AIBU by not being convinced about moving to Ireland?

[Shedbuilder]

My partner's grandparents were born in Ireland and so she's been able to obtain an Irish passport. I'm English. We're very pro-EU and horrified by Brexit and we hate the current government and direction the UK is taking. We're wondering about putting our money where our mouths are and moving to Ireland. Our parents are all dead, we don't have children, we're on good terms, but not particularly close, to our siblings and their families. We'd plan to come back and visit friends and family in the UK several times a year and we've factored in the cost of doing that.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney and she also has some family over there already. I wouldn't know anyone. I also worry about what it would be like to be noticeably English in Ireland. I'm not at all posh but I sound a bit Radio 4.

I'm concerned that my partner has some pretty romantic ideas about Ireland. She expects it to be so much better than England. She's just been ranting at the far righters Nazi-saluting at the cenotaph and saying proudly that it wouldn't happen in Ireland. I made the mistake of replying no, it wouldn't happen in Ireland because Ireland stayed neutral during WW2 and then for years persecuted and scapegoated the Irish men and women who volunteered to fight Hitler. That didn't go down well.

The area we would be looking at is probably somewhere within a five-mile radius of Enniscorthy and within relatively easy reach of Wexford and Dublin. Also close to the Rosslare ferry and the coast. The property in that area seems excellent value for money: currently looking at a spacious 4-year-old four-bedroom house on an acre, well away from neighbours, and with a separate double garage and a barn for under £300,000.

We know we'll have to have private medical insurance. We know that we'll have a lot of learning to do and that the chances are I'll be an outsider for the rest of my life. As a lesbian I'm used to that. I'm also aware that Ireland has its own issues around transgender and women's rights, but they seem no worse than they are here.

So tell me, would you move to Ireland if you could?

Please don’t bother.

We have enough whiners here already.

What issues about women's rights? 🤔

Based on your comments to your dp about Ireland, I'd say stay where you are. Being English is not an issue in Ireland. There are loads here. However, the fact you aren't allowing your complete lack of understanding of history and why ireland stayed neutral stand in the way of drawing negative conclusions suggest you may not fit in. Add that to your stereotypical caricaturisng of the Irish in your second paragraph and it simply reinforces my opinion.

You would be an outsider because of your attitude rather than your sexuality or race. Don’t move to Ireland when you have a such low opinion of the Irish people.

Sounds like neither you nor your partner actually know anything about life in Ireland. Not everyone has 'the blarney' , not everyone is anti-English although some certainly are. Most people wouldn't blink at you being in a same sex partnership. I left Ireland age 20 and wouldn't move back, but only because UK is home to me now, and I share your views about Brexit and the direction the country is going in generally

Maybe spend a lot more time in the country before you even consider moving there. Lots of people have a very romantic/ stereotyped view of Ireland. It's like any other country- there are good things and shit things

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney

What now?

I’m sure you’d be fine. My family are from that area and you won’t have any more problem being gay there than you would in any small town in the U.K. I have three gay cousins in the county who are all ‘out’ without any issues.

I think you need to rethink your opinions about Irish attitudes towards men who fought in the English Army during the war. My granddad did and three of his younger brothers joined up after the war (one of whom still lives in Wexford). It was very common back then because of financial necessity. In fact there is one street in Wexford town where every house lost at least family member during the war - my memory is that they were all in the Navy, but that could be wrong.

Wexford property prices are very high for Ireland. If you go further West you’d get more for your money.

Ugh, don't move here. You've no understanding of the history of the country or what the people are actually like.

Wow: you're really selling Ireland as a friendly and welcoming country to live, I must say.

I don't have a low opinion of Irish people at all, or any people. FFS, I've lived for 30 years with someone who considers herself Irish, despite what it says on her birth certificate.

I was hoping to hear from people from other countries who'd settled in Ireland and could reassure me that my fears were groundless. I mentioned that my partner is gregarious and has an easy way with words (she uses the word Blarney about herself by the way, so you won't be welcoming her, presumably) because I admire those things and don't share them and wish I did because they seem to make it easier to make friends and feel included. But okey-dokey, I consider myself told.

I run a business and will be taking that wherever we go, so maybe another European country will want me for the jobs I'll create and discount the fact that I'm a terrible person!

You lost me at 'she has the blarney'. Stereotypical, much

I'm an English woman who has lived in Ireland for many years, my DH is Irish. You don't seem to understand that Ireland isn't another England across the sea, it's culturally a totally different place.

As you can see from here a lot of Irish people get very defensive and angry if you ever insinuate that life there is less than absolutely perfect. I’ve seen it in thread after thread - and not just this forum. I’ve done a lot of research on moving to Ireland as with both my parents born and bred there I have applied for an Irish passport and for my ds Just so that we have the option- that also seems to anger a lot of Mumsnet members oddly 🤔
Anyway I’m not convinced that we would be happy there with the level of bitterness and resentment that I see on the internet towards the English. Perhaps it’s different in real life but that’s a big gamble to take. I have many relatives there, too many to count! But even so...
Oh and both my parents left Ireland to fight for the allies in the Second World War and yes that didn’t go down well back home.

you need to rethink your opinions about Irish attitudes towards men who fought in the English Army during the war

British.

And a lot of Irish men were ostracised for joining up, why are you pretending that they weren't?

OP, don't come to MN AIBU for pleasant advice. You might be better asking in the craicnet thread.

