"Dementors" and anti dementors are just as bad as each other

[Jingstohang]

I'm sick of seeing the self righteous "anti dementors" calling others dementors because they want to stick to the guidelines/social distancing/not licking walls.

If you don't believe we should all be totally back to normal yet then you're attacked as a dementor.

I think there's a middle ground of being sensible, taking precautions and being aware there is still risk. But the anti- dementor crowd think that's being hugely negative and living in fear.

I'm sick of it. Both extremes are as bad as each other.

By this stage I am the demented.

Cheese as a milk substitute in coffee - so many questions! Wouldn't it just sit at the bottom of the mug going gloopy? Wouldn't it make the coffee taste all savoury? I guess a mascarpone type cheese would be better than cheddar.

@SockYarn Is correct in that that was the spirit the anti-dementors threads were started in.

However I do agree with you that there seems have been an increase of posts on some of the anti-dementor threads by some people deliberately flouncing their rules and criticising anyone who is cautious or worried as over dramatic and fear monger

I think you are right that both extremes are as bad as each other. This seems to be the case in most of life, the far right and left are both bad, most extreme groups or movements take things to far and generally in life the middle ground is always the most sensible path to take.

Helpful tip - avoid any threads with titles that reference Harry Potter unless they're about the children's book series.

I was called a murderer for going out to buy Easter eggs. Went to get some more after that!

Oh and the post where a horse owner was told to leave her horses to die because caring for horses wasn’t an essential journey.

And the poster who was “literally sobbing and shaking” because someone went to buy a chocolate bar which she deemed non-essential and murdering behaviours. Despite there never being a list of what you were allowed to buy.

Making up rules and being so anxious that you have a breakdown over a sentence on Mumsnet is not normal behaviour.

Oh and the post where a horse owner was told to leave her horses to die because caring for horses wasn’t an essential journey.

I’d forgotten that post. That was horrendous!

My mental health really took a pounding with posts like that one, tbh. I ended up hiding loads of topics as it was just too much.

The great thing about the threads is that everyone is supportive of a huge variety of opinion. People even admit to being wrong or not having thought things through... Like polite and reasonable adults!
It's the only thread I've ventured on to where there has never been any form of rudeness or dismissal. People disagree with each other with care for the other person's feelings.
And discussions vary widely through politics, health and media to aubergines!
To be fair as well the threads were moved pretty early on to Chat - rather than, for eg aibu or coronavirus - so that they could be a more discreet respite for people struggling.

Being another one of those rare people who hasn't read Harry Potter, the first time I saw one of these threads I Googled “dementor” (though it’s reasonably self-explanatory): kudos for choosing exactly the right word. That said, I’d place myself more in their camp than the anti-dementors, whose threads mostly strike me as wishful thinking. Also, posting how you’ve just popped into Tescos for a spot of murder stops being so amusing after you’ve read variations on the theme a few thousand times.

countrygirl99
So janicewebster thinks calling someone a selfish barstard and, incidentally, really having a vicious go at me and others, on a forum for doing something within the rules is ok but calling someone a dementor is cringey. Righty ho then.

well it is cringey, and I can find as many abusive examples where it's the other side who got abused, that's the point you are completely missing.

Some people had a very personal interpretation of "the rules", made their own and have been extremely vicious towards others who follow rules, guidelines and advice, and who chose to be more cautious than they were.

There has been some nasty twats on each side, and using the term "dementor" doesn't indicate a very moderate and reasoned poster.

I agree with JaniceWebster. I think I'm somewhere in the middle of this dichotomy but I often sense real spite behind the posts sneering at "dementors." There doesn't seem as much spite on the other side.

I have no clue why people are winding themselves up about this.

@AnnaBanana333

I agree with JaniceWebster. I think I'm somewhere in the middle of this dichotomy but I often sense real spite behind the posts sneering at "dementors." There doesn't seem as much spite on the other side.

There is no spite. I think the mood is very much "wow it must be pretty awful to live like that" and actually I'm personally starting to feel quite sorry for certain posters as its clear to me that they're probably not mentally very well. I've had severe anxiety in the past and it's increasingly evident on this forum.

Those threads are an amusing lifeline for many, including myself.

