To ask for honest opinions on breast vs formula feeding?

[Sizedoesmatter]

I am due my second baby in 3 weeks, I attempted to breastfeed my first but only lasted 2 weeks due to a mixture of things such as lack of support, stress, baby having tongue tie and really just not knowing what I was doing.

I am really torn on wether to try again this time, ds is only 19 months and I'm afraid he's going to get extremely jealous of the baby being attached to me 24/7 and it might ruin my bond with him. At the same time though I feel like if I don't atleast try I'll regret it as we don't plan on having any more children and I know it's the best thing for the baby.

So I'd like some opinions from other mothers who either breast fed or bottle fed. Why did you choose to feed your baby the way you did and if you could go back would you have done it differently? Have you got any advice that might help me and do you think that breast feeding is worth it?

I absolutely believe fed is best. I bf both mind but switched to formula with my first at 5 months and he was a much happily baby afterwards . With my second I bf for a year but it was hard . It was also wonderful but I did have to really push through the tough times. I did bond with my second easier. I found bf a lot more convinient and that’s the main reason I stuck with it.

Fed is best.

I bf. My dm was a hv for 30 yrs so I didnt dare try anything else! If you can make it work then its great, so easy. It did really hurt for the first 5 seconds of every feed for 3 months with my first. My 2nd never hurt.

I wanted to combi feed but found breastfeeding straightforward and ds1 was a bottle refuser so he ended up ebf. The worst bit was having to do every single feed (he fed a lot) but I never found it painful or difficult. Breastfeeding ds2 has been a dream. He hardly cluster fed, his feeds are sooo short and honestly it's been a revelation! So convenient and easy. Again, I intended to combi feed but there's been absolutely no need as he has always gone decent stretches between feeds and sleeps well so I've not needed a break.

Breastfeeding is good if you aren't naturally organised... I would have had many disasters with a formula fed child, bad enough going out without nappies...

It’s worth a try isn’t it. I bf my first and found it hard for the first few weeks but then the ease and convenience was amazing. Never having to worry about bottles, temperature, formula, getting out of bed in the night...I had everything the baby needed, on tap exactly when he needed it. I found it such a lovely bonding experience as well. Even if there were no evidence about the benefits of breast milk I’d do it for the pure convenience factor. You can always pump and/or give the odd bottle of formula to have a break/get others involved (though tbh your baby only wants to be fed by you).

I’m pregnant again and won’t be letting my toddler dictate the way the new baby will be fed. I imagine it will actually be less disruptive to bf as won’t have to leave the room to sort bottles etc. A bf baby is fairly unobtrusive.

But if you give it a go and don’t like it then it’s fine! You’ll never though if you don’t try.

I breastfed both of mine but with the first it was not easy and took me at least 2 weeks to get the hang of it. Just because breast feeding is supposed to be natural doesn't mean it happens naturally. Like any skill you have to learn how to do it.
My advice would be if you want to breast feed try it but keep an open mind and don't put pressure on yourself.
The most important thing is you and your baby are happy.

I couldn't think of anything worse than breastfeeding so formula from day 1

Fed is best is a very cultural opinion. There are other countries in Europe with much much higher breastfeeding rates. I mean, breastfeeding has so many benefits both for the baby and the mother. If you have a toddler or an older child in daycare/school, your baby is going to be protected from viruses. For example, if you had a Flu shot, your baby is protected for 6 months, and lots of other antibodies.
From personal experience, breastfeeding was so easy for me. I would have hated the bottle-business and sterilising and the plastic. I realise it doesn't come easy for everybody but I have nobody in my inner circle of friends who didn't breastfeed or found it really difficult. As a PP said, it's a miracle paci really, whenever the baby is tired or hurt or what not - boob in the mouth and all is well again.
Having said all that, of course if you're struggling physically (or mentally) to breastfeed then what an amazing thing formula is but deciding first to formula feed?!? That is very odd in my opinion and driven by some cultural, societal reasons? Lack of understanding? Spousal pressure? Not sure...

If you do decide to ff, get a Perfect Prep. I wish they had been around when I had my DC’s. My friends with new babies rave about how easy they have made feeding.

I don't understand the 'fed is best' thing, which seems to be parroted unquestioningly. Surely that is the absolute minimum? Yes, formula milk is fine, but breastfeeding gives your baby immune support as well as nutrition.

