DD Shaved Her Head

[CrazyLady82]

More of a wwyd.

My DD18 has just called me and told me she has shaved her head. DD already had short hair.

DD reasons were that her hair was damaged from all the coloring and she didn't like the color it was.

I am sitting here trying not to loose my mind. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 and am thinking part of my reaction is pregnancy hormones. After telling DD I wasn't happy with the choice, but it was her choice I hung up the phone. I have been crying and silent screaming for 10 minutes.

I don't want to say anything to bad to her. I know that it is her choice.

Could someone help give me a reality check that shaving her head isn't that bad? I need to get a grip as it is her life.

@swampytiggaa nice! 😀

Crying and silently screaming is an absolutely batshit reaction to someone else’s haircut, pregnancy hormones or no.

I don't even know where to begin with all that’s wrong with this thread.

She told you as a ‘courtesy’?! Why does you adult child have to be courteous to you when it comes to her own hair?! Is it because she knows that you feel like you should have to approve of what she chooses?

You should get a grip and count your lucky stars that the biggest problem you have with your 18 year old daughter is that she shaved her hair. It would have been a blessed relief to my parents if that’s all the trouble I gave them at 18.....

Be proud. You clearly have A confident and independent daughter, with a great amount of self esteem. She’s challenging society’s perceptions and showing her self worth. My heart would burst with pride!

As a side note, I’m 22 years older than my youngest brother. It’s actually more difficult to accept than you might think. Especially when people are inherently judgemental about anything ‘different’ to the social norm....

To quote a good old Sabrina episode "hair grows". If your DD is happy with her hair then that's all that matters.

Are you ok OP? Do you have the support you need? Perinatal MH is important :) it might just be hormones and the stress of the weird situation we're in currently but consider if you may need some help.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP.

I originally voted YABU, but have changed it to YANBU. Your reaction to your daughter's hair was in private. What you do in private is no one else's business. You did not hang up on your daughter and I don't see why you should lie about a hairstyle. As others keep saying, your daughter is a grownup. You don't have anything to apologise for.

What is wrong with you, OP?

@TerrorWig Who said anything about population. I said not every child wants a sibling, so some children will have a negative reaction to being told another child is coming into the mix. I don't know what you're raving on about.

I'm 44 an am seriously considering shaving all my hair off just for a change. It's not a big deal - as many have said it'll grow.

It's rather an abrupt way of saying "I'm a grown woman now, I'm not your little girl any more". That brings sadness at the end of an era as well as pride at her independence. Easy to cope with if it happens gradually, not so easy if you're brought up short like this.

Couldn’t even be bothered to read your own quote back @motherheroic? Which I put in my post?

You said Also not every child wants a sibling. A lot of parents will act as if they are giving their existing children a gift, but really they just want another child at the end of the day

Clearly I’m referring to the ‘but really they just want another child at the end of the day’.

I'll be kind and say, I think it may be your hormones getting to you, plus this entire situation we're all in just now. It gets to us. Maybe the hair shave was the thing that let our your feelings.

It's okay. Shaved hair is fine. I know a few children sporting that look just now (female and male) and there's nothing wrong with it. It will grow and healthier than before if she's determined not to damage it this time.

People do love a proper pile on. A daughter with a shaved head would bother a lot of people. It would jarring for a start. This is really isn't the right place for you to aid feelings OP. It's not exactly a friendly place and certainly not for an American.

She’s 18, let her experiment! It’s deffo sounds line your hormones....

Rocking the look amazingly @SchadenfreudePersonified

I think pregnancy hormones probably have a lot to answer for here and I sympathise op.

I ugly cried for almost an hour over a broken mug when I was pregnant. It was dp's favourite mug and I was distraught.

Really though, in the kindest possible way, give your head a bit of a wobble.

It's her hair, this is how she wants it. We don't own our children and their choices are their own.

It'll grow back (almost definitely thicker, shinier and healthier), but at 18 she is a young adult and probably looks fantastic, even if the change is drastic.

I think a lady with a shaved head looks strong, unique and beautiful. Also, she's 18 and she can do what she wants.

It’s hair. I don’t understand what the problem is?

She’s said she’s done it to counter act damage. That’s sensible, but even if she did it for fashion, there still shouldn’t be a problem..?

Also, I think if she has just done something drastic to her hair, she more than likely would appreciate some reassurance that it looks good. (Even if you don't like it)

It will grow back

[quote CrazyLady82]@nomorefencepostsplease Actually when she found out I was pregnant she threatened to move out. Told me I was too old. If I mention the baby or the pregnancy around her she starts yelling that she doesn't want to hear about it. Doesn't say anything but complain that when the baby is born she will hear it through the walls. That it will cramp her style to have a young sibling. So no she didn't say something nice. She got mad at me for being pregnant. With implying that she would be happy if I didn't have the baby.[/quote]
Apologies then. Sounds like you have bigger problems than her haircut.

This is so over dramatic, it’s just hair after all. I shaved mine off when I was 15, I thought it was amazing at the time but obviously now realise I looked like a twat! It was just a phase and I’m glad my Mother didn’t cry and scream about it .

I know a few women who’ve recently shaved their heads (I totally wouldn’t have the guts!) I’m just hoping and praying my hairdresser can open soon 😂 I’d put your reaction down to hormones on top of a stressful time.

I looked like a twat!

Maybe I do too but ...... no matter: I love it

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace You absolutely do not. You're rocking that look. I wish I had the guts.

@wildcherries

Thank you. I needed that today: made a momentous life decision yesterday. I'm sure it was right but ..... I waver now and again. So, thank you

[quote NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace]@wildcherries

Thank you. I needed that today: made a momentous life decision yesterday. I'm sure it was right but ..... I waver now and again. So, thank you [/quote]
You're welcome