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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sorry for woman who believe their lip fillers make them more attractive??

515 replies

Starcup · 12/06/2020 15:18

It’s not really AIBU as it’s my opinion but anyway...

I was at work yesterday and a young woman came in and clear as day had lip fillers. I was looking thinking , I can not understand why people pay to have this done. It looks awful.

You can tell straight away that they’ve had fillers

I assume slightly enhancing them can be a positive in some cases, but some just go too far until they look like comedy lips and over do it.

I was just looking thinking, I bet that woman looked more appealing and attractive to the average person with her own, natural lips!

I felt sorry for her that she was thinking that would make her more attractive....

I dread my DD growing up seeing these imagines and finding them beautiful.

OP posts:
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20
NoMoreDickheads · 12/06/2020 21:43

Yanbu, they look shit and fake

@Whenwillthisbeover Ah, but decent ones you wouldn't be able to know had been done, to know what the good ones look like and form an informed judgment, IYSWIM.

immediately noticed she'd had filler in her cheeks, botox and lip fillers.

@Tappering It really does depend on the practitioner, or maybe if the person chooses to have too much/too often IDK.

I don't get it. We (women) are legion and we could knock this male gaze and stipulation into a cocked hat if we wanted to

Not really. Because patriarchy/male dominance, controlling the media etc.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 12/06/2020 21:48

I get that it doesn't make sense to you, Starcup, why would it? I mean, you're the one who started quite a mean-spirited thread, doing a volte face about half-way through to put a different slant on it.

Look at the posters who have called this work 'looks shit' 'fake' , 'tarty' (and that was at a child, ffs). That's what these threads always achieve. It wasn't laudable, calling-out the pressure that women are under to meet certain 'standards'; there are a few posters on the thread though who have said that, they always do and good on them. The rest are doing exactly what I believe the intention was.

I'll leave you to it now. As you say, you have the right to blurt out whatever opinion you have. So do I, I've said what I think and I've nothing else to add. I loath threads like this.

motherheroic · 12/06/2020 21:54

Imagine how shit and unfulfilling your life must be to be an adult talking crap about a 14 year old stranger. Sad.

letsjustallbenice · 12/06/2020 22:03

It looks very painful when people have it done, the thought of having a needle put in your lips ouch! and what is the benefit of it i am not sure to keep up with other womens lips? idk i think it is a shame that women cant see that their own lips suit them best, it is part of their charactor

Fluffybutter · 12/06/2020 22:05

Yanbu . Anyone with obvious lip fillers looks ridiculous

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 12/06/2020 22:27

YANBU in the slightest. Some women you see on the telly with them look truly hideous!

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 12/06/2020 22:35

I don't like my top lip, it's really thin and my bottom one is full. It looks odd.......I wouldn't go all stabby on it tho. It never ends well.

To feel sorry for woman who believe their lip fillers make them more attractive??
TiptopJ · 12/06/2020 22:48

Im also torn on this.

I agree with your concerns OP around women being fed the idea that theres a certain standard of beauty that only cosmetic surgery can achieve and I do think we should be encouraging our daughters to be confident enough in their natural appearance.

On the other hand- I also think the over filled pumped up look you're referring to is just a trend and altering, enhancing or even mutilating ones appearance in the name of fashion isnt a new trend. It's something humans have done to themselves for various reasons throughout our entire history in every corner of the world and of all the things weve done to ourselves lip fillers are quite mild and if they make someone happy or more confident why should that concern me.

But...that then takes me back to my first point because when you look at the majority of these body changes for fashion most of them (although not all) are at the expense of womens natural appearance.

So yeah, I'm torn.

TheMurk · 12/06/2020 22:53

There’s a young girl at my work who has filler in more often than she should and the result looks almost painful. It also gives her this twisted sneer that is worse when she smiles.

It’s a horrible trend that (like eyebrows) will swing the complete opposite way soon.

And anyone who thinks it can be done so subtly you can’t tell is kidding themselves. It’s as plain as the nose on your face.

Ineedcoffee2345 · 12/06/2020 22:58

I have lip fillers and botox. I dont have massive lips i get 0.5ml people know and i dont give a shit Grin makes me feel good and doesnt affect your life.

Starcup · 12/06/2020 23:12

**I get that it doesn't make sense to you, Starcup, why would it? I mean, you're the one who started quite a mean-spirited thread, doing a volte face about half-way through to put a different slant on it.

Look at the posters who have called this work 'looks shit' 'fake' , 'tarty' (and that was at a child, ffs). That's what these threads always achieve. It wasn't laudable, calling-out the pressure that women are under to meet certain 'standards'; there are a few posters on the thread though who have said that, they always do and good on them. The rest are doing exactly what I believe the intention was.

I'll leave you to it now. As you say, you have the right to blurt out whatever opinion you have. So do I, I've said what I think and I've nothing else to add. I loath threads like this**

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Well judging by the majority of responses, most people think the same as me- that women get fillers and generally the consensus is they look unattractive and they’d look much better without them.

People at my work are the same as me and think and wonder why? Why would a lovely looking young woman do that to her face? 🤦‍♀️

The irony is they think it looks lovely and enhances their face when in fact, the reality is most people think ‘my goodness, why would you do that?’

