To be sick of being told how lucky I am

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

Myself and DH have 2 children together DS1 is two and DS2 is 5 months and I'm really starting to get irritated with people telling me how lucky I am when're DH does something with our boys or around the house

Some examples

1. On the phone to a friend from work a few nights ago, I'm still on maternity when she asked if the boys were still up, I replied his DH had our boys to bed while I tidied up toys downstairs and her reply was "aww isn't he good doing that for you"

1. Last week I went outside to water some flowers in the front garden when a neighbour asked about the boys, I told her DH had took them out for a walk and she replied "it's nice of him to have them for you while you get a break"

1. In supermarket yesterday when the cashier must have noticed the picture i have of the boys as my phone screensaver and asked "they doing ok being stuck in?"

I told her they've been getting out almost daily walks and we're quite lucky to have a big garden so they're doing ok, she asked have I been taking them to shops and I replied no that DH was giving them lunch and putting them down for their naps while I get the shopping done. She replied "your lucky to have a Husband who babysits"

AIBU to think it's ridiculous in this day and day for people to think that a father doing his fair share of the work in raising his children means I am some sort of blessed wife who had a gift from god bestowed upon me.
He doesn't babysit, he is being a father!

I realise I'm probably being ridiculous getting annoyed by this but DS2 is teething and I've bot had much sleep and I forgot to get wine when I went shopping 😫

Disclaimer:Don’t have kids. However, do people seriously think it’s amazing that a father does stuff with/ for his kids? That fathers might actually enjoy doing things for and with their children? Wow!

Hmm nobody ever tells me how lucky I am that my DH does all the day time childcare, dropping off, picking up, appointments etc.

They do tell me I am lucky to be married to a chef though

These kinds of comment rile me too.

Also irritating is when I hear 'bless him for trying'...

...er no I don't think making breakfast, laundry [insert basic chore here] is something beyond his ability. If he can manage to get himself dressed, hold down a day job managing a team, I think he can work out that it is not okay to pull the clean washing into a bag that previously had garden plants in and has traces of soil all over the bottom, or that honey on dry toast with a dippy egg do not work.

I blame his parents for allowing him to think that a woman's job is to manage the home and children (whilst still holding down a job), but he soon realised that wasn't going to happen and that we needed to work together.

When I hear that 'you are lucky' phrase on any contribution that my husband makes to either home or children my eyes roll. I really don't understand why women let their partners get away with not pulling their weight.

My opinion is that it would wind me up to! But I'm on the other side as my kids dad does nothin with the kids I have to do everything and that would still annoy me ha. There seems to be so many men who think its beneath them to help out at home/with the kids so I do believe you have got yourself a good one there tho. I won't use the word lucky haha x

I would bloody love my DH to babysit .. working outside the house long hours.

I would bloody love my DH to babysit .. working outside the house long hours

I don't understand. So you think he should get an extra job as a babysitter on top of that?

@G5000 no.. It's not possible my DH to do anything with the kids weekdays. Out of the house 7-7 as does a 10 hour day plus an hours commute each way. I hate to say this but have to cut him some slack even on weekends.

So yes OP is lucky because a) it's possible b) because he does it. It shouldn't be unusual, but stay at home Dads are a minority, I only know one.

I often get home after 7 but manage to see my DC and spend my free time with them (well, I wouldn't call it babysitting, they're my own kids). But of course I'm the female parent so I'm still judged as an inadequate one who should not have had them at all, not praised as the hardworking one who deserves a break over the weekend..

@Tinkerbell456

Disclaimer:Don’t have kids. However, do people seriously think it’s amazing that a father does stuff with/ for his kids? That fathers might actually enjoy doing things for and with their children? Wow!

Yes

Sad isn't it?

@ishouldtryabiteachdayy

I would bloody love my DH to babysit .. working outside the house long hours.

Is he their Step Dad then?