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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide I will not let my DD go to birthday party because invitation demands £5

221 replies

milliec · 22/09/2007 18:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
LIZS · 22/09/2007 18:24

fgs how many kids eat £5 worth of party tea food aged 2 ! She's barking, even if it is in lieu of a gift . If she's that hard up either scale down the party or send in a cake to share at nursery. I'd decline on principle , your dd won't notice.

Greensleeves · 22/09/2007 18:25

Do you know them? Are they neanderthals?

lulumama · 22/09/2007 18:25

sorry rubberduck... now that DS is in yr 3, there are a lot less parties, and DD only 2, so not in the mad swing of weekly parties again.

Scootergrrrl · 22/09/2007 18:25

Don't go under any circumstances - they're bonkers and your DD won't care anyway!

NKF · 22/09/2007 18:27

How weird! I've never heard anything like it. Bizarre.

NAB3 · 22/09/2007 18:28

Either they are so strapped that they are having to ask and it is easier to put a fiver than coins in an envelope, or they have no shame.

RubberDuck · 22/09/2007 18:29

lulu: no need to apologise I'm looking forward to that stage myself, lol. Ds1 is in Y2, and so far still seems to be a fair amount of proper parties (which is great, as he does enjoy them lots) and ds2 is 3 so just starting the party circuit! Feels like it's a rare weekend without anywhere to go sometimes!

Bouquetsofdynomite · 22/09/2007 18:29

Is that a Precious First Born's party by any chance? Maybe they just don't have a clue about doing their parties.

If they're that hard up they shouldn't have one or just do it themselves on a budget. Plus when I've catered for under 2s it's been very cheap - cheese butties, veg sticks, cut up fruit - we know so many veggies, dairy-frees, pernickety parents that it's cheaper and easier to go as natural and simple as possible.
You would be doing them a favour by not going!

foxinsocks · 22/09/2007 18:31

I wouldn't punish the child by not going tbh.

It's not normal practice by any means but who really cares. You'd only have to go out and spend £5 on tat. I'd be quite relieved tbh.

NKF · 22/09/2007 18:31

For two year olds at nursery, you could just send in some little cakes for them to share out at one of the circle times. They may be broke but they're also weird.

lulumama · 22/09/2007 18:31

or you could say to them you are a bit short of funds, and maybe you could bring some sarnies instead and maybe other parents would to? turn it around, maybe she has now idea what a faux pas it is..

do you know if anyone else is going?

moondog · 22/09/2007 18:33

Fucking nutters
Steer clear

belgo · 22/09/2007 18:34

lulu - I was going to suggest turning up without the five pounds. I would doubt if they got turned away.

NadineBaggott · 22/09/2007 18:34

Under 2's won't notice if there is a party or not.

agree with beansprout

DaisyMOO · 22/09/2007 18:34

How about sending your dc with a present but don't give them the donation and wait till they ask. If/when they do ask very ostentatiously dig around in your purse, and count out £5 in change Although if you want them to speak to you again, probably best not to do this

NadineBaggott · 22/09/2007 18:34

(not) trust you not to mince words md

WotsZePoint · 22/09/2007 18:36

Where is the party? What are they doing?

Agree with others about suggesting to bring food or some cakes and take a present.

bran · 22/09/2007 18:38

I wouldn't go to this party, but then I wouldn't go to a child's party if I didn't know and like at least one of the parents. Similarly I wouldn't invite a child to ds's party if I didn't know and like the child's parents. (ds is only 3, I'll be less picky as he gets older.)

Asking for donations is odd, I wonder how many will be going from the nursery.

foxinsocks · 22/09/2007 18:40

oh it's only £5. Who really cares. It's probably their first child and they haven't figured out that they're supposed to receive 20 £5 bits of rubbish from Woolworths.

WideWebWitch · 22/09/2007 18:42

Outrageous! I would decline. You can't afford a party, don't have a party fgs.

WotsZePoint · 22/09/2007 18:43

Both mine went to nursery and only had family and close friends for tea and cakes. Didn't cost much. Parties started when they began school.

fruitful · 22/09/2007 18:43

Ditto Lulumama.

Send a note back as RSVP.

DD would love to come, we're a bit low on funds too so we'll bring a plate of food - would you prefer sandwiches or cakes?

Depends whether you want your dd to go or not. She isn't going to notice if she doesn't, is she?

2-yr-old parties are just get-togethers for the mums, surely?

And presents - I buy a pack of 10 books for £10 (or £5 sometimes) from the Book People. Couple of books per party - looks good, doesn't cost much, and has got to be better than the pile of plastic, I think. Although eldest dc is 5 and loves books, perhaps all her friends hate me now...

Original poster
milliec · 22/09/2007 18:45

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 22/09/2007 18:45

This is DEEPLY odd, I've never heard of it before, it's bizarre. A 2yo won't care!

seeker · 22/09/2007 18:47

Why wouldn't you invite a child to a party if you didn't know and like the parents? Or am I missing something?

Wouldn't go to the 5 pound one though!

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