You can put whatever slant on it you wish, but the way you’re describing it, you’d think I’d described and marked out a single woman, a particular woman (also the way the other minority are posting id assume the same about their thoughts) I never did such a thing. Ive never singled out a particular person and nor would I ever.

What I can question and have an opinion however, is the whole ‘fashionable’ element of these fillers.

If you’re that ignorant to believe I simply think ‘they are ugly’ then more fool you. As I have explained, I have a daughter who will be impressionable by this ridiculous look (and yes I do believe it’s a ridiculous look, again like most on this thread) so of course I worry about that?!

OP posts:
Yesmate · 12/06/2020 23:16

Haven’t read the full 13 pages.
Mind your own business and let people do what they are doing as long as it doesn’t affect you.
Again, mind your own business

TheMurk · 12/06/2020 23:19

Gosh some people are very touchy about this.

Presumably the ones who have fillers.

Starcup · 12/06/2020 23:20

And also..... I was watching an interview with a woman of a former professional footballer the other day and I couldn’t stop looking at her lips wondering ‘WTF- why has someone continuously put fillets in those lips? They look awful. I’m sure she’d like so much prettier without pumping that shit in to her lips”

I’m allowed to wonder why some women perceive this look to be so attractive. I’m allowed to wonder what makes women feel they need to plump up their lips? To pay to have chemicals put injected in to them?

OP posts:
Doggybiccys · 12/06/2020 23:23

It’s yet another example of women putting foreign substances into their bodies to appeal to the male gaze. Even those who are “doing it for themselves”. Big lips are subconsciously associated with sex - in fact labia fillers are now being offered to. God knows what the lasting effects of these things will be.

Yesmate · 12/06/2020 23:26

But you’re not wondering. You are outright saying they look shit and make people unattractive.
I don’t have fillers, I don’t want them but I also don’t tell other women what they should and shouldn’t do to their own bodies or judge them for it.
Again, mind your own fucking business

Doggybiccys · 12/06/2020 23:28

Stuff like this just saddens me

user1471565182 · 12/06/2020 23:28

Its like CGI isnt it (cosmentic surgery)-been around for ages, raved about and yet when you see it it looks obvious and crap.

yearinyearout · 12/06/2020 23:30

I usually have botox, nobody knows or has noticed

Just because nobody says "oh, I see you've had Botox" doesn't mean nobody noticed. I see loads of people and it's obvious they've had Botox but I wouldn't dream of mentioning it.

Starcup · 12/06/2020 23:37

But you’re not wondering. You are outright saying they look shit and make people unattractive.
I don’t have fillers, I don’t want them but I also don’t tell other women what they should and shouldn’t do to their own bodies or judge them for it.
Again, mind your own fucking business

@Yesmate

That’s your bigoted slant on it.

No ones telling them what to do. The nature of people will chose what they want. That’s fine. What people are saying is, it looks better natural. If you want to infer that people say ‘it looks shit’, then fair enough

OP posts:
lotusbell · 12/06/2020 23:38

I don't like them and will never have them myself. As others have said, I've never seen it look natural on anyone. I've just turned 40 and I'm surprised that so many women I know have had it done, along with fillers and Botox but I think what was once seen as something older women thought they needed - loss of natural fat in the face, wrinkles, thinning lips etc - is now seen as enhancement for younger women who really don't need to have anything done at their age. It's as normal as gel nails and microblading now, I think.
However, it's their choice to have it done so none of my business and they certainly don't need anyone's sympathy. My best friend has hers done and I'm happy to tell her she looks ridiculous and she's happy to tell me to piss off Grin

Yesmate · 12/06/2020 23:39

Bigoted. Are you serious. What a ridiculous comment. You have literally said “They look awful” to me that’s the same as saying they look shit.
Bigoted. Jesus Christ.

Twofurrycatsagain · 12/06/2020 23:39

I couldn't care less if people have lip fillers, I just hope they are being done by someone qualified.
What does amaze me is the time, money and effort that goes into getting ready for a 'big' night out now.
When I was in my early 20's it would have been; bath, hair washed, dried and beaten into submission with straighteners. Nails painted, make on, dressed and out.
Daughters of friends; eyebrows tinted, hair extensions, fake tan or sunbed, Russian lashes, acrylic nails etc all done at salons. Possibly an MUA to get the contouring, highlight and cut crease just right.
Admittedly they look far more polished than I did at their age!
I also think this adds into the cosmetic procedures. A lot of the salons offer fillers and it becomes the next step.

Starcup · 12/06/2020 23:41

@Doggybiccys

This photo saddens me too. I bet she was lovely before pumping that shit in to her lips. It’s such a shame she wanted to do it....

How people can question why were concerned is beyond me. They just need to look at that pic. It’s so sad

OP posts:
aphrodites · 12/06/2020 23:45

cosmetic procedures in general seem to be getting done by women at a younger and younger age, why on earth does a 20 year old need botox and fillers???

We live in a very shallow society, social media has made people feel like they need to look a certain way. Obviously not everyone, but a large proportion, I feel more sad for the young people feeling pressured into fitting the mold, before it used to involve push up bras and make up, now it's stuff which could lead to facial paralysis and nerve damage if done wrong.