Ffs! Im just trying to have a fucking conversation with you!

[Shouldershrugger]

Just tried to have a hypothetical lighthearted conversation with dh and ffs he's getting stressed out. Its always it too early or too tired for this convo! Shall I book an appoint with his highness??! It'd be nice to just have a conversation different to the usual monotonous crap! Urgh. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who struggles to get a chit chat convo out of their partners.

What was the conversation about?

Context is key, i think - what were you trying to talk about, and what was he doing when you started the convo?

I was just reading a post about sperm donation and I just asked how he would feel and he went off on one. Saying that it was too involved a convo to have at this time. But its like this often. I suppose the frustration has got the better of me

Tbh I only asked lightheartedly. It would be nice to have a talking bullocks convo with my dh for once.

How he would feel about donating it or how he would feel about you using it to conceive?

Omg I do this all the time! Read something on Mumsnet and start a convo along the lines of ... what would you think / do if I did / said xxx .... and in fairness it drives him mad! It's always something very alien to us (hence why I ask) and it requires him to think it through and offer a balanced opinion (because if he just answered off the cuff it could open a whole can of worms that he can't defend as in reality the situation would never occur to us) so I can see his point of view.

Is the real problem that conversation is boring between you two?

I dunno OP that doesn't sound lighthearted at all, it's a pretty heavy topic! I'm with your DH here.

Maybe try a different topic that is not as loaded and is borne from social media?

Lockdown fatigue is effecting us all, but I doubt sperm donation is a hot topic that most people would want to discuss other than those who are deeply involved in the issue, it is a very niche subject.

Is there fertility issues going on? Honestly l am so in the gutter with working, homeschool, fucking lockdown l just feel the need to not have to engage my brain at some points in the day and just relax! Maybe your DP feels the same?

My husband will often tell me he is just going into his own head for a while which is some rubbish phrase he picked up from a meme but there really is no come back to it - I can hardly continue to harass him for his views on sperm donation (for example) when he has clearly told me he needs some mental space .... although now that he has been made redundant and is therefor around a lot to help with DD I often go into my own head and won't let him ask me questions while I sip my coffee and read Mumsnet perhaps he needs to adopt such a phrase when the topics are too heavy for him?

YABU - you sound hinged! 😱

I love a lighthearted hypothetical chit chat and we spend hours knocking daft ideas around but is that what you were doing? Really? It sounds potentially a bit complicated. Maybe you and he have different ideas about conversation classification.

Honestly, I just wondered what his thoughts were. I was just curious. We don't have any fertility issues. I just miss the times when we were able to talk about everything and anything for hrs. Now all I get is an excuse to not talk. I guess it would be nice to talk about things in general again. I can't be the only one, am I?

Ask him whether he’d rather have hands for feet or feet for hands.

How on earth is it "unhinged" to ask your DP's opinion on a topical issue that interests you??

letmethinkaboutitfornow Presumably that's better than unhinged.

Annelovesgilbert that made me chuckle. I'll probably get told to book an appointment to have that conversation 😂

Doesn't sound like a lighthearted topic to me....

Yep, with you. I'm still searching for the magical ten minute slot in the day where DH is prepared to discuss anything remotely difficult or uncomfortable.

Yet another reason why I'll be glad to die alone; no one yap yap yapping on at me inanely

Of course YABU.

He has very important things to think about. He doesn't have to take time out of his busy schedule to talk to you. How ridiculous to expect it.

Hands up with the subject matter. It was obviously a more serious matter to him than it was for me. But it's his usual response whenever I try any other subject matter. I just miss the conversations we used to have.

Maybe rehearse it in your own head first to see if you feel like scratching your own eyes out

That's a joke on him by the way!!!!! He needs to get over himself

The ease of conversation I mean. Anything different to the runnings of domestic life is too much for him.