To be worried about 5 year old's empathy?

[Devonmum2020]

DD is 5.5 and I'm being driven crazy by her complete lack of empathy.

She bites her younger brother constantly and when we do the "look what you have done, this hurt DS" all I get back is a blank "well he made me mad".

She attacked me badly on Tuesday and I showed her the marks. Her response " I was itchy"

I have been unwell all weekend, DS has been giving me blankets etc and understanding when I have said mummy can't do x because I'm poorly. DD is just kicking off over everything. When I explain that mummy really isn't feeling well there's literally nothing there. She absolutely does not care and it has been meltdown after meltdown.

I don't know how to get her to get it but I'm getting so frustrated :(

I know kids don't develop empathy until 6 or 7 but Aibu to think she should have more than she has? DS is a young 4 and he seems to be able to grasp it.

I didn't see your post about using physical punishment, OP. I really don't think this is a good idea at all, and I think that it is important to try to use the same positive behaviour reinforcement methods that school uses - very important. This will give consistency.

I think keeping things calm, peaceful, non-aggressive is crucial. I would ask the school to help you to make reward charts and use some of their tools. Until you know what is your child's difficulty, I think it is important not to be condemning or being negative. She might have a learning difficulty around cooperative behaviour, and might need more understanding.

I categorically do NOT use physical punishment. It's what the school are suggesting is happening though.