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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Large dogs should be leads if their owners can’t call them off kids

164 replies

CustardyCreams · 16/06/2020 15:40

Today, a large Labrador ran into my toddler while we had stopped in a green space for a drink whilst on our daily exercise. The owner was calling the dog and he had about 20m to get the dog back under control so I figured the best thing was to hold my son to keep him calm and still, but I didn’t pick him up because I thought the movement might make the dog bark or jump up at us and that could be frightening. But the dog ignored its owner, I tried to push the dog off, but it barged me and got to my son, licked his water bottle and the snuffled his face and started licking his face, before it ran off having seen another dog to go and play with (the owner was laughing and telling the other dog owner his dog would grab the tennis ball off him ‘if he wasn’t careful’).

Although this wasn’t an aggressive dog, if an animal taller than you comes running at you, panting, licks your face, it is disconcerting at the very least, and this was a stranger’s dog so I was very shocked that the owner wasn’t able to call it off us; most dog owners I know would never allow their dog to approach a very young child like that. The dog seemed wildly excited, and I do think in that case, on public pathways, the owner has a responsibility to control the animal when there are so many young children out of school.

AIBU to have asked the owner to consider keeping his large dog on a long lead, given that there a large number of small children out of school and it is frightening for very small children to be approached and licked?

If it is a small dog, or a well-behaved large dog, I’ve absolutely no objection and we love looking at the woof-woofs usually when we are out for a walk.

Also - AIBU to not trust any large stranger’s dog around my 1 year old, regardless of breed? I was always told by dog-loving friends that no dog is entirely safe with a small child.

The reason I’m feeling sensitive about this, is that when my 10 year old daughter returned to me (she had scampered off to play in a patch of trees while we had our drink) I asked if she had seen or heard me talking to the dog’s owner. She said no, but I explained (admittedly quite dramatically ) what happened and I said I felt bad because I had not expected the dog to lick my son and his cup, and I froze ( I should havE picked my son up or pushed my body in front of my son, but the dog simply wouldn’t be pushed away).

I then laughed and said maybe I needed my daughter to teach me some martial arts moves to defend us next time! My daughter then obliged me by demonstrating a stomp kick, and I said, “exactly, a stomp kick, that would be the right move!” It was jokey.

However we were being a bit loud and another mum about 10m away with two girls in rather beautiful party dresses, suddenly shouted over to me that I was being melodramatic and teaching children to stomp kick dogs was animal cruelty and passing on my fear of dogs to other people was unacceptable , teaching children to be afraid of dogs is wrong, and on and on.( In case it’s not obvious, I agree with her - I haven’t taught either of my kids to actually kick dogs, or to be afraid of dogs in general, but strangers’ dogs we always are wary of, and wait to be invited to pet them, and always do so gently by coming up alongside the dog first and not thrusting a hand at its muzzle. In exchange I expect owners won’t let their animals off the lead if they can’t control their playfulness around tiny children and call the dog to heel).

I apologised right away if her daughters had overheard, and said it was only a joke, my girls are old enough to understand that I’m not truly advocating stomp-kicking a Labrador ( in my house when we are stressed we use sometimes quite dark humour to get us through it, and I was utterly shaken by the dog running at my son. I’m not usually bothered by dogs at all, but this one was just so persistent, if it had decided to bite I don’t think I could have stopped it).

My daughter was very upset and furious at this lady yelling at me, and I was totally taken aback. I mean in reality if a dog DOES attack you, and freezing, turning away, hiding your hands etc don’t stop it, isn’t kicking it actually recommended? Be clear - I’m still not advocating kicking your average Labrador. But if ever my daughter is attacked by a dog, shouldn’t she have a strategy?

By the way - my daughter does do martial arts for self defence. She does not know it, but the reason is I had a friend who was Brutally raped in broad daylight aged 16, walking home from school, and I will never be complacent about giving my daughter the confidence to try and defend herself. This still doesn’t mean I am turning her into a crazy dog-kicking lunatic. Does it?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 16/06/2020 15:43

“ I mean in reality if a dog DOES attack you, and freezing, turning away, hiding your hands etc don’t stop it, isn’t kicking it actually recommended? “

No, kicking a dog wouldn’t stop a dog attacking, it’d just escalate the situation.

Dogs should be on leads if they’re not going to recall though, whatever size they are.

cologne4711 · 16/06/2020 15:43

All dogs should be on leads at the moment, they can't social distance.

I had one run over to me on Sunday fortunately didn't jump up but did touch me. You wouldn't let your child do it so don't let your dog do it. Owner just said "it's ok she just wants to say hello". Well I don't want to say hello! It's your pet not mine!

Surprised a labrador behaved like that actually, they are usually very docile and non-excitable.

The people who overhead your conversation should have kept quiet - it's not for them to start lecturing you about your views on dogs.

Thelnebriati · 16/06/2020 15:44

Any dog with less than 100% recall shouldn't be off the lead anywhere its a risk to itself or others.

