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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Large dogs should be leads if their owners can’t call them off kids

164 replies

CustardyCreams · 16/06/2020 15:40

Today, a large Labrador ran into my toddler while we had stopped in a green space for a drink whilst on our daily exercise. The owner was calling the dog and he had about 20m to get the dog back under control so I figured the best thing was to hold my son to keep him calm and still, but I didn’t pick him up because I thought the movement might make the dog bark or jump up at us and that could be frightening. But the dog ignored its owner, I tried to push the dog off, but it barged me and got to my son, licked his water bottle and the snuffled his face and started licking his face, before it ran off having seen another dog to go and play with (the owner was laughing and telling the other dog owner his dog would grab the tennis ball off him ‘if he wasn’t careful’).

Although this wasn’t an aggressive dog, if an animal taller than you comes running at you, panting, licks your face, it is disconcerting at the very least, and this was a stranger’s dog so I was very shocked that the owner wasn’t able to call it off us; most dog owners I know would never allow their dog to approach a very young child like that. The dog seemed wildly excited, and I do think in that case, on public pathways, the owner has a responsibility to control the animal when there are so many young children out of school.

AIBU to have asked the owner to consider keeping his large dog on a long lead, given that there a large number of small children out of school and it is frightening for very small children to be approached and licked?

If it is a small dog, or a well-behaved large dog, I’ve absolutely no objection and we love looking at the woof-woofs usually when we are out for a walk.

Also - AIBU to not trust any large stranger’s dog around my 1 year old, regardless of breed? I was always told by dog-loving friends that no dog is entirely safe with a small child.

The reason I’m feeling sensitive about this, is that when my 10 year old daughter returned to me (she had scampered off to play in a patch of trees while we had our drink) I asked if she had seen or heard me talking to the dog’s owner. She said no, but I explained (admittedly quite dramatically ) what happened and I said I felt bad because I had not expected the dog to lick my son and his cup, and I froze ( I should havE picked my son up or pushed my body in front of my son, but the dog simply wouldn’t be pushed away).

I then laughed and said maybe I needed my daughter to teach me some martial arts moves to defend us next time! My daughter then obliged me by demonstrating a stomp kick, and I said, “exactly, a stomp kick, that would be the right move!” It was jokey.

However we were being a bit loud and another mum about 10m away with two girls in rather beautiful party dresses, suddenly shouted over to me that I was being melodramatic and teaching children to stomp kick dogs was animal cruelty and passing on my fear of dogs to other people was unacceptable , teaching children to be afraid of dogs is wrong, and on and on.( In case it’s not obvious, I agree with her - I haven’t taught either of my kids to actually kick dogs, or to be afraid of dogs in general, but strangers’ dogs we always are wary of, and wait to be invited to pet them, and always do so gently by coming up alongside the dog first and not thrusting a hand at its muzzle. In exchange I expect owners won’t let their animals off the lead if they can’t control their playfulness around tiny children and call the dog to heel).

I apologised right away if her daughters had overheard, and said it was only a joke, my girls are old enough to understand that I’m not truly advocating stomp-kicking a Labrador ( in my house when we are stressed we use sometimes quite dark humour to get us through it, and I was utterly shaken by the dog running at my son. I’m not usually bothered by dogs at all, but this one was just so persistent, if it had decided to bite I don’t think I could have stopped it).

My daughter was very upset and furious at this lady yelling at me, and I was totally taken aback. I mean in reality if a dog DOES attack you, and freezing, turning away, hiding your hands etc don’t stop it, isn’t kicking it actually recommended? Be clear - I’m still not advocating kicking your average Labrador. But if ever my daughter is attacked by a dog, shouldn’t she have a strategy?

By the way - my daughter does do martial arts for self defence. She does not know it, but the reason is I had a friend who was Brutally raped in broad daylight aged 16, walking home from school, and I will never be complacent about giving my daughter the confidence to try and defend herself. This still doesn’t mean I am turning her into a crazy dog-kicking lunatic. Does it?

OP posts:
Marshmallow91 · 17/06/2020 18:18

The thing is - what if your little boy had been scared of dogs and reacted by hitting the dog in its eye/nose etc or actually kicking it? What if he had SEN issues around animals? That lady didn't know that and she was stupid to allow her dog off the lead if she can't recall it. And I bet if your toddler lashed out, you'd be the one getting berated by her for it.

You can control yourself but toddlers can be just as unpredictable as animals. The two should only ever meet carefully and calmly.

Viviennemary · 17/06/2020 18:22

The dog was out of control and should have been on a lead. Will those dog owners never learn.

alittlerespectgoesalongway · 17/06/2020 20:14

All dogs, regardless of size shoes be on a lead if not completely under owner's control and its massively entitled and selfish of dog owners to allow them to approach people, walk on their things, sniff them, shuffle their food etc.

Tiny2018 · 17/06/2020 20:24

Large dogs off leads in the immediate vicinity in general make me quite anxious.
I'm only just five foot tall, and have often had large dogs come bounding over and jump up me, and their claws tend to dig into and scratch my legs.
The owners tend to laugh it off with an awkward 'sorry' in my experience, and I'm too polite to create a fuss.
Any time I see a larger dig nearby now I become quite anxious, understandably.

