressing anti-trans sentiments. Those who are trying to find trans-inclusive language to talk about menstruation say ‘people who menstruate’, which is person-centred and quite different.

It’s a deliberate choice for anti-trans groups to say ‘menstruators’ - they want to make trans-inclusive language appear to be dehumanising. But, as ever, the reality is much more nuanced than the propaganda.

I would find it hard to stay friends with a homophobic virtue signalling bigot. She sounds awful and incapable of critical thought. You’ve had a lucky escape!

I don't think trans women aren't women. Is this a common phrase?

It's a shorthand for Trans Women Are Women. Not everyone uses this acronym although the phrase is chanted like a mantra. There's no reason for you to know it if you are not already mired in this debate, despite what pp said.

She sounds like a bigoted twat, you’re well rid!

Oh she’s one of people. Absolutely revelling in trendy oppressed groups because it makes her feel so fucking woke and morally superior. Yawn.

Honestly she’s done you a favour. Walk away from this “friendship” and don’t look back.

oh well. sometimes friendships end. That's life.

The term for it is "slacktivism"

This is PERFECTION

I read your message about what she said and quiet frankly I think I am sorry but she did you a favour - she sounds like hard work

TBH, I wouldn't want to be friends with her.

I have defriended people for racism, and antisemitism posts before and I've never felt any need to blow my own trumpet by vaguebooking about it in a status or publishing screenshots of posts afterwards.

If I did, I'd 100% expect everyone to defriend me for being a tiresome drama llama using important social issues to seek attention.

The only people I have ever seen using the word ‘menstruator’ are people expressing anti-trans sentiments. Those who are trying to find trans-inclusive language to talk about menstruation say ‘people who menstruate’, which is person-centred and quite different.

Not to derail but this is nonsense. Some also use menstruator for women of unknown menstrual status, proving that it is just a dehumanising term for women and not "inclusive" at all.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6614821/amp/Womens-March-refers-female-MPs-menstruators-Twitter.html

She's a loon, you're better off without this 'friend'

Your friend is a tit. Screenshotting your texts and then tweeting them for clout is especially obnoxious, and I say this as someone who hates the Tories.

You're better off without this sanctimonious fool in your life. I can already guess that she's straight (or "bisexual" but mysteriously only has relationships with men and has no problem calling lesbians TERFs for refusing transwomen), white (but is only friends with other white people and would rather tweet about Black Lives Matter than donate a penny of her own money) and financially comfortable (but tweets about how hard austerity has hit Britain and how awful conditions are for Amazon workers, even as she believes customer service workers are "low skilled" and don't deserve to earn more than minimum wage). It's all performative concern.

Your friend needs to grow up and get some life experience

Just block her/remove her from everything.
Unfortunately, a pp is right, no difference of opinion allowed now, agree or be vilified across social media.
Seriously, just stick to posting furry kittens, it's not worth it.
People who know you will know what you are really like, she's trying to be something she isn't too by the sounds of things, and spoiling for an argument.

She sounds absolutely bloody bonkers. Couldn't be doing with a 'friend' like that. To be shouted down like that for having your own opinions and then ridiculed on SM. Like others have said, you are better off without her. Has she got form for this type of behaviour OP ? Seems strange that you were friends for so long before ?

Friend sounds a bit bonkers. Is lockdown treating her particularly badly or has she always been a bit gobshitery?

Your friend is a bit of a nutty bitch I’m afraid. I have absolutely no expectations of my white friends to make statements regarding BLM. If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the past few weeks, it’s that BLM and JK have shown that people really lack the ability to listen to a reasoned argument.

Thanks OP for your post I was actually feeling really anxious and upset about the woman that stopped coming to our group because of my "transphobia" bit the replies to your post have actually made me feel a lot better especially as she did the whole post in various social media how she was leaving the group and even when I engaged with her and said it's fine to have a different opinion it's a shame you want to leave and wished her well. She just said I was a bigot and she'd hope to re-educate us all.
Now I'm realising she's trying to do exactly the same including the public shaming....you aren't based in the south are you could it be the same woman?

Wow. She sounds pretty batshit
I think you’re better off not being round someone who flys off the handle like that without hearing you properly at all!

She sounds awful.

Even if you had abhorrent views (which I don’t think you do - I don’t believe you are wrong about JK Rowling etc) screenshooting what you wrote in a text and posting it publicly is really wrong.

I also HATE the BLM social media bandwagon thing. I do believe BLM and I’m thinking about it and reading and discussing it with DH sometimes in the evening. I certainly didn’t post on my social media about it because I have nothing useful to contribute to the debate and I don’t want to just virtue signal. I have eye-rolled so hard at friends who posted black screens for #blackout Tuesday or Thursday or whenever it was.. those posts being the only thing they did on the issue (nothing!!!) but getting them lots of lovely comments.

Block or unfriend her, whatever...so that you are not seeing the upsetting posts. Maybe there is something more going on with her around these topics. But it is no excuse to cut you out just like that. Everyone doesn't have to have a 'platform' or use their voice, do the virtue signalling etc. You know your true heart, that you are not transphobic or a racist. It is a shame that the public signalling & profile matters more to your 'friend' than the real you. And now it seems that she is a bully too. It is sad for you OP....maybe she'll come back down the road & make amends...but for now at least, let her go & keep the moral high ground.

She's fallen foul of purity spiral logic. She's got on the virtue signalling band wagon and left her brain at home.

One day she'll realise she's been totally unreasonable.

You know, you've only lost someone you thought was a friend. You don't have much in common, she's a knee jerk person, you're a deep thinker. She's prepared to lash out at people who don't fall into line, you are not.

Be glad you know the truth now.