SamVimesFavouriteDragon · 16/06/2020 15:45

Absolutely dogs should be on leads if they can't be recalled! I'm shocked by how many people have little to no control of their dogs where we live. Bloody ridiculous

WeeMadArthur · 16/06/2020 15:47

Any dog with poor recall should be on the lead, regardless of size. Owners are responsible for training their dogs and recall ( unless you never plan on letting your dog off the lead) is essential.

ComDummings · 16/06/2020 15:47

All dogs should be on leads unless they have perfect recall. Too many shitty owners don’t care though.
Before lockdown I was walking through the park and a Labrador absolutely bolted for me, I was far enough away that I didn’t actually know what kind of dog it was at first and I could tell if the owner was male/female etc. It was running around me, it was not excited at all and starting to growl. All the while the owner is screaming at the dog to come back. When he caught up I told him he was a prick. Ugh I hate hate hate shitty dog owners.

ginsparkles · 16/06/2020 15:48

As an owner of a nervous dog, I think any dog that cannot be recalled quickly and effectively should not be off lead.
Walks for us can be very stressful when other dogs come over to "make friends" with my elderly nervous dog.

AristotleAteMyHamster · 16/06/2020 15:49

I’m getting really fed up with off lead dogs with no recall.

I was in the designated picnic area of a park at the weekend with a friend and her young baby. Friend kept having to scoop baby up from the picnic mat because dogs kept running over, and we gave up on actually trying to eat anything.

Owners couldn’t see they were doing anything antisocial.

okiedokieme · 16/06/2020 15:51

Dogs should not approach other people, end of. My gripe is parents who allow their kids to chase my dog, hes been taught not to approach other people and dogs, he keeps to himself (and his ball) I swear he's autistic!

Kirschcherry · 16/06/2020 15:52

The dog should have been on a lead especially given the current circumstances. I hated dogs running up to my DC when they were little so I do understand. However, if I had overheard you talking to your daughter about stomp kicking a friendly Labrador (even though it’s owner obviously should have it under control) I would have been pretty appalled.

PrayingandHoping · 16/06/2020 15:53

ANY dog without recall should be on a lead. It drives me nuts that small dogs get away being badly behaved because they are small. (I'm a large dog owner....)

No excuse. The dog owner should have had control and should have been full of apologies at what happened!

Rainycloudyday · 16/06/2020 15:53

Couldn’t agree more OP. I’m so sick of walks with my kids being ruined by out of control dogs and arrogant owners. We were out at a woodland walk near us the other weekend and this absolutely enormous German shepherd/Alsatian type dog was tearing around with a branch about six foot across in its mouth. Lots of kids were around and playing in the river and were absolutely terrified by this huge excitable dog bounding around and barking very loudly while the owners threw things for it to chase and generally wound it up more and more. It was probably totally harmless and just having fun but small kids don’t know that and neither do I for sure. A dog that size with a stick that size shouldn’t be leaping around out of control in such a busy area full of families. The way it’s owners were beaming proudly reminded me of parents indulging their poorly behaved kids and thinking everyone is admiring how cute they are. No, we’re all thinking please put that bloody dog on a lead, it’s the size of a horse, barking like a mad thing and ruining this walk for everyone!

Sorry, needed to get that off my chest!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 16/06/2020 15:53

I detest this. I look after an autistic man who is proper scared of dogs.

Owners think that a hollow laugh and saying, "Oh, he's friendly!" is okay.

Or the worst one: "He won't bite, but he might lick you to death. Hawhawhaw."

I cannot even begin to explain how much I don't want to be licked by a strange animal. Especially when I'm on my way to a workplace where hygiene is important.

okiedokieme · 16/06/2020 15:54

@cologne4711

My dog tries to socially distance, he is such a loner. Just a shame there's lots of poorly trained dogs and bad owners (and bad parents who think it's ok for their kid to touch a dog without asking)

Panicmode1 · 16/06/2020 15:54
  1. Dogs should be on lead if they don't have good recall. Dogs must and should be under control at all times. However, there are bad/irresponsible dog owners who will not always respect this code.
  1. Children should not be allowed to pet/approach other people's dogs before asking. There are irresponsible parents who don't always respect this code.
  1. If your children are scared of dogs, please don't walk them in known dog walking areas and then scream blue murder when one has the audacity to walk past you, even if it's not doing anything to you/your child/your possessions/your food.
  1. There are FAR more people out and about at the moment - both dog walkers and child owners need to be vigilant around their furry and non furry charges and be tolerant of each other.

I am a dog owner and have many of my own children. Dog walking is very stressful at the moment because there are lots of small children, lots of small children carrying food, and lots of parents of small children who look as though you have two heads if you dare to let your large dog walk within 5 m of them, even if the dog isn't doing anything, and you have dog walked in the 'dog meadow' for years and have never seen so many people in the same space in your life before....live and let live and be responsible with your charges, whether human or canine!

