Close friend ended friendship due to 'difference in morals'

[Unpopularopinion1]

Name changed. I'm really hurt by what's happened, and I'm struggling with being told my opinions, which I've never thought are anything too uncommon, are that 'disgusting' (her words) that she cannot continue the friendship. We had a disagreement about a certain subject, which led to her blocking me. A few days later she unblocked me and attacked me with all these messages about different topics, asking me outright what I think as some sort of test, before concluding my answers weren't good enough for her high standards.

AIBU for thinking two close friends, of decades, should be able to have different opinions without cutting ties? I'm not sure I have any choice but to let it go. I'm just angry.

She just wants attention by getting on her high horse. I know loads of people who jump on any bandwagon but she’s using you to give her outraged leverage . You’re better off without her .There’s no reason why you should post your views on social media. I find most people that are the most “woke” don’t actually do anything about the causes they apparently feel passionately about . Bloody armchair politicians.

I have many friends and family with differing opinions. I would judge anyone who couldn’t handle that.

PP said it's public shaming-- exactly. WTAF. Do we live in a country with freedom of speech and thought, or not?

This is less about you, probably, and more about her using you to signal her virtue. She shows her followers how amazingly progressive she is by calling you out. And what have you done? Not posted BLM stuff. Thought JKR's tweets were not unreasonable. Admitted not knowing an acronym. Well.

Lots of people are exactly where you are, OP. I do not post about BLM, or anything political and I think JKR was spot on. You are not alone, and you are not disadvantaged by losing that "friend".

And I guess I have to cut my losses with my friend. Even after how vicious she's been I'm still sad. I guess it was inevitable in the long run, though.

And that’s no accident. Men have managed to create a hostile and threatening environment where they have persuaded women that it’s their job to put men at the centre of feminism!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

Social media is a cancer.

I am sorry that you have been treated like this by your friend. It is good to know that you have your own opinions and be prepared to discuss them.

I have been seeing this and it really is applicable to today’s social media interactions. Maybe it will help somewhat.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHLd8de6nM

They are the new puritans and they are so fucking boring.

What do they actually do to help make peoples lives better? Tweet, harass people online? Shame and cancel, police other peoples words and actions...

Eejits..

I don't suppose she's hitting the menopause, is she?

I had a big falling out with a friend who became menopausal and seemed, for a while, to lose her marbles. I'm not sure if the two things were connected or maybe menopause set off a resurgence of a MH problem she'd had, or whether it was a 'time of life and I've missed out on all the things I really wanted' thing. But I am still none the wiser as to what it was I was supposed to have done that ended a friendship of over two decades...

She sounds really thick and insufferable

This. Absolutely this. Smart, thinking people who are confident in their opinions relish a good debate. They will understand the bases of their own arguments and will respect those who disagree with them on the same basis. She’s no friend and she’s no thinker.

Well, she’s raving isn’t she ? Your friend represents everything that makes me weary with this world. The intolerance is actually scary. People who purport to stand for freedom of speech and equality for all, but only so long as you agree with them. It’s sad, but just walk away, these rabid snowflakes can’t be reasoned with.

I really hate these accusations being bandied about because you don’t agree with certain points. The idea that you can’t even debate a subject now is ridiculous. She can’t be very intellectually rigorous if she can’t debate an issue without resorting to bullying or insults. I used to identify as “ liberal” but it seems you have to sign up for a package of ideologies or you’re not allowed in the club.... a bit like Sky TV bundles. Well fuck off I say... I will pick my own side on every issue and although I find it weird to find myself aligning with the readers of the Daily Mail I have to be honest about what I believe. OP - my views are pretty similar to yours with regards the trans issues and the Labour Party. I’ve never voted Tory but a ton of people did... it is a legitimate political party and we live in a democracy. I also didn’t post anything on social media about BLM because it seemed very fashionable and my feeling was most people I knew doing it were probably not thinking very deeply about the issues.

Not read all the thread but....

Did your progressive friend condemn Justine Trudeau for his history of black face? Any progressive leanings I had went out the window when all the liberals were falling over themselves to excuse him. These are the same liberal commentators currently supporting BLM with no critical thinking whatsoever. I bet she kept shtum, which just shows her up as a liberal lemming jumping on the latest bandwagon.

You're better off out of it.

Let her have her tantrum and stand well clear. One day she will grow up and realise what a massive bellend she used to be.

I’d tell her she owes you an apology for her behaviour, that you are happy to agree to disagree and never discuss it, but that you make no apology for being a feminist.

If she would rather put men’s feelings above women’s rights that’s her lookout. You accept her view even though you disagree. She could do the same.

Then it’s her call.

But the question about women undressing in safe spaces cuts to the chase. If she’s willing to say no to that she’s a dick.

Your mate is caught in a purity spiral.

They are going off all over the place at the moment.

Wow. She sounds like a mentalist to me. Your well rid.

I would just block her tbh. If she she can’t respect that you are entitled to your own opinion she is not worth worrying about .

She sounds awful and you are well rid. Also sounds like she has not forgiven you for not voting Labour and keeps picking at the scab. I have family members like this.

Your opinions are as valid as anyone else. She is being ridiculous

I think she sounds judgemental. The transphobia thing is complex (fwiw I have some sympathy with Rowling on this) bit . But expecting you to perform your views on social media is silly and blocking you (rather than seeing less of you over time) is spiteful and teenagerish. I think you're likely better off. But it's still hurtful to be "dumped" so I hope you feel better soon

YANBU. She is a self-righteous bully and probably not very bright. You will be better off without her.

She sounds bonkers!
I wonder if the lockdown had triggered a mental health problem. If she unblocks you again, I wouldn’t re engage with her for now. Also avoid IRL. It’s sad, but she sounds like very hard work at the moment. Sounds like she needs help.

@Zaphodsotherhead I had something similar! A menopausal friend just flipped. Angry all the time, snarky at work, everyone walking on eggshells. My worst crime was suggesting she "might be menopausal?" It took a few years for her to get through it but she did. Lost her job because she was horrific to her staff though.

She's a bully, plain and simple. Shoving her own opinions down your throat and making some kind of an example of you to her echo chamber of Twitter followers. I'd send her a tweet saying you're relieved not to have to be her friend anymore, a big weight lifted and that she is anti-women. What an ignorant tool, I hope she doesn't have daughters who ever wish to compete in Prof sports.