DD Shaved Her Head

[CrazyLady82]

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

why are you upset? Because you think it's not pretty? Or not feminine? Or that she should have asked your permission first? Or that it will badly reflect on you somehow? (my own mother threw a massive temper tantrum when i did the same, i was 22, married, with a kid)

I say encourage them to do radical things with their hair. If they need to rebel that's the least permanent way to do it. It's good that she wants to take risks and be independent. Be proud that she is strong-minded, and remember that hair grows out. Tattoos don't.

She’s very very cool. Her worth isn’t based on her hair or any other physical attribute and your reaction is in danger of saying it is. I shaved most of my hair off at 16- and I was at a convent. No batted an eyelid and it grew back! I understand your hormonal but it’s her life and fab she is taking such a bold step against convention.

Oh cmon, millions of women get pregnant and are able to function hold down jobs and act perfectly rationally. Even if your hormones do unbalance you you’re still able to know logically how to behave and the difference between right and wrong
I really hate this portrayal of women that if we are pregnant or having our period, or even due our period, then we aren’t in control of ourselves because of “hormones”.
No wonder women can get such a bad reputation for being out of control emotionally when we say “it’s not my fault it’s my hormones” when we behave shittily.
Very odd that “hormones” never seem to make us nice.

Yep hormones are a cop out and just puts women down. Its a weak excuse

OP it is just hair. YABU

YABU for spelling “lose” as “loose”.

pregnancy hormones are a bugger...

Oh ffs grow up. It is just hair it will grow.

She's an adult, it's her hair (or not, her scalp ATM)
When your baby is born you can exert a greater degree of control.
How would you like your mother telling you how to wear/cut your hair?

Hi OP,

I just wanted to say many congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well. I am sorry to hear about your fertility struggles, I know only too well what that is like.

You have explained everything fully yet some people are still ripping you to shreds. You reacted to your daughters news about her shaved head when you were on your own and a bit shocked. I fail to see what harm that has caused.

Forget about the nasties on here. Nobody has a right to start judging you on having a baby 18 years after your daughter. There is every chance your daughter will go all warm and fuzzy when the baby arrives. She is maybe still adjusting to the impending changes in your lives.
I wish you and your family happiness.

Blimey! You're still all piling on to a thread started 6 days ago.

Lockdown getting to you, is it?

And @Ritascornershop - hope you feel better after the SPaG correction (or maybe, you know, it just might have been a typo?)

From what you said about her reaction to your wonderful pregnancy news it sounds like she is struggling with it, 18 is not too old to feel like you're going to be loved less when there is a new sibling, especially if you have ben an only child up until that point. Can you do some love bombing with her and let her know how much she is loved and cherished and that the new baby won't change anything? I appreciate that 18 is a difficult age for connecting in this way but we don't stop wanting to be loved and cherished no matter how old we get. It may be that her wanting an unusual hair cut is because she wants a reaction from you, and she wants something to be about her again, rather than being about the baby. Or it might be that she likes it and it makes her happy. Either way you're not going to do any harm reminding her that she'll always be your baby, no matter how old she gets and that nothing will ever change how much you love her.