Ffs! Im just trying to have a fucking conversation with you!

[Shouldershrugger]

Just tried to have a hypothetical lighthearted conversation with dh and ffs he's getting stressed out. Its always it too early or too tired for this convo! Shall I book an appoint with his highness??! It'd be nice to just have a conversation different to the usual monotonous crap! Urgh. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who struggles to get a chit chat convo out of their partners.

@livefornaps

Yet another reason why I'll be glad to die alone; no one yap yap yapping on at me inanely

Amen!

Leave him alone!

YANBU OP

My husband hates this kind of thing

@livefornaps I agree about dying alone but for the opposite reason: that I'm not having to share my space with someone who won't have a conversation with me or who clearly finds my yapping annoying.

Oh my dp is the same. I cant have deep conversations really because he disagrees with me on most things and if i read aomething he always goes on about how it doesnt affect my life in any way so why would i want to talk about it. I dont know the answer sorry op. I just discuss these things with other people and just discuss more dull stuff with dp.

Ask him if he’d rather have penises for fingers or testicles for toes

Hmm I'm a bit half and half. If I've had a long day and a bit stressed I really need to switch my head off , read or watch TV etc and it is supremely annoying if DP starts interrupting me. We did realise at one point that we both did it to the other (we are annoyingly similar) and it simply came down to timing . We got our second winds at different times. We now know each others timing. So we act accordingly. Early evening is good for both of us, while I'm getting ready he often comes and has a chat with his coffee and we discuss anything form politics to random mumsnet threads , to his computer game or something one of us has read. However right before bed when we ar knackered never ends well.

OP you say this happens a lot (he might well be a grumpy git and then yanbu) but is it possible you are doing this at the same time each day which coincides with his downtime? Maybe compromise can be found ?

I ask dh stuff like this all the time. He's never snapped at me. People telling you to leave him alone are obviously not reading what you've said or are unhinged themselves. It's perfectly normal to have conversation with your partner which isn't 'have you put the bins out'.

How long has it been like this?

Ex DP was like this. We used to have long rambling discussions (usually in the pub) about anything and everything but after we had kids and he got tired and grumpy that dried up. What's the point of being with someone if they're always batting you off and can't be arsed to talk to you.

I do this all the time! I just want a chat! Most of the time DH will engage in the conversation.

@CustardySergeant

letmethinkaboutitfornow Presumably that's better than unhinged.

And that as well! 😂😂😂

Bananaorange i guess we've been like this for the last 5 years now. We've been together for 12 yrs now married for 8yrs. He keeps himself busy with his interest all weekend and goes for bike rides to clear his head. Im just asking for half hr of chit chat. Something different from me doing housework and looking after our children. Dh has plenty of down time. Its not like I pounce on him with my topics of conversation as soon as he sits down. I'm looking forward to starting work again.

Too many men think the kinds of conversations we like to have are no longer necessary after the courtship is over and the marriage begun.
It is a terrible disappointment to women who think they are marrying a friend & discover that he did not.

I getcha OP, you just want some company beyond issuing instructions to children. He sounds like a bit of a douchebag with the emotional depth of a teaspoon. Just start your own interests; art history, novel writing, needlework, Iron Woman, and if he asks what you're up to, say you had to "clear your head" from having such a boring man in your life, who brings on the zzzzzzs both at the dinner table....and in the bedroom.

Oh I don't know. I hate it when I'm blissed out after a long tiring day and watching telly or MNing or reading and DH decides to interrupt what I'm doing by making an announcement about something he's read on the news and wanting to have a big long discussion about it. I feel like just saying I really don't care, but that would be v rude.

@SuperMumTum, that's really nice you found someone. I mean that sincerely!! I love happy couples. I just don't want to risk getting it wrong and wanting to hammer my head against the wall out of pure frustration

You definitely want hands for feet btw

Definitely hands for feet - just asked my DP. Really fucking useful he reckons, definitely would have it now if he could 🤣

I have to admit that I love hypotheticals. My friends and I can discuss 'possibilities' for hours. My DH hates them. He's great at discussing politics, the weather, current events, or other 'concrete' subjects. But ask him 'Would you rather....." or "What would you do if....." and he just rolls his eyes and says "I'd rather neither" or "I wouldn't" to shut down my mental meanderings.

Maybe your DH is that way too?

My dh says he’s not interested in most of the stuff I have to say. If I read him something from mumsnet he puts his hand up and tells me he’s not interested in “that crap” He’s a rude pig.

The ex I recently dumped had very little to say. I refused to go on nights out with him because it was as dull as dishwater. Thank god that's over.

Boredtotears11 I'm sorry you have to put up that treatment. I truly am. Sending you a virtual hug.

I'm actually with the OP on this one. I would LOVE it if my DH wanted to ask me ANY kind of question. He never boggles my mind

Thanks Shouldershrugger I feel very lonely right now, it’s just me and him, but I might as well be on my own.

Hands for feet for sure.

I could think and talk in hypotheticals for days. Hence the name 😊