I think there's a chart in my head, and formula starts out easier but never changes. It's the same easy/hard from the start. Breast feeding for me was so tough at the start, I stuck with it. But then one day it was magically easy. And the line on my curve plummeted, and it became so much easier than formula. Problem is you don't know what morning you'll wake up to find it easy.

Never even considered breast feeding, FF all 3 of mine.

I kind of got trapped breastfeeding as baby wouldn't take a bottle and this made life incredibly difficult and tiring. That's what I would do differently second time around - introduce one sooner. I think if you're not sure it's best to keep both options open and I think knowing they can take a bottle if needed (whether it's BM or formula in it) would be good for you so you know you have choices. I'd still try and BF especially in the early days if I were you but if it's not for you then no worries.

If you do decide to ff, get a Perfect Prep

Second this. They look amazing.

I combi/mix fed which seems to be rarely encouraged or even mentioned , to me that seems the 'easiest' way, your DH/DP can be invoked, you don't have to be available 24/7 - I breast fed because it was free and the constant making up bottles is a faff (I just used those ready made cartons, at room temperature) ... personally I didn't "love" breastfeeding or get all evangelical about it ...

The only opinion that matters is yours. It's not something to decide with the advice of others.

I BF my 11.5m old, but I didn't for 10 days at the start it was a struggle, I pumped and gave formula and then all of a sudden it worked, I stopped pumping and stopped formula. I'm very proud of myself but I do not care at all how anyone else feeds their baby.

I bottle fed both mine from birth and am still very happy with the decision we made.
Second the advice to get a Perfect Prep.

Bottle fed by choice from day 1. Perfectly happy with that choice. 3 year old is happy, healthy and we have a very strong bond. It helped my mental health being able to do 50/50 with her dad in those first years. The positives outweighed any potential negatives for us.

@Sizedoesmatter

I am due my second baby in 3 weeks, I attempted to breastfeed my first but only lasted 2 weeks due to a mixture of things such as lack of support, stress, baby having tongue tie and really just not knowing what I was doing.

I am really torn on wether to try again this time, ds is only 19 months and I'm afraid he's going to get extremely jealous of the baby being attached to me 24/7 and it might ruin my bond with him. At the same time though I feel like if I don't atleast try I'll regret it as we don't plan on having any more children and I know it's the best thing for the baby.

So I'd like some opinions from other mothers who either breast fed or bottle fed. Why did you choose to feed your baby the way you did and if you could go back would you have done it differently? Have you got any advice that might help me and do you think that breast feeding is worth it?

From what you have said you should try breast feeding, you don't want to regret not doing it. Your older child can be involved still, you can sit and read books together whilst feeding the baby.

I bottle fed both my children. I did so by choice, not lock for information/education, not because I was under pressure by anyone. It was at the time where there was first much pressure from health professionals to do so. I didn't feel guilty then, and never felt judged.

They are both adults now. I have no regrets and would do the same again.

Whatever you end up going with, stand up by your choice. You don't owe anyone to explain your decision one way or the other.

I found there was much less pressure second time round. First time was hideous. Breastfeeding hurt a lot, my baby was losing weight and the drs asked to supplement with formula from day 3. What was interesting is that it was obvious something wasn’t working but I felt too guilty/pressured by the midwives to stop even though the baby wasn’t thriving and I was miserable. I tried expressing but supply ran down by a month but I was on a regime of try breast feeding, express then formula which was knackering and meant that I was either attempting (but failing) to feed or attached to the pump.

2nd time round I tried it in the hospital but brought formula knowing I found it hard. There wasn’t any pressure from the staff but equally I guess they didn’t offer much support (I don’t think I saw anyone on the postnatal ward). I went straight for formula with expressing top-ups. I got on much better with expressing but again my supply started to diminish after a month. However, I felt better knowing she’d had a reasonable amount of breast milk in the early days.

Try and breastfeed your baby as it is the best nutrition for it.
If this is very difficult then try and BF and give formula.
If that doesn't work, give formula.

At the very least give BF a good go.

It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. I bottle fed all 3 of mine because I dydnt want to breastfeed. Didn't regret it then, still don't. Why would I?

have to say that I find it difficult to understand people who don’t even try to breastfeed unless there’s a medical reason (including mental health).

Well let me help, I dydnt want to do it, what's difficult to understand about that?

Why would you find it difficult to understand someone making a different decision than you? Your decision is necessarily better than someone else’s.