There is no such thing as "the terrible twos"?

[maybemaybeII]

Not a TAAT but there is an active thread about how parenting a toddler is hard and many parents leave their child in the cot and just walk out for 5minutes to get a breather because they can't cope.

I have two toddlers of different ages, very close age gap, but have never yelled at them or put them in "time out", or felt the need to walk away from them because they're misbehaving and driving me crazy. They've never drawn on the walls, or poured a packet of flour on the flour, or gone in to my makeup bag and destroyed my lipstick.. all the stuff you see on Instagram from time to time with a caption "toddlers are dicks/arseholes".

I'm not a perfect mum, my toddlers are currently watching Hey Duggee and about to have pain au chocolat's for breakfast (!!), and yes it is absolutely exhausting having a toddler, but AIBU to think some of the blame with badly behaved toddlers does in fact lie with the parent and "terrible twos" in bullshit? Getting my tin hat on!

I thought you were going to say 2 and 3. I would wait until they are both older before you are smug. It's very very early days!!!!

Oh well done darling, you must be so proud! I don't sedate mine with the telly, or bribe them with junk food. Probably does make it a bit harder, but I think it's better for their development you do you though!

Oh, I missed the bit where your eldest is 2.5. Bless your heart.

literally lol. This is so sanctimonious.
I've got two children age 5 and 7. I am very lucky because neither child is particularly hot-headed or difficult however they were both absolute little terrors between 1.5 and 2.5. It is the exact age where they understand exactly what you said, but have no sense of reasoning so fly off the handle multiple times a day. I've definitely popped them in a cot and walked away for 5 minutes or begged my mum to have them for an hour! If karma is real one of your kids just drew all over the walls while you were typing your op.

I missed the bit about having a pain au chocolate and being babysat by the telly. Of course they're compliant if you give them what they want, I wouldn't judge you if you hadn't judged others, but here we are.

I agree two is ok. But three is awful. Come back in a year's time OP. Good luck!

Oh dear OP...you do realise that this post is going to come back and bite you in the arse in the future.

monseratty older DC rejected the pain au choc and is now having a banana instead 🤷🏼‍♀️ It's also a treat, they don't eat croissants for breakfast everyday 🙄

To the poster whose child is hitting them, hitting their dog etc., that sort of behaviour is acceptable in your house?

Apparently, going through phases such as ‘the terrible twos’ so young is a sign of great intelligence. #justsayin’

Wow OP you’re Amazing!!!

What you meant to say was "there is no such thing as terrible twos for me".

All children are different. One of mine was fine at two but quite a handful at three - a "threenager" - then fine since. The other had horrific tantrums from 18 months and still has them now and again aged 7. Haven't parented them any differently.

Pride comes before a fall ......2 years doesn’t really count as hugely experienced in the roll as parent . But well done on a super induction period 😉

Mine is only 8 months so I can't really comment, but I just had to point out that your youngest isn't close to 2 yet, so not sure why you're being so smug? Hope it doesn't come back to bite you in the arse!

The concept of ‘the terrible twos’ doesn’t hold across different cultures so I’d think that it was more a product of the particular culture we live in rather than something intrinsic to child development. Child rearing here happens in a very insular environment, even in normal times, with children and parents alone together in the home for long periods.

Well there's a goady first post for me to read today. Yep - we didn't have the terrible 2s here - we've had the torturous threes and are half way through the furious fours. You've been lucky so far. You may continue to be lucky. That does not alter other people's lived experience of children, any more than my child sleeping through at 1 year invalidates everyone else's being awake until midnight until they hit puberty. Children are different.

*Oh well done darling, you must be so proud! I don't sedate mine with the telly, or bribe them with junk food. Probably does make it a bit harder, but I think it's better for their development you do you though!

So you'd prefer to just yell at them all day everyday instead of letting them have 30min of telly?

We never had tantrums but DS2 did throw eggs on the floor (he liked watching them smash) and drew on the walls. I never saw that as terrible twos as he was 3,4,5,6. DS1 (one yr older) never did anything like that. To me The kids who do all the things you talk about are inquisitive and want to explore. It feels funny drawing on walls compared to paper and who wouldn’t want to see flour floating or flying through the air? I Would rather have a spirited child who is interested in things than one who sits quietly all the time (sometimes would be nice tho)

I didn't find the twos that bad, both of mine were quite sweet at two.

Three year olds though...three year olds are actual goblins. You couldn't pay me enough to parent another 3 year old.

All those saying brace yourself for the future, I'm ready! This is specifically about toddlers which I'm not finding difficult.

I might come back in a year with a different OP 😂

So you'd prefer to just yell at them all day everyday instead of letting them have 30min of telly?

Thing is op, no one actually cares if your kids watch telly. But you have come on here to judge everyone whose 2 year old has tantrums or does the occasional silly thing and branded it as bad parenting, so you're gonna get judged back.

To the poster whose child is hitting them, hitting their dog etc., that sort of behaviour is acceptable in your house?

Yep. That’s exactly what that poster said! She used it as an example of how her child behaves and didn’t mention at all how she deals with it. I didn’t explain how I dealt with my DD’s behaviour either. Most on this thread didn’t.

Now I 100% think you’re being goady.

The judgey pants and hoiked up quite far, are n’t they OP?

DD was lovely. So lovely. And then she turned 3. The last year has been a challenge. I love her but she is very, very wearing to be around if she is in the wrong mood.

Mothers complaining about this to each other is a way of venting so you don’t say it to them. I would never tell DD how much she winds me up sometimes.

Some children have stronger hormone surges and so find it more difficult to manage their emotions. Perhaps it’s linked to intelligence?

You probably also haven’t met what DH and I refer to as the’Why bird’ yet. I love DD but there are only so many Mastermind style questions about elephants that I can answer while trying to have a shower 😂

Ha ha good luck op. Their time will come. I hope you keep this post and look back on it and cringe.

Dts didn't hit the terrible twos but fuck me something went wrong at 4-41/2. Some friends have angels until the became tweens, others teenagers.

Just because you haven’t experienced a phenomenon doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, OP. I’ve never seen the northern lights but I’m not refusing to believe they’re real.

My ds2 was awful from day one almost!
Ds1 was much more chilled , even at two.
We're all different and so are children.
I've had friends with children like yours and they were so lucky. I was so envious.
Children are hard work.