DD Shaved Her Head

[CrazyLady82]

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

Isnt this just part of growing up? My sisters kid shaved hers, it actually suited her. I remember having spiky hair green hair purple hair. Sometimes this behaviour is to get a reaction. Just ignore it.

it is only hair at the end of the day, at least it's not permanent. Definitely better than tattoos. My husband shaved his a few weeks ago and it grew back to a length that needed cutting last week. Sometimes it is a good idea to get rid of dyes and other chemicals and start fresh. Plus it is summer, it would be a bit chilly if she did it in winter.

I have had really really short hair.. but didn’t go the whole hog by shaving it off. I wish I had now and I think when I was younger I could have pulled off the look. My hair is really long now, but I have gone from this long to pixie cut a couple of time so I can testify that hair definitely does grow back Plus it sounds like she is happy with the choice she made so you are definitely BU.. Put it down to your pregnancy hormones

Her hair. Don't see the issue

Yay your daughter's cool.

I would cry too. I hope it's not as bad as you imagine - does she live with you?

No wonder pregnant women are treated as like irrational idiots.
The amount of 'oh its hormones hun' is pathetic. What a cop out.
Its more like an excuse to act like an idiot, pout over nothing and expect sympathy.
Own it OP, you just dont like short hair on women as its not what you deem as feminine

Actually when she found out I was pregnant she threatened to move out. Told me I was too old. If I mention the baby or the pregnancy around her she starts yelling that she doesn't want to hear about it. Doesn't say anything but complain that when the baby is born she will hear it through the walls. That it will cramp her style to have a young sibling. So no she didn't say something nice. She got mad at me for being pregnant. With implying that she would be happy if I didn't have the baby.

Well yeah, what 18 yr old wants a crying baby in the house? If the baby up crying all night, she will be up all night too.
Can she have mates over and be normal if the baby is asleep, probably not without you saying, shh baby sleeping, be quiet now at 7pm
Can she get home at 1am and not have you saying too late you will wake the baby?
It will "cramp her style", to say it wont is lying. A baby changes everything.
Could she fear being used by you as a live in baby sitter? Like most older siblings get guilted into
It could come across as now she 18 your replacing her with a baby

You should be more worried how it will go when the baby comes home, not her haircut

Literally not an issue

YABU.

1. she's an adult: her hair, her choice

2. it will grow

Hopefully it won't look as bad as you're expecting....some women look great with a shaved head.

There really are more important things to worry about right now. Breathe in, breathe out.

All those having a go at the OP for her "overreaction", are you forgetting she's pregnant, therefore it's likely to be those pesky pregnancy hormones making her irrational?
@CrazyLady82 have these, I think you need them

It will grow OP.
But, I think I'd be a bit upset if my DD shaved her head as well.

Oh cmon, millions of women get pregnant and are able to function hold down jobs and act perfectly rationally. Even if your hormones do unbalance you you’re still able to know logically how to behave and the difference between right and wrong

I really hate this portrayal of women that if we are pregnant or having our period, or even due our period, then we aren’t in control of ourselves because of “hormones”.

No wonder women can get such a bad reputation for being out of control emotionally when we say “it’s not my fault it’s my hormones” when we behave shittily.

Very odd that “hormones” never seem to make us nice.

How old were you when you had your Dd1 @CrazyLady82? should I guess from your name that you are now 37 so you were 21 when you had her?

I’m wondering if your over reaction to your DDs new hairstyle is to do with this.

Do you resent the freedom and choices she has now compared to You at the same age?

Did you honestly expect her to be happy about you having a baby when she had been an only child all her life ?

I imagine she's watched too many Brad Mondo videos and accidentally fried it with bleach to the consistency of chewing gum. There was probably little choice but to shave it and the best way to achieve healthy regrowth. It will grow back, she'll just be fuzzy for a while.

Irrational silly response on your part. It’s just hair and a fun thing to do. It’s normal for young people to experiment with their looks as they are exploring identity.

My dd 16 years old wants to shave her hair off. I think she’s trying to get a reaction from me. I’ve told her when she’s 18 she can do what she wants. But I don’t think it’s that big a deal and certainly wouldn’t be silently screaming about it if she did do it.

@Pawsandnoses I was actually watching a Brad Mondo video of girls shaving their heads the other week. It nearly convinced me to do it! 😂

@letmeeatcakes What's the point in prolonging it for 2 years, when in those 2 years she could grow back a good amount of hair after shaving it? You're clearly hoping she will change her mind.

I bet she looks cool as fuck !

@letmeeatcakes surely a 16 year old should be allowed to shave their head? No one would bat an eyelid at a 16 year old boy doing it so why shouldn't a girl?

Policing a teenager’s hair is awful and as pp pointed out a boy would be allowed to do that. I shaved ny head with 15, the hair grew back, everyone survived.

Lockdown is the perfect time to do it

True - I’ve cut DH and DS hair. It will grow back!

OP it’s fine, you didn’t say anything bad to her and it sounds like you have more going on!

I think your DD could be feeling very unsettled about the baby. It will be a big change for everyone and she's never had to share you before, let alone now she's a grown up in so many ways but maybe not quite secure in it all. Could the shaved head be a bit of a cry for attention?
I understand it's an incredibly stressful time for you too. I can't imagine how you must feel having gone through everything you have to get here. Your daughter's words must have cut deep.
I think you two need to have a good talk before the baby gets here. Reassure her how much you love her and that you'll still love and support her just as much when the baby is here, including radical hairstyle choices ;) Tell her that she hurt you, but you understand how the change is daunting and will affect her.