Louise24902 · 17/06/2020 23:17

@TazSyd I don’t like pit bulls or English bull terriers etc basically any dog that has been bred to fight has no place at all in cities or towns, they are too strong and uncontrollable when they lose their temper. I think they should be banned

Pit bulls are banned in the UK.

Also always people like yourself that like to comment on "fighting breeds" without knowing any thing about them - staffies, pit bulls etc are actually very submissive dogs and have excellent recall when they're trained to do so - the reason they are used in dog fighting is because of how well they pick up training. As with any dog it's about how they're trained - just because a select few people decide to give them a bad name by using them for fighting, doesn't mean the majority of owners of these breeds use them for that. Your attitude towards it is just pure ignorance, maybe do your research on what loyal, gentle and caring breeds they are instead.

I work with dogs and have had injuries from far me small breeds (westies, Yorkers, shih tzus) than I have any large breeds and I take all breeds. People think they can't do as much damage but any bite/scratch etc can get infected - I nearly lost function in one of my hands after a bite from a westie got infected and needed to have surgery on it.

ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother · 18/06/2020 14:11

Louise24902

@TazSydI don’t like pit bulls or English bull terriers etc basically any dog that has been bred to fight has no place at all in cities or towns, they are too strong and uncontrollable when they lose their temper. I think they should be banned

Pit bulls are banned in the UK.

Also always people like yourself that like to comment on "fighting breeds" without knowing any thing about them - staffies, pit bulls etc are actually very submissive dogs and have excellent recall when they're trained to do so - the reason they are used in dog fighting is because of how well they pick up training. As with any dog it's about how they're trained - just because a select few people decide to give them a bad name by using them for fighting, doesn't mean the majority of owners of these breeds use them for that. Your attitude towards it is just pure ignorance, maybe do your research on what loyal, gentle and caring breeds they are instead.

I work with dogs and have had injuries from far me small breeds (westies, Yorkers, shih tzus) than I have any large breeds and I take all breeds. People think they can't do as much damage but any bite/scratch etc can get infected - I nearly lost function in one of my hands after a bite from a westie got infected and needed to have surgery on it.

I'm completely with taz on this.
Your stating that they were bred to fight because they're easy to train! 😂... That's total crap really total shit, so why were collies not bed for fighting then because they're easy to train or even the labrador.
I would sooner get bitten by a Yorkie than a bull breed, they should all be muzzled.
Most serious attacks are by them, anything I hear in the news that some child or person had been badly hurt I say bull breed before I even know and guarantee it is

ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother · 18/06/2020 14:14

And owners will say the usual... But mine is so docile, gentle, great with my children, has never shown aggression...... They haven't 'snapped yet' that's all. They may never but for me it's too much of a risk.
I'm passionate about this as a bull terrier in the family, 6 years old, never shown any aggression, cute, gentle,well trained, and all that crap, suddenly turned on my family member who was lying on the rug and hurt her badly, scared for life.

ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother · 18/06/2020 14:16

And any amount of training by the owners, the dog still has this fighting aggression built in.
Some attack cases are the owners fault but definitely not all.

LST · 18/06/2020 16:18

@ThatUser I just want to leave you this Biscuit

Deadringer · 18/06/2020 16:40

I am just fucking sick of selfish people not controlling their dogs. Just yesterday my sister was knocked over by a large dog that ran at her. She had to have surgery on her knee today and plates and pins put in her lower leg. The damage will most likely be permanent. Sorry for the rant, i am just so pissed off at selfish dog owners right now. Yanbu op.

ToastyCrumpet · 18/06/2020 16:50

Every time I go for a hike I am pestered by someone's little Fido that it's owners don't even attempt to call off. This drives me round the bend. If your fucking dog won't come to heel when you call it, keep it on a lead. Keep it on a lead ANYWAY around children, livestock and busy roads. How difficult is it?

VinoOlive · 18/06/2020 16:51

Yanbu. Last Sunday on our walk two dogs jumped up/knocked into/ licked 4 year old DS. He never used to bother about dogs but he's so much more wary than he used to be. In both cases the owner said 'oh he's just being friendly/don't worry, the dog's fine/oh the dog won't hurt him'.

It's rude, inconsiderate and anti social.

Louise24902 · 18/06/2020 22:13

@ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother that's your opinion, you'll believe what you like. I never said they were the only easy to train breed - just that if they weren't easy to train they wouldn't be used for fighting, they can just as easily be trained the opposite way.

The post I replied to was ignorant, people quick to judge a breed by a select few that train them specifically for fighting, without doing their research on the breed.

As for the fact you've only seen these breed on the news - we all know how reliable media is! They don't show the millions of good, well trained ones, they only show the bad ones - which can be the same for any breed but people like yourself love to jump on the "pit bulls should be banned" wagon.

cleopatrascorset · 18/06/2020 22:35

“ I mean in reality if a dog DOES attack you, and freezing, turning away, hiding your hands etc don’t stop it, isn’t kicking it actually recommended? “

No, kicking a dog wouldn’t stop a dog attacking, it’d just escalate the situation.

  • When I was attacked by a dog as a child I wish I'd had a chance to kick him. But he was too quick and got me first. YANBU, op.
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