To ask for honest opinions on breast vs formula feeding?

[Sizedoesmatter]

I am due my second baby in 3 weeks, I attempted to breastfeed my first but only lasted 2 weeks due to a mixture of things such as lack of support, stress, baby having tongue tie and really just not knowing what I was doing.

I am really torn on wether to try again this time, ds is only 19 months and I'm afraid he's going to get extremely jealous of the baby being attached to me 24/7 and it might ruin my bond with him. At the same time though I feel like if I don't atleast try I'll regret it as we don't plan on having any more children and I know it's the best thing for the baby.

So I'd like some opinions from other mothers who either breast fed or bottle fed. Why did you choose to feed your baby the way you did and if you could go back would you have done it differently? Have you got any advice that might help me and do you think that breast feeding is worth it?

I think I explained quite clearly why it might upset someone in a situation such as hers. I didn't say it was offensive. It was thoughtless. There are many more reasons to have a baby than to enjoy the newborn period.

Your own experience of such issues doesn't make you an expert in anyone else's, either. I am really sorry to hear you went through such a bad time, it

I meant children in general. You have them to enjoy them, not turn them into bionic beings at the pinnacle of human health (within reason).

If anything I think my comment was constructive to new mums' mental health. Let go of all the guilt crap and do what you need to do to enjoy your baby.

Sorry but I think you're deliberately taking what I said in the worst possible way.

I’m always baffled by people (largely women I have to say) who are so INVESTED in what other women do and don’t do with their breasts. It’s so odd. They make out they are all about promoting babies’ welfare but if that was the case surely they would be campaigning about child poverty, hunger etc. or any of the many other issues that make hugely more difference to children than how they’re fed for the first few months. Really makes their motives look suspect.

I couldn’t agree more.

DC1- tried to BF but admitted to hospital on day 3 with severe jaundice and was told she HAD to have 30ml every 3 hours or would become v unwell/die. Panicked new mum I formula fed so I could SEE how much we were having and we never got off the ground bf despite trying when she was better.

DC2- EBF for 12 weeks, sudden lockdown onset of PND, stress and no support milk dried up and within 2 weeks was back to ff. V sad and disappointment but proud I did the weeks I did and better than with DC1.

Having done both I personally think FF is easier in the day and out and about if you’re fairly organised but BF is much easier at night. Remember when you choose to BF you don’t have to choose to do it exclusively or extended or whatever. Try it- doesn’t work no problem formula is fab. 3 months down the line- not working out mix feed or switch. 2 years later and all going well- go you!

Read cribsheet for a reassuring evidence based assessment on the real benefits of BF if you wasn’t reassurance that formula really isn’t that bad.

With both my babies I said I’d try to breastfeed for first month then see. First baby took few days to establish, second baby literally wriggled up and clamped on himself when born. He was 10 pound 8 though so pretty strong / sturdy. I ended up feeding both for 18 months but that wasn’t my plan. I had bought formula and bottles but never ended up using them. Lots of friends have asked for my advise but ultimately I breasted because it was easy. If it was hard I wouldn’t have done it. Also my first was allergic to milk and eggs so don’t worry about it from that point of view as breastfed doesn’t guarantee no allergies.

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but you get extra benefits to breastfeeding if you carry on to toddlerhood.
I always knew I would BF but assumed I would do it for 6 months because that’s what I thought you were supposed to do (didn’t know any other mothers!)
Got to 6 months and carried on as it was going so well - got to a year and the same story. Ended up stopping the month before his 2nd birthday because I had developed thrush and he wouldn’t come back to the breast.
Man did it soothe a lot of tantrums though. Also, gave me a chance to sit down with a coffee

I’m always baffled by people (largely women I have to say) who are so INVESTED in what other women do and don’t do with their breasts. It’s so odd. They make out they are all about promoting babies’ welfare but if that was the case surely they would be campaigning about child poverty, hunger etc. or any of the many other issues that make hugely more difference to children than how they’re fed for the first few months. Really makes their motives look suspect.

This. Drives me bonkers! My mum facetimes with me and every time asks me if I'm still breastfeeding, like she's waiting for me to crack and start killing my baby with formula.

@Rainycloudyday

I went back to work when mine were 3 months old whilst continuing to breast feed. Never been one much for socialising other than at home with friends so when I did generally baby came too or friends came to us. The babies both thrived on it.

[quote Elphame]@Rainycloudyday

I went back to work when mine were 3 months old whilst continuing to breast feed. Never been one much for socialising other than at home with friends so when I did generally baby came too or friends came to us. The babies both thrived on it.[/quote]
That’s great. Of course things can work for some people but I think it’s reasonable to suggest that for many people returning to work while still breastfeeding several times a day would have its challenges.

Most people don’t go back at 3 months though.

Most go back after 6, some much later, when solids have been established and milk is much less important. I went back at 8/9 months, maintaining feeding morning/evening was no problem. I didn’t pump at work, I didn’t need to.

Around the 11 months mark I started having to take overnight work trips for a few nights at a time. A pump meant I could keep my supply up.

At that point in the bfing journey, supply is much more accommodating and adaptable.

Laurie that was my experience too

formula really isn’t that bad.

🙄 It isn’t ‘bad’ at all.

@beautifulcrazy when I point out you cant tell who was FF and who was BF, I get shouted at, so watch out...