It's a place where we share the good news, without being told we're nasty human beings for daring to find some positives in the clusterfuck that is 2020.

We welcome discussion, we do not welcome the doom naysayers who do it just to upset people.

Some of us support what the various governments have done, some of us dont. Some agree with masks, some of us dont. Some of us bend the occasional rule, some of us dont.

When MN has turned into a place where legally popping to IKEA or primark has you declared a murderer, sometimes the only way to cope with that is to flip it & reverse it and laugh at our murdering ways.

Plus, we recently had a very insightful discussion on roundabouts

I like to think of us more as a glass half full/can do group & a positive light at the end of this dark tunnel.

@SpnBaby1967

Those threads are an amusing lifeline for many, including myself.

It's a place where we share the good news, without being told we're nasty human beings for daring to find some positives in the clusterfuck that is 2020.

We welcome discussion, we do not welcome the doom naysayers who do it just to upset people.

Some of us support what the various governments have done, some of us dont. Some agree with masks, some of us dont. Some of us bend the occasional rule, some of us dont.

When MN has turned into a place where legally popping to IKEA or primark has you declared a murderer, sometimes the only way to cope with that is to flip it & reverse it and laugh at our murdering ways.

Plus, we recently had a very insightful discussion on roundabouts

I like to think of us more as a glass half full/can do group & a positive light at the end of this dark tunnel.

I've just written - and discarded a post that was trying to say just this. @SpnBaby1967 has said it much better.

I am not sorry - there are many posters that have been very thankful to find us.

Earlier this year I was due to go on holiday, visiting family and friends I have not seen in a few years and seeing my friends new baby. I have an incredibly stressful and often relentless job and I haven't had a break from it really since the back end of last year, it has also been exacerbated by lockdown.

On the day I was supposed to be going I posted to say I was feeling down that day as I missed my friends and family dearly and I feel like I need a break. I felt like I was at breaking point. But I just have to try and "tread water" until we attempt to go in August (I moved the break).

I was told I was a "fucking selfish cow" for being sad about a holiday when "thousands are dying of covid every day", I was a "daydreaming pollyanna" for thinking I'd even be able to leave the country before next year at the very earliest (which we still dont know yet but I'm sure that point could have been made without the name calling). This went on for almost 50 posts.
It is awful to be leapt on and jeered at and name called incessantly just because I feel sad about something as superficial as a holiday.

I posted on a thread about the MH impact of lockdown and over and over again it was just posters saying "not being able to do what you want every day and go to the pub with your mates does not mean you have a mental health problem" or "people are DYING! Get a grip!" When I work with people with mh problems who are suffering so badly, to think that is how people view them right now made me so desperately sad.
Then I found the anti dementor thread. And actually got supported, not screeched at.

14 threads on and still going.....people obviously need them. Maybe rather than sneer at them, take a look at why people need a corner to Express an opinion or an emotion and not immediately be called names.

The anti Dementors may have morphed into a long running and ultimately benign MN "quiche" but the started off as Covid deniers who all stood together in one bit of the playground slagging off anyone and everyone remotely concerned about the fact that thousands of people were dying needlessly

No, they didn’t.
And the poster you’re referring to was hounded off MN by some malicious trolls who started multiple threads about how to get her banned.

There is no spite.

Yes, there really is.

Ah. You recognised my description of her then?
Good.
Nasty selfish piece of work.
And yes they did start like that. Absofuckinglutely.

Yes, I recognise the description from the vitriol used on the troll threads that were set up solely in order to get her banned... one said they wanted to ‘end’ her. Luckily MN deleted those threads with the message that they have been ‘started by trolls’... were you on them?

Wanting to ‘end’ someone is pretty spiteful id say, whether you agree with their views or not.

No I wasn't on them. Ask HQ. I have been on the "worried about Coronavirus" and the "numbers and graphs". And a couple of shorter running Covid threads.

I often reported her for her trolling and personal attacks and talking about people worried about Coronavirus on the oh so lovely anti dementor thread though.

I don’t recall anything she said being deleted on the anti dementor threads, despite the reports. The horrific threads about her were soon zapped though.

The worry is that she has had 2 previous suicide attempts, and no one has heard from her since the threads threatening to end her. Whatever her views, no one deserves that.