AIBU by not being convinced about moving to Ireland?

[Shedbuilder]

My partner's grandparents were born in Ireland and so she's been able to obtain an Irish passport. I'm English. We're very pro-EU and horrified by Brexit and we hate the current government and direction the UK is taking. We're wondering about putting our money where our mouths are and moving to Ireland. Our parents are all dead, we don't have children, we're on good terms, but not particularly close, to our siblings and their families. We'd plan to come back and visit friends and family in the UK several times a year and we've factored in the cost of doing that.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney and she also has some family over there already. I wouldn't know anyone. I also worry about what it would be like to be noticeably English in Ireland. I'm not at all posh but I sound a bit Radio 4.

I'm concerned that my partner has some pretty romantic ideas about Ireland. She expects it to be so much better than England. She's just been ranting at the far righters Nazi-saluting at the cenotaph and saying proudly that it wouldn't happen in Ireland. I made the mistake of replying no, it wouldn't happen in Ireland because Ireland stayed neutral during WW2 and then for years persecuted and scapegoated the Irish men and women who volunteered to fight Hitler. That didn't go down well.

The area we would be looking at is probably somewhere within a five-mile radius of Enniscorthy and within relatively easy reach of Wexford and Dublin. Also close to the Rosslare ferry and the coast. The property in that area seems excellent value for money: currently looking at a spacious 4-year-old four-bedroom house on an acre, well away from neighbours, and with a separate double garage and a barn for under £300,000.

We know we'll have to have private medical insurance. We know that we'll have a lot of learning to do and that the chances are I'll be an outsider for the rest of my life. As a lesbian I'm used to that. I'm also aware that Ireland has its own issues around transgender and women's rights, but they seem no worse than they are here.

So tell me, would you move to Ireland if you could?

*no craic for not going along with it.

@twixes, that's so kind of you to say and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I really wanted to love Ireland and my job! Here's hoping there are more people like you around than I've come across yet.

We also did the great place to work annonymous survey and got 95% on question ‘I feel included here regardless of my race/sexuality’

Surely the basic assumption under that question is that there are reasons someone might not feel included, the implication that race or sexuality might receive a negative reaction on the part of the majority?

Asking a question doesn't always anticipate a negative response, math

@SarahAndQuack just want to chime in with what @Twixes said - I’m sorry your experience is being dismissed and I believe you.

There can be a frustrating attitude from some people - usually those who are not gay/black/non irish - who think because they don’t see/hear/think these things that they no longer exist, as part of the ‘aren’t we a great little country all the same’ pride they have in THEIR experience of life in Ireland.

Anyone who thinks homophobia or racism in Ireland is rare or hidden or down to the bad attitude of the person on the end of it, should look at the twitter timeline or google interviews with Colm O Gorman, who works for Amnesty.
He’s an openly gay man in a long term relationship, with two adopted non-white children, who lives in Gorey. The ongoing and vitriolic abuse he gets for those things is disgusting.
And this is a man who loves and advocates for Ireland, not someone who can be dismissed as having a ‘bad attitude’, a know it all emigrant or told to ‘go back where you came from if you don’t like it, we don’t want you’.

It's not a case of anticipation of a negative response.

Underlying that question is assumption that someone's race or sexuality might have negative repercussions.

When straight white people in Ireland say they feel 'included here' regardless of race/ sexuality, what exactly does that signify?

The question is directed at the minority who are not straight or white.

Thanks, @Starsabove1, that's really kind. And also very sad what you say about those abusive comments.

Oh yes, of course, couldn't possibly be homophobia in the culture, could there?

I don't know why ( I know you're alluding to homophobia being part of the culture in Ireland) but the horrible case of the man who was kicked to death in London by three teenagers (a Secondary school pupil among them) sprung to mind. You don't imagine such viciousness towards being gay as part of the culture in such a large and cosmopolitan city as London. Or in England. Yet, that man was pushed and kicked to death as he walked along with his partner. All the while the assailants were yelling homophobic slurs at him.

www.theguardian.com/uk/2011/jan/26/ruby-thomas-sentenced-fatal-homophobic-attack

I am very well aware the UK has a homophobic culture too.

Please don't imagine I am trying to find a sneaky way of pretending it doesn't.

But, you know ... actually, I do imagine these things as part of the culture of a lot of cities. I don't know why people think we've left homophobia behind. We haven't.