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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide I will not let my DD go to birthday party because invitation demands £5

221 replies

milliec · 22/09/2007 18:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ladymariner · 25/09/2007 23:16

Going to show my MN ignorance here but what's a FB or a PFB?

chipmonkey · 25/09/2007 23:30

First Born or Precious First Born!

hatwoman · 25/09/2007 23:34

UCM! language please. dh wants to know what UCM stands for

ladymariner · 25/09/2007 23:34

OK, thankyou. x

chipmonkey · 26/09/2007 15:50

Under Cover Mum?

minouminou · 26/09/2007 16:57

a particularly loaded friend of ours sent a round robin email out to raise sponsorship for his fiancee's charity kilimanjaro walk last year.
now, fair enough, nothing wrong with asking - but we'd just had DS, so it wasn't really on our to-do list, so we were rather appalled a few weeks later when we got another follow-up round robin telling us we hadn't donated anything, and reminding us to
the best bit was, though, his explanation for HIS name not being on the list of donors - "if you're wondering why i'm not on the list, it's because i've forked out enough already".
Pure class, eh?
he's of those types who's loaded, who always wangles his way out of repaying/chipping in, but is hot on your tail for an owed fiver
we don't bother with him anymore

Bonaventura · 26/09/2007 17:08

Sounds fishy. I think I'd give that party a miss.

HarrietTheSpy · 26/09/2007 17:15

The plate of food is the right response, if you really want your daughter to go. Or if you know them well and want to see them yourselves and think this was just a momentary brain fart/judgement fog they had. If they insist on the cash, forget it.

chipmonkey · 26/09/2007 21:06

Reminds me of years ago, one of SILs children got an invitation to a party given the starting time of 1.00, ending time of 1.30 and the instruction to "Please bring a present"!

InMyHumbleOpinion · 26/09/2007 21:10

"How gloriously vulgar"

Oh I am thrilled with that phrase, and will endeavor to engineer a situation in which I can use it tomorrow!

LittleBella · 26/09/2007 21:13

Oh I never have to engineer a situation to use it, just drop the kids off at school and people-watch.

aintnomountainhighenough · 26/09/2007 21:26

Oh I would just turn up and ask if they take credit cards

tigermoth · 27/09/2007 08:20

The parents will be cringing at this idea of theirs in years to come.

At a gess, they don't know much about children's parties as thier dd is so young.

Assume they expect all parents to stay (as you would with 2 year olds) and the fiver is towards food and drink for the adults.

If you suspect they are just plain odd and mean, ignore the invite and don't go.

If you think they are not, talk to them about the party plans and entrance fee before you make a decision. At least that way they will get an inkling that their invite is and unusual one.

I can't help thinking how it could be on the day - all those invites sent out but no guests, their dd all ready for her party, parents wondering what they did wrong

Original poster
milliec · 27/09/2007 10:07

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
FLIER · 27/09/2007 10:11

MillieC, thank goodness you were there at the right time for this poor woman, and that you were able to spend some time with her.

fireflyfairy2 · 27/09/2007 10:15

The poor woman

themildmanneredjanitor · 27/09/2007 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KristinaM · 27/09/2007 10:25

I'm sorry to hear about her circumstances & you were very kind to spend the time with her

BUt i'm still a bit surprised that if she has 6 yo she doesnt knwo that this is not " the done thing". After all, if her 6yo twins were invited to a party with a similar request, she woudl have to find £10 and it sounds like she couldnt afford it

as you said to her - at two, all they need is some diluting juice, a few packets of crisps/biscuits and a few cakes(not healthy i knwo but its a party). She coudl do it for £10-15

i think people can get caught up in thsi competitive party thing and believe its for teh kids. Its not,at least not at teh age of two. Its just another status thing to make the parents look good to other parents.

vitomum · 27/09/2007 10:28

millie, how nice you sound

Sunshinemummy · 27/09/2007 10:31

This is so sad. I hope more people accept next time.

KaySamuels · 27/09/2007 10:40

Oh poor woman, I read this thread and didn't have time to respond.

Surely the mum could just invite friends and relatives who know her situation, and will all muck in and bring say a pack of balloons, a plate of buns etc. ? At 6 the two twins will just need to be told they are having a super duper party with all the people who care about them, and could be roped into decorating value biscuits with icing or something?

Feel sorry for mum, at the time I bet her head was spinning and she wasn't even thinking properly.

Carbonel · 27/09/2007 11:02

I am glad you had chance to talk to her. When the next invites come out can you sort of organise the other parents to offer a plate of sandwiches, or cakes to help her out a bit?

Flibbertyjibbet · 27/09/2007 15:47

Please make sure you tell all the other invitees mums what the explanation was.

JeremyVile · 27/09/2007 15:57

Gosh - I dont feel even slightly sorry for her...

...Off to check pulse.

wheelsonthebus · 27/09/2007 16:06

might have been better if she had suggested parents bring some party food contribution along (tho not much)

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