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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide I will not let my DD go to birthday party because invitation demands £5

221 replies

milliec · 22/09/2007 18:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Bouquetsofdynomite · 23/09/2007 19:47

I suspect they are clueless and feeling hard up due to the amount they spend on Pret sandwiches, lattes, M&S & Annabel Karmel ready meals and having someone do ALL their laundry for them. Plus 2 flashy but inefficient cars they drive to work and pay for parking everyday.
My sister knows a V wealthy couple who live in a huge house with nothing personal in it because they don't really have a life outside work. They are v good at their jobs and simply don't know how to do anything else. Suspect they would do invitations like this if they had a child.

amidaiwish · 23/09/2007 20:13

will the dc want a party age 2 anyway?

DD2 is 2 next week and i haven't even CONSIDERED a party... i think she would hate the house full of other children playing with her stuff!

of course on sunday we'll have a cake, candles, sing happy birthday, give her pressies. Grandparents and a few cousins too - but no party.

and on her birthday on monday the 4 of us are going to the zoo. now that she will enjoy.

barking.

moljam · 23/09/2007 20:17

!

1dilemma · 24/09/2007 00:01

Bookworm, spinspinsugar, can I come to your dcs next parties?

purpleduck · 24/09/2007 00:21

Is the fiver in leiu of a present?
I have received an invite where we were given a link to the party girls "hoped for items"

EricL · 24/09/2007 00:25

I jut mentioned this issue with my wife and the expression on her face was priceless. I have never see her jaw drop so low as it did tonight.

I still cannot believe that people like this actually exist.

Steer well clear from these freaks and think yourself lucky that you aren't like them - believe me.

nappyaddict · 24/09/2007 02:33

ok if it was like £2.50 i could maybe understand but £5. that's an extortionate amount!

it does seem to be the norm at older children's birthdays though.

vacua - i don't think there is anything wrong with inviting someone to a concert or theme park and expecting them to pay at all though.

Califrau · 24/09/2007 03:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egypt · 24/09/2007 04:54

plus, when you arrive they will have already bought the food/balloons etc so what are they going to do with the cash? pub?!

ghosty · 24/09/2007 06:41

If you can't afford a party don't have one. Simple. I am at the idea of asking for money toward the party.
My child wouldn't be going if we had an invitation like that.
Pot luck - that's the way to go ... very common in Aus and NZ - have a party, ask everyone to bring a plate - no one bats an eyelid.

WaynettaVonSlob · 24/09/2007 07:38

Am totally at this.
If you can't afford a party, then don't have one, full stop. And if the girl is the same age as your DD, then she's hardly going to notice if she doesn't have one.

amidaiwish · 24/09/2007 11:17

but does anyone really think that a 2 year old WANTS or will even really enjoy a birthday party anyway?

3 year olds, definitely yes, my DD1 loved every minute, but 2? i really don't think so.

am i just being a mean lazy mummy not doing a party for DD2's or are my DDs strange?

PrettyCandles · 24/09/2007 11:20

Completely YANBU.

If their funds are so low, then they should ask parents to bring food for the party, or for gift vouchers instead of presents so that they can use them as cash to buy things that are needed.

harleyd · 24/09/2007 11:22

cant believe that anyone would have the audacity to ask for money to pay for a party on the invitations

it is quite enterprising though lol

Elasticbandstand · 24/09/2007 11:33

very enterprenuarial!
i bet they are loaded, have a huge house!

Hulababy · 24/09/2007 11:35

That's awful and would definitely put me off accepting. I'm not tight but I think it really rude tof the parents.

If they genuinely can't afford the party then they shouldn