DD Shaved Her Head

[CrazyLady82]

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

Good God some of you are mean.

Well yes, OP was mean to her DD. That kind of thing really riles me. There is no need for it and even less need to go on about your day without even apologising for being so horrible.

Blimey that’s a reaction and then some op. I think I’d be concerned about my mental health currently

Go and tell her she looks gorgeous. Don’t be that mother.

@carexfairex I'm supposed to apologize for telling her "Well it looks different." And then her leaving the room. She was happily munching on a sandwich she had bought on the way home. Smile on her face.

I don't know what I have to apologize for. She doesn't know I was crying and having a mini meltdown when I was home alone. I won't be telling her this.

Aw, have a hug, OP. We all react irrationally to stuff our kids do from time to time.

My bet is she'll look fabulous with a shaved head (I'm imagining Sinead O'Connor here...)

Really OP?

Shaving her hair is her choice, she’s 18, she hasn’t shaved your hair.

I’ve just buzzed all of mine down to a 6 as I couldn’t be bothered growing out the pixie anymore. I may go shorter, I’ll see how I feel.

It’s just hair, it doesn’t define her. Your reaction is utterly awful and you need to apologise.

I'm supposed to apologize for telling her "Well it looks different." And then her leaving the room.

You were supposed to apologise for being shitty when she called and then hanging up on her. Surely you know that though and we're just deliberately being obtuse?

Wel, op, the next time you get a new hairdo I hope she responds with well that looks different and turns from you.

Nice.

I don't know what I have to apologize for.

Nobody is quite so stupid.

She just said she's not happy with her coice, but it is her choice, not had a hissy fit. When i dyed my hair blonde, 18 or 19, my mum said i looked like Lil Kim and my dad couldn't believe I paid to have that done 😁. I just said my hair, my decission and they quickly moved on yo what's for dinner.

Oops didn't catch up with the latest posts - that'll teach me. Yup, time to go and eat humble pie OP. (And yes, you are awash with pregnancy hormones and not thinking straight. And she's awash with teenage hormones and wasn't thinking straight when she commented on your pregnancy. But you're the grown-up here.)

Could be a lot worse. Fair play to her for having the courage to do it.

But why were you crying? I don’t understand. TBH my hair is annoying me and I have hair clippers. I’m so tempted to take the whole lot off. It’ll grow.

I always thought Sinead OConnor looked beautiful with a shaved head (many years ago) but I grew up in the 80s when skinheads all had shaved heads, even the girls, and some young girls can just pull it off.

My favourite haircut ever when I was also young and had a good face was a very short pixie crop coloured white blonde.

I thought I looked great, as I am sure your DD does. Hair grows, it’s better than a tattoo on her forehead!

What’s a silent scream?

I don’t think you can blame the hormones on this one OP. You’re daughter’s an adult and hair grows back. I could understand your reaction if someone had shaved your hair maybe.

Where did she go to shave it/have it shaved?

Actually when she found out I was pregnant she threatened to move out

And I’m sure you went out your way to help her adjust.

In a memoir Maureen Lipman wrote back in the 80s she talked about the complex controlling relationships between mothers, daughters and hair. Sounds like little has changed in 40 years.

The shaved head is fine. If she had short hair anyway it will regrow to her normal length very quickly. And lockdown is a good time to do something like that .

What is NOT fine is her behaviour to you about your pregnancy. On that matter she is behaving like a spoiled little madam, and you really would be entitled to tick her off for it. Don't let it lie, it will just become a bigger problem if you do.

I’ve done mine twice, 1st was after chemo as I didn’t want the merry monk cut, 2nd time because I missed those care free bald days. Let’s face it, not many of us have great hair. Bald is beautiful.

So it's not really about the hair is it?

She’s shaved her head not gone and got an offensive tattoo on her face! It’ll grow back to a normal short cut length in a few months anyway. I don’t really understand the ott reaction? If she’d done something permanent than could effect her job prospects or something long term then ok be mad but it’s just hair, hair grows.

I'm supposed to apologize for telling her "Well it looks different."
Yes you should apologies for simply being negative about it. It looks different, even written, sounds disapproving and cold.
Would it kill you to be a bit positive about it? What about saying - you look great.

Oh it could be a lot worse.
Dd had a tattoo when 14 off some bloke on the internet.

You really owe your DD an apology.