Am I the only person who doesn't know any trans people?

[LaureBerthaud]

Non goady question.

I don't know any, work with any or come across any trans people. Now it could be that they've done such a good job of transitioning that I don't notice, but where are they?

It’s also pretty transphobic to refer as a trans person as being ‘intact’. People are whole, intact and valid humans regardless of their genitals and whether or not they have had surgery. It’s inappropriate to discuss a trans person’s body the way you would discuss an animal.

@Smallsteps88 thank you!

I can see the point of sharing women only spaces but with males but at some point they become women (they have to go through so much) so I just look at them as an ordinary women really and therefore wouldn’t feel threatened, also with sport they have to go through so much testing which I think makes it fair.

@MiniatureHero

It’s also pretty transphobic to refer as a trans person as being ‘intact’. People are whole, intact and valid humans regardless of their genitals and whether or not they have had surgery. It’s inappropriate to discuss a trans person’s body the way you would discuss an animal.

It is useful to confirm if a person has medically altered their body or is physically the same sex as at birth surely?

[quote Butterfly3105]@Smallsteps88 thank you!

I can see the point of sharing women only spaces but with males but at some point they become women (they have to go through so much) so I just look at them as an ordinary women really and therefore wouldn’t feel threatened, also with sport they have to go through so much testing which I think makes it fair.[/quote]
I’m afraid you’re wrong. Makes don’t ever become women. Not at any point. With sport- what testing is it you think males have to go through to allow them to compete in female teams or against females?

Yes do tell about the sport testing that laurel Hubbard went through - I’d love to know

Ditto Kent’s female cricketer of the year Maxine blythin who can still be found playing men’s cricket under the name of max

Or indeed Kelly ‘folding the opposition like deckchairs’ Morgan playing women’s rugby

I only know one, who is a teenager. Pretty classic - came out as a lesbian, was diagnosed with Asperger's, then began to identify as male. As regards the 'where are they?' question, you would walk by this person in the street without noticing as he dresses from head to toe in black, same as he did before identifying as male. He quite honestly doesn't look any different.

I know a lot of teenagers (through my children), so yes, I know a few.

I only know one who is a similar age to me - and to be honest I haven't seen her since she was a he, as I moved away from the area we lived in.

I've only ever met one trans person in my life. She worked at the job centre and was lovely.

I work with a TW and dd knows a TG at school. A friend has a dc who is a TW.

Oh the testing is just to make sure their testosterone levels are lower.

It doesn't take account of their male bodies, that were developed at puberty, giving them bigger hearts, stronger muscles, heavier bones, larger lungs, more cardiac output etc. It also doesn't bring their testosterone down to within female "normal range".

Male: 10.41 to 34.70 nanomoles per liter (nmol/L)
Female: 0.52 to 2.43 nmol/L.

The IAAF originally said that trans women had to register a level of

I’ve known a few through work, all MtF all middle aged and all lovely

There is a middle aged mtf in the small town near where I live who dresses in mini skirts and stockings and seems to delight in trying to shock ppl.

It is useful to confirm if a person has medically altered their body or is physically the same sex as at birth surely?

It might be useful in some contexts (such as a trans person discussing their medical history with their doctor) but I fail to see how it is relevant to this poster’s comment, which seems to exist purely to cast aspersions about their acquaintance’s sex life. And even if it does need discussed, using the word ‘intact’, which is almost exclusively used in the context of whether an animal has been neutered or not, is dehumanising.

There is a child in my son’s school who identifies as transgender, they are around the age of 7.

I previously worked with a young transwoman and sadly her mental health seemed very poor, think inappropriate behaviour and drugs references at an otherwise tame Christmas office party, posting all sorts of things on social media advertising herself as a prostitute and oversharing inappropriately about her sex life to colleagues and then turning on people who expressed worry about her. She left in the end, I’m not sure what she’s doing now.

I also had a client, an ex prisoner who identified as a woman. I believe they went back to prison. Mental health also very poor.

'This is a good example of covert transphobia; implying something is off or underhand when a trans person does it, when it’s actually considered pretty normal behaviour for non trans people.'

Yup! A 20 year old having consensual sex with similar aged adults is hardly something to write home about. And they have to be 'woke' do they to have sex with someone they find attractive just because that person happens to be trans? Did it occur to you that they might just fancy them the way they might fancy anyone, trans or not?

Yes, I know one in her forties, I don't overly like her she's clearly has autism as huge lack of social skill s but is also very arrogant extremely intelligent to be fair. I really don't care about the trans thing I like a person or dislike them for how they behave not how the catagorise one's self.

@BanginChoons

I would say your child is definitely male and appears to be full of three same male entitlement. Speaking as the mother of boys you really need to get on that, its our responsibility to try and ensure our sons do not grow up to be misogynists. I don't blame your child for their sexism and disregard for females, but I blame you for indulging it. Your child has the right to define their own reality but they do not get to define the reality of a woman on the Internet nor do they get to dismiss my reality or indeed the lived reality of 3.5 billion people on the planet.

As to the op, i have known 2 transpeople in my life. One mtf and one ftm. I knew them both prior and after to transition.

The mtf is just a quiet person, goes about their life in peace. Freely acknowledges that they are a transwoman and tries to respect other people's boundaries. Opposes self ID and the colonialisation of women's spaces. Wants a third space.

