To ask for honest opinions on breast vs formula feeding?

[Sizedoesmatter]

I am due my second baby in 3 weeks, I attempted to breastfeed my first but only lasted 2 weeks due to a mixture of things such as lack of support, stress, baby having tongue tie and really just not knowing what I was doing.

I am really torn on wether to try again this time, ds is only 19 months and I'm afraid he's going to get extremely jealous of the baby being attached to me 24/7 and it might ruin my bond with him. At the same time though I feel like if I don't atleast try I'll regret it as we don't plan on having any more children and I know it's the best thing for the baby.

So I'd like some opinions from other mothers who either breast fed or bottle fed. Why did you choose to feed your baby the way you did and if you could go back would you have done it differently? Have you got any advice that might help me and do you think that breast feeding is worth it?

If you want to breastfeed then keep asking the midwives and health visitors for support, to check the latch etc There are also bf consultants around, there may be a local support group to you. I found once it was established then life got much easier,so probably two to three weeks. It's unlikely to affect your relationship with ds and more than bottle feeding would, you can just relax and watch cartoons with him next to you and feed baby.

There is nothing wrong with bottle feeding, obviously breastmilk is best for babies, but there is nothing wrong with choosing not to, lots of women dont breastfeed.

Do what works for you and your family.

I BF DD1 for 4 months before moving onto formula. It was a huge struggle, she had silent reflux and was very, very unsettled. I moved onto formula.

With DD2 I EBF her for 6 months and she continued to BF until she was 15 months. I was lucky. It worked for us. I never had to bother with sterilising, milk was always on tap and that meant leaving the house was a breeze which was good as DD1 was at school by the time DD2 came along.

So, I'd try BF, but if for whatever reason you end up formula feeding, all good. Baby is fed.

All of mine where bottle fed. They all grew up fit and healthy.

Ive been bf since 2016, no issues latching. But I was tired with the cluster feeding but I co slept until I could night wean. Gave both 1 bottle a week until 5 months then 2. Got 2 kids similar age gap. Try it and see, eat a load of food have a glass of wine. Do you know anyone who bf? It's hard when we have some unrealistic views on baby behaviour. X

I should add, DD2 had tongue tie, took about 6 weeks before we had BF established. But was absolutely worth it.

Fed is best.

DS (4) was severely tongue-tied and I really tried but he was FF. I had so much guilt but he is thriving now

I combi fed dd1, ebf dd2. I found breastfeeding much easier the second time around, partly because dd2 was a more determined feeder and partly because at least one of us knew what we were doing. Still hurt for the first week but after that all good. I have a 3 year gap, so jealousy not that much of an issue.
Personally I hated bottle feeding, it's so much extra work and planning. The two big advantages are that you can see what baby is getting, and your partner can do feeds. The wonderful thing about breastfeeding is that once it's established it's so easy, always there, always the right temperature and no washing or sterilising involved. We moved house when dd2 was 2 months old, and I was so grateful that bf had worked out and I could give it zero headspace.
With dd1 I got forced onto combi feeding by jaundice, but that is a legitimate choice too. Just be aware that babies can develop a preference which can push you one way or the other. Dd1 liked the ease of the bottle best for 4 months, then suddenly did a 180 and would only breastfeed, which was rather stressful until my supply caught up.
Sorry for the essay, but hope it helps.

I bf 4 children with no issues, stopped around 2 years with each I realise I'm unusual though as for me it was easy. No regrets I never even considered ff and none of my have had a drop.

Try and just go with the flow but be open to doing what works best for your family without putting any pressure on yourself now. Things work out differently with each baby. As PP have said, fed is best.

I BF both of my daughters until they were about 6 months old, then I warned them onto formula when we introduced food. I would definitely do it again and I have no regrets about how long I did it for. It was hard with my first DD and took a lot of practice and getting used to it, lots of cracked nips and soreness and a couple of episodes of mastitis but once we got over all that then it was pretty easy and convenient. Once mine got to 6 months, I found they were easily distracted so feeds were getting trickier and they were waking so frequently all through the night so formula and bottles really did help with that. I found BF did help me to bond with both my girls, the stress of a new baby seemed less stressful once the oxytocin of feeding them kicked in. That's not to say you can't bond with a bottle, of course you can, but the chemicals released in me as I fed them helped to ease some of the new baby panics. I gave and encouraged both of mine to have dummies and they breastfed fine, this helped with constant night wakings when I was pretty sure they had had enough to eat. BF can be intense in that it's all on you unless you express too which I did and that helped to skip 1 or 2 feeds now and then. It's hard to know what they have had when they are BF and as parents it's helpful to know these things sometimes. My eldest didn't get jealous of me BF my youngest, sometimes you have to adjust how the receive your attention in that situation so they associate you doing it as something positive. My advice would be try it, see how it goes but don't put too much pressure on yourself, with 2 small babes you need to do what works for you and your family. Definitely research all the support groups online and F2F if possible by then, because there are many and they can make all the difference. I went to a drop in session at my local hospital about 3 times and the ladies there we so good at supporting me with the correct latch, looking for tongue tie etc etc. I also watched a very informative video with my 2nd DD that showed newborns being placed on mums bare chest and instinctively they find the nipple themselves and so begins a less stressful feeding experience. Might be worth googling to see or read a bit more about this idea. It worked with my youngest DD

Breastfeeding is best if you can do it. Nothing better than a mummy's milk made specially for that baby. Liquid gold.

