Close friend ended friendship due to 'difference in morals'

[Unpopularopinion1]

Name changed. I'm really hurt by what's happened, and I'm struggling with being told my opinions, which I've never thought are anything too uncommon, are that 'disgusting' (her words) that she cannot continue the friendship. We had a disagreement about a certain subject, which led to her blocking me. A few days later she unblocked me and attacked me with all these messages about different topics, asking me outright what I think as some sort of test, before concluding my answers weren't good enough for her high standards.

AIBU for thinking two close friends, of decades, should be able to have different opinions without cutting ties? I'm not sure I have any choice but to let it go. I'm just angry.

Yes I cut off a friend because she believes there is nothing wrong with sleeping with married men or going after my husband 🤷‍♀️

@Binterested

Cis gets used by arseholes to explain that trans woman are just another kind of women like BAME women. It’s a way of using black women as a weird subtype of women and Cis women as a weird subtype of women whereas Trans women are and always have been women.

All women are women. No trans women are women. I don’t even like to use TW as it hides the truth but those are the rules on here.

And they’re now hitching their wagon to the BLM movement. No one is ever permitted to be more vulnerable than the most vulnerable, don’t ya know? Women, disabled, rape victims, murdered women, victims of racism, you name it, none of those groups are ever permitted to speak, without centring male bodied people who identify as trans.

Sorry just to give my thoughts on the OP and and actual argument. I do think that there seems to be an aggressive policy of shouting down or making accusations of those who don't follow a certain line.
That said I agree there are some that cross a moral line that I wouldn't want to be associated with.

I think that the origins of the word [cis] were made in good faith, to describe people who don't experience gender dysphoria

Even if the origins of the word "cis" were made in good faith, which is doubtful, it does not change the fact that many women find it offensive and would not identify themselves as such.

In your post you talked about the fact that many "cis" women don't like to be reduced to their biological functions (which I think is true) and that we should respect this by using "cis women" instead of "people who menstruate"

Thing is, if you are wanting to be respectful why would you use a word that you know many women find offensive? Why wouldn't you just use the word woman instead?

Your friend is an oversensitive nutter. I am seeing this more and more. On Facebook...".unfriend me if you believe xyz". So people cannot handle debate or difference of opinion. I have friends with very different politics to me. We just dont talk about them.

I see no reason not to make the language more inclusive, but in a way that respects this - just name everyone, ie cis women, trans men and non-binary people.

And yet you suggest using 'cis women'? Why not just 'women and girls' without any reference to being 'not transgender'?

I would have thought that somebody who doesn't understand what a 'cis' women is or what menstruation is would find any communication targeting them using this language as irrelevant. My pre-teen had no idea what a 'cis' anything was or that periods were menstruating. Most of my friends have no idea what 'cis' means and some of them have English as a second language. When I was breast feeding, I would not pick up any information that had 'chest feeding' on it as it would certainly not have registered that it was aimed at me, a breastfeeding mother. Inclusive? No.

I don’t even like to use TW as it hides the truth but those are the rules on here.

You can say MTF or male to female trans people/person, an official term, which isn't ideal but I am more comfortable with than TW.

I'm not a "cis woman" so that wouldn't include me. Do better.

A truly brilliant essay yesterday, @TalkingtoLangClegintheDark. I've saved and filed it for future reference. Thank you so much.

I agree you seem to have dodged a bullet with this ‘friend’ OP, hurtful though it is - especially to have such random accusations hurled at you. Two things really (regardless of the issue): it sounds like a histrionic show put on for social media; she sounds like a ‘high conflict personality’ in short: would pick a fight in a locked room on her own. I let go with someone like this and it’s very peaceful!

I think that the origins of the word [cis] were made in good faith, to describe people who don't experience gender dysphoria

I doubt it. We don’t foist onto people who don’t have measles or arthritis a special word. Why is it only Gender Dysphoria that requires a special word for those who don’t have it? And why aren’t men having to check their cis privilege? This is entirely and completely about colonising womanhood.

Might as well call us kaffirs or darkies. It comes from the same place.

Does that make me a white, disease free, cis-hetero, able-bodied, mentally sound, non-fat woman?

So many adjectives to describe me as average (or privileged, some might say). But I'm guessing I'd be othering fat, disabled, trans-lesbians of different ethnicities suffering from any kind of physical disease.

The only thing about me that leaves me open to unfair treatment is the fact that I am female. All the adjectives are moot. So no, cis can get to fuck.

Also, a black person gets to object to the N word, Indian/Asian people get to object to the P word. Why can't women object to cis, exactly?

Why can’t women object to cis, exactly?

Because apparently we should be welcoming our erasure.

@Needtolovemyself

Why can’t women object to cis, exactly?

Because apparently we should be welcoming our erasure.

Oh they can, and they do.

You are not the only one that has experienced things like this recently. Would you have ended your friendship with her because her beliefs don't align in totality with yours? I am going to hazard a guess that you wouldn't. Something has happened over the last two decades where "liberal thinking" exists in name only. Think critically on all issues and trust yourself; capitulating when you don't agree with something will get you nowhere, and you'll only end up feeling bad about yourself. What she has done isn't about justice, fairness, or higher thinking. If she wants to pretend it is, then let her.

Serenitynow
Obviously we can and should. I’m quoting the welcome to your erasure line from TRA’s.

Im sorry your going through this Op sounds like you will have a much more peacefull
Life without her. I dont have twitter so can i ask what all this jk rowlings thing is.

Surely you have google Mo81?

Or the feminism board on MN, you'll definitely have access to that.

Ill have a look thank you.