Wow: you're really selling Ireland as a friendly and welcoming country to live, I must say.

I’m sorry, were you under the impression the Irish are so desperate to provide a home for ill informed English people that they have all signed up to a be part of a promotional campaign?

@Shedbuilder - Wow: you're really selling Ireland as a friendly and welcoming country to live, I must say.

And you're selling yourself as ignorant of the country you claim you want to settle in and stereotyping in a way that is typical of a particular type of English person. I think if you carry similar stereotypes and attitudes for any other country, you're unlikely to receive a warm welcome there either.

Wow: you're really selling Ireland as a friendly and welcoming country to live, I must say.

It's not our job to sell it to you! If you make a stupid statement you can expect to be called on it.

I would say that there is some mild anti-English sentiment here. There is also a strong slagging culture though and sometimes foreigners don't quite get that.

Wow: you're really selling Ireland as a friendly and welcoming country to live, I must say

That. Is. Not. Our. Job.

I just get really sick of the attitude from so many Brits. You lot voted for Brexit, don’t want “foreigners” in your countries, and then expect other countries to sell themselves to you when you get sick of Britain.

There are brilliant things about Ireland that many of us would love to tell you about, but starting a goady post of lazy stereotypes and historical inaccuracy isn’t going to win you many fans.

@AfterSchoolWorry

Issues like the right to bodily autonomy.

I would suggest moving to a very large town, or a city. More of a chance to make friends of your own and get involved in hobbies and activities. You’ll only be an outsider if you isolate yourself.

I don’t think your nationality will prevent people from warming to you , so long as you don’t attempt to lecture people about their own country’s history. Irish culture is different to British culture, so be sensitive to that too.

I honestly have never heard of the ‘blarney’ but from the context I’m presuming you mean the so called Irish ‘gift of the gab ’? Irish people can be introverts or extroverts, humble or proud.

My opinion, generally speaking is that people in small towns can be very nosey/ friendly ( depending on how you see it), but that applies in the UK too.

You don’t really need to be close to Ferry, unless you are commuting weekly, so choose your location based on what the area has to offer you both. I don’t know Wexford, so can’t comment on what Enniscorthy is like.

There is a good quality of life to be had in Ireland, but consider the pros and cons of the area you are moving to without rose tinted glasses.

The cost of living is higher, so you should factor in how much disposable income you will have for eating out, hobbies etc.

And a lot of Irish men were ostracised for joining up, why are you pretending that they weren't?

Yes, they were. But understanding the reasons for that, as well as the reasons for Ireland's neutrality is important when commenting.

I’ve heard if you own clogs you’ll love Holland

Or perhaps you partake in flamenco dancing or a weekend?

^thats how ridiculous you sound with your blarney shite.

On behalf of the Irish, please stay where you are.

We are a welcoming country with people who actually want to be here, and not look down their noses at us.

It would suit your partner well as she has the blarney??

flattering or wheedling talk; cajolery. deceptive or misleading talk; nonsense; hooey: a lot of blarney about why he was broke.

I don't see how this would help her fit in anywhere?

I live in a very rural part of Ireland and I don't know anyone here that would have a problem with a British person, or a lesbian, or even a British lesbian :)
You're attitude on the other hand....

'You lot voted for Brexit, don’t want “foreigners” in your countries, '

The OP didnt vote for Brexit, and neither did I, so steady on

@Lottapianos

'You lot voted for Brexit, don’t want “foreigners” in your countries, '

The OP didnt vote for Brexit, and neither did I, so steady on

Do you know the meaning of “lot”?

The majority of British voters voted for Brexit.

I’m British living in Ireland a many, many years. I don’t ever post on here, but wanted to add my piece - for what it’s worth. OP, I’d advise you to stay where you are or, if you do come here, prepare to keep your mouth closed as you cannot dare criticise Ireland at any level about anything without more of the same vitriol you’ve seen here so far on this thread. And don’t think after decades here, you’ll be counted as a native. I’ve found that if you're English you won’t be tolerated. Lots of anti English here so brace yourself. Sorry I’m also not selling it to you. I’m just being honest. If I’d had known what it would be like for me, and I’ve spent over 30 years here, I’d never have come. Met lots of nice people here (it’s by no means everyone) but enough arseholes to outweigh the good quite honestly. And I keep my opinions to myself. God help any blow in that doesn’t.
It’s been a big regret but I can’t go home.
If you do move, don’t burn bridges at home.
Sorry op - it’s not the land of 1000 welcomes.

I wouldn't worry about being a lesbian couple in Wexford, nowadays.

One of the things about Ireland that is different from England is that it can be harder to make friends. Although the Irish are generally more gregarious, I'm not sure they're more friendly.

It's a small country and most people have friends from when they were teenagers and college/uni and it can be difficult to meet new people. I think England, as a bigger country with a more mobile population, particularly moving for uni and then work, is an easier place to make new friends well into adulthood.

I think your comment about Irish neutrality and the treatment of British army veterans is perceptive and pretty much spot on.

I wouldn't want to move to Ireland with someone who had those kinds of romantic bullshit ideas about the country, and I'm Irish.

Ireland is a very conformist society. I don't know where you stand on the transgender issue, but if you are gender critical you will find yourself in an even more hostile situation than in the UK.

Irish feminism is very excited about TWAW and there is a strong current of anti-English sentiment that goes along with that.

I could move to Ireland, but I don't want to.