I've fed 2 babies and would do it again in a heartbeat

I had a horrid time trying to BF DD1 and didn't want a repeat for DD2, so FF from the start.

BF has an advantage on a population level, but the individual advantages are so small that I judged it not to be worth the stress. Particularly if they end up eating chicken nuggets etc as kids then out on the lash as adults.

There is such a lack of support it can be very difficult to breastfeed.

It is really bloody difgicult and the bullshit lying to new mothers makes it terribly complicated with guilt because the image is, quick latch on and their off.

The truth is it can be bloody weeks and weeks of torture with mixed results.

I fed all of mine for 7 months and it wasn't easy.
I was not a natural and I think it's completely up to new mothers.

The lack of support is just so awful.

I think if I was advising mt daughter I would advise to try an get the colostrum into the baby and do @LouiseTrees suggestion if the breastfeeding didn't take.
If it doesn't workout the formula is perfectly fine.

Without a doubt, a happy mum, means a happy baby.

I exclusively breastfeed dc1 including through his NICU stay for 16 weeks. I loathed everything single second of it. It repulsed me, I'd get emotional and panicky when he woke up hungry but I felt I'd failed at birth and that I needed to keep going.

Dc2 was going to be formula fed from birth. She ended up being breastfed for longer than her brother. It was a totally different experience and although I still struggled, it was nowhere as knee jerk a reaction as with dc1.

Until they are here, you aren't going to know how you feel.

I think I would try bf and see how it goes. This baby might take to it really well, and you might find it actually fits in better with having another toddler. Bf can be done with one hand leaving a hand free for turning pages of a book for the older one or whatever, while ff takes two hands. Less faffing around with sterilising too.

Ultimately if the bf doesn’t work out then ff will be fine.

Informed and supported is best. Boobs meant no bottles, no faff of sterilising. Wasted milk formula is extortionate! Should be more tightly regulated! I did tandem feed for a while but I believe in natural term weaning. Long term advantages to gut flora etc. But I was FF do have gut issues but I was weaned early due to advice at the time 😱.

I think this is one of those topics where people’s opinions are not helpful at all.
You have to base it on the facts and your own feelings and circumstances.
As long as you feed your baby, they’ll do just fine.

That sounds so traumatic, I hope you got good support. Bf is 2 way relationship, you are just as important as the baby. And you didn't fail your firstborn. Our bodies don't always do everything naturally! I've had 2 c-sections x

That was meant for dinosaur x

@Wearywithteens

It doesn’t matter. Whatever work for you, works. Your baby will develop perfectly normal either way.

This.

If you can and you want to breastfeed then great especially in the first few weeks but as long as your baby is being fed that is what is most important!

Breast is best but formula is fine.

This ^^

I breastfed my first two, found it reasonably easy and I loved it. However, I'll forever be grateful that formula was available when my third baby wasn't gaining weight on breastmilk and I had to switch to formula. I didn't feel good about it, but seeing him start to gain weight was such a relief after weeks of stress.

I won't be having any more babies but if I did I'd start off breastfeeding but would switch to formula again if I had to without feeling guilty for a second.

Fed is best.
I had MH issues to begin with. However, manage/d extremely well with meds. No meds during pregnancy.
With my first, I soldiered on for 3 months, despite PPA and crazy weight loss. (Very petite to begin with!) Letdown made me weep. There's a term for that now...?
La Leche League made it worse.
Must say my Ob/Gyn was very supportive and very angry to see how upset I was ..."I survived on formula...You survived on formula! Happy mama = happy baby!" He was such an angel.
Made it about 6 weeks with DD.
I'd try it, but be prepared to switch if necessary.

I'm combi feeding my first, more bf than ff. I found establishing bf tough but now we are into the swing of things it's a lot more convenient than when we give bottles. In your position I would give bf a go but not put too much pressure on yourself.

If you want to give it a go, give it a go ❤️ this time could be totally different.

I remember sobbing for hours that I'd failed DD by giving her formula after undiagnosed lip tie and zero support ended our bf journey early. I look back now and wonder what I got so het up for, DD is a clever, active six year old who's had two colds in her whole life.

If it suits you, do it, because it's convenient and cheap. But don't think it's the end of the world if it doesn't suit you.

I breastfed all of mine. The siblings managed, though it was time consuming.

I loved how convenient it was (no need to bring bottles and formula out). It also felt normal, natural, and I loved that it was something positive that I could do for my baby. Additionally, it saved money (formula is expensive), helped bonding and helped me return to my pre-baby weight very quickly. Breast milk is tailored to your baby's needs, and best for them health wise.