Rainycloudyday · 16/06/2020 15:55

Oh and don’t get me started on our recent attempts to have picnics with the kids-I spend the whole time on my feet fending off dogs from grabbing my toddlers sandwich while the owners stroll miles away either totally oblivious or thinking it’s all lovely and amusing. I think I’m more conscious of it because of how much more time we’re spending on these kinda of activities but I’m really getting sick of dogs, dogs, dogs in our faces everywhere!

PinkRoseBouquets · 16/06/2020 15:56

I completely agree with you OP and I am a dog owner. I wish all dogs had to be on leads at all times unless they are in a very rural area. I have a nervous dog and walks are so stressful for her and me due to other dogs. She is always on a lead with a yellow harness (a sign of a nervous dog) and treats for me to try and train her. Despite all this dogs regularly come running up to her. Even walking around our quiet neighbourhood we have had dogs run out of people's front doors over to our dog. We have even on two separate occasions had off-lead dogs run into our home and up to our dog when we had the front door open momentarily.

As a child I used to be terrified of dogs as well and I think people who are scared of dogs have a right to be able to enjoy outdoor space and parks without being scared.

Disquieted1 · 16/06/2020 15:57

I couldn't begin to count the number of times I've been told "he wouldn't hurt a flea" or "don't worry, he's all bark and no bite" as the dog has been growling and showing its teeth.

It's not fair to not allow dogs to run around, but there should be designated, signposted areas for this.

Rainycloudyday · 16/06/2020 15:57

PS it’s lovely to hear from some responsible and understanding dog owners on here though!

Fleamaker123 · 16/06/2020 15:59

YANBU. Can't stand it if you're in the park and a dog starts running towards you when you've got young children. I remember taking my newborn for a walk and a Doberman ran up and poked his head in the buggy. Toddlers licked in the face. I've lost count of the times I've had to wipe slobber off my trousers. And that thing where they go round the back of you and try to sniff up your bum... So I'm with you on this one. Plus I would've ignored that nosy woman it was a private conversation!

Ewock · 16/06/2020 16:01

This is why my eldest is scared of dogs. We have had it twice where a big dog has run into the child's playground and jumped up at him. First time when he was 4 I felt awful the dog was quicker than me. It didn't hurt him and was trying to play but that is not the point. It has taken nearly 3 years to get my eldest to be calm when a dog is around. Majority of owners are responsible and lovely and when they see my son worried they put the lead on and will spend time talking to us and him about the dog. This has really helped him however there are still owners who think their dog running up to children even when obviously afraid is fine and not a problem. And when I've asked them to call the dog back I get the usual he loves kids etc. Fine take him round kids you know not my child who is visibly afraid.

LaughingDonkey · 16/06/2020 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Noodledoodledoo · 16/06/2020 16:03

I agree dogs with zero recall should be on leads. I am dealing with a 3 year old who doesn't want to go to the park or walk through it to go to school after a big labrador sized dog came barrelling over to us yesterday whilst we had a picnic, shoved its face into his pack lunch box and terrified him as would not leave. Owner did nothing, didnt even call him off us.

Then the owners other dog came and attacked a friends,who had stopped to talk to me, dog. Again bare minium done and not a word of apology.

We seem to have a few issues locally and it has been suggested parents should not take children to any park if they don't want dogs coming near them! Its the dogs right to run where they like.

This mornings walk to school was horrendous as he was expecting the big bully dogs to come and get him again. He got very jumpy as we walked past a couple of dogs, whose owners gave me a look and I just said we had a bad experience yesterday so he is a bit worried, they apologised!!

I hate some dog owners, where as others are brilliant.

Picklypickles · 16/06/2020 16:04

All dogs should be on leads, especially if they aren't properly trained. In fact a great deal of dog owners shouldn't bloody have dogs to begin with if they can't understand that not everyone loves doggies and is quite happy to be ran at/jumped on/licked and covered in whatever mud/shit is all over its fur. I live on Dartmoor and I see so much idiocy from dog owners on a daily basis, from shit left everywhere to dogs running up and slobbering on people and pestering or outright attacking sheep and ponies. My 6yr old is scared of dogs and its because of idiot dog owners who can't keep their dogs under control, he got pushed into a river by one last week. 99% of the time the owners are nowhere to be seen or just don't give a shit. Only once has someone actually rushed to stop their dog and bothered to apologise.

I think kicking the owners is the way to go.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/06/2020 16:04

YANBU. My DD is scared of dogs because of being jumped upon by out of control dogs. The two incidents that stick in her head are
A) as a toddler being run over by a dog. She doesn't remember this fully, just a big dark animal leaping on her.
B) as a five year old, bei g knocked off her bike by a dog, who then jumped into the bike trailer with her sister. That one was being chased by an apologetic owner whose garden gate had been left open.
Both dogs were friendly. That wasn't the point... She was hurt both times (just scrapes/bruises).

Dog owners need to take responsibility for their dogs actions. Even in 'dog walking areas' which are often open space for families as well.

Ironically... She loves dogs. Just polite ones who don't jump at strangers.

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