The ftm I no longer speak too anymore. After transition became extremely entitled and aggressive. Your typical Internet TRA, complete with insults for not obeying them. Its a shame I always felt sorry for them at university as they were gay and clearly struggling with that. We lost contact when they accused me of child abuse because I refused to label my 4 year old as transgender because they liked to play with the baby dollies and the toy kitchen. I prefer to leave my child to it and let them be who they are.

I know one. Our ndn at my parent's house. They're MTF, older, been trans for over 20 years. I don't remember them ever 'not being' iyswim. They're very vulnerable. DM often gives them some money to help tide them over.
Tbh it's why so much of the current trans activism pisses me off. It's not going to help our neighbour. It's not addressing their abusive relationship. It's not helping them to access medical support.

We know 3. If I’m honest most of them seem to have transitioned from serious men in their 40/50/60s to giggling girls. We were setting up for an exhibition and the trans women was the only person to turn up in heels and a skirt. She struggled to move tables due to lack of strength and made various uncomfortable jokes about bending over and being on her knees. Most interactions involve an uncomfortable comment which she never did as a male. It’s all harmless now it’s “girl chat”.

My husbands HR department sent an email to everyone announcing a male employee was now a she and her new name would be xxx starting Monday. So on Friday he was using the male showers, changing rooms and toilet and on Monday she was using the female showers and changing rooms. Women aren’t so keen to cycle and run to work now.

I live 3 streets away from a university so I see a lot of trans/non binary people walking to and from uni. I don’t know what they are. I can tell they are male but I’m not sure if wearing a skirt makes you a she, him or they.

I know a few butch lesbians in their 40s who would probably pass as trans men but they don’t consider themselves anything but female.

Yes, being on the gay scene I see quite a range of presentations of identities. Some people may dress / behave in ways more typically expected for the other sex but are quite happy in their identity as gay women or men, others have transitioned and consider themselves straight. (I'm not trying to conflate sexuality with gender identity, but the reality is there can be a lot of crossover)

I also know some that have transitioned and before transitioning were attracted to the opposite sex, and after transitioning they are now attracted to the same sex (ie. the object of their attraction remains the same but of course they are gay/straight depending on their own sex identity), but mostly it is the other way around.

In my role I occasionally work with older teenagers who are transitioning or in the process of trying to, and they are all from female to male at the moment. They are all lovely people; one I'm a little concerned about as they have ASD and other difficulties including a traumatic childhood, and I can't help but wonder if they are pinning their hopes on this as an explanation and solution for the complex feelings they have.

As a gay woman at age of 41 I do look at them and wonder if they had been growing up 20 / 30 years ago would they have been content to express themselves as more tomboyish lesbians, but you can never really know what someone's own personal experience is.

And I have another friend who is in her mid 50s and has accepted her biology reluctantly, but who looks at youngsters today and only wishes she had the opportunity to be young again - she would have transitioned in a shot, but wouldn't now due to health concerns. She has struggled to have intimate relationships because she feels at odds with her own body - I guess that might have been different for her had she transitioned at a young age.

Oh, and if non-binary counts then DS knows a girl (13) who has changed her name, uses they/them pronouns and says she is non-binary.
Of course with the definition of non-binary, I think every woman I know is nb. No-one identifies with sexist stereotypes and chooses oppression.

@MiniatureHero

It is useful to confirm if a person has medically altered their body or is physically the same sex as at birth surely?

It might be useful in some contexts (such as a trans person discussing their medical history with their doctor) but I fail to see how it is relevant to this poster’s comment, which seems to exist purely to cast aspersions about their acquaintance’s sex life. And even if it does need discussed, using the word ‘intact’, which is almost exclusively used in the context of whether an animal has been neutered or not, is dehumanising.

Quite. In most other contexts it is simply nobody else's business what they've done with their body provided they haven't used it to assault or threaten anyone.

I have a super close friend I've known since I was a child who's female to male. Super unhappy, almost perverse and bratty.

I knew someone who was mtf, it was a miserable situation as it was obvious he had massive issues with being gay and had been rejected by his family. After surgery they were still rejected by their family. She seemed hugely disappointed that she wasn’t attractive to heterosexual men and seemed to think they would be falling over her. She now dresses like a man again but obviously had all the surgery.

I worked with someone whose husband transitioned. They had given up work and just hid in the house. They have 3 teenage children but the husband is too embarrassed to go out so they never go anywhere now.

I don't know any personally, but I was ill a few years ago and one of the nurses was a transwoman. She was the nicest nurse out of all of them, and really talked through my treatment with me, and was just really lovely. Of course if I had been having an intimate procedure done and specifically asked for a female, I would not have been happy for it to have been done by this nurse, and hopefully this nurse being as lovely as she was, would not expect to carry out the procedure as 'a female' either.

There is also a transwoman who works in my local supermarket. Again I have only ever seen her getting on with her job as the rest of the staff do.

Obviously I dont know either of these people personally, so I don't know if they are of the 'I'm a woman because I say I am and if you disagree you can suck my dick' persuasion.

I knew one F2M, a good friend of my DS. When he was still a girl he started a relationship with another friend of my DS, a boy who definitely considered himself heterosexual. They made a nice couple. Then when he decided to transition aged around 17, they remained a couple. They went to the same university and last I saw them they were living together and he had started some medical transitioning, had had mastectomies and was taking hormones, his voice had deepened. He wore fairly baggy male clothes. His partner still insists he doesn’t think of himself as gay, he’s just in love with with his partner.

They are an unconventional couple, but very sweet and gentle and both are extraordinarily bright. DS hasn’t seen them for a year or so, new job then coronavirus. I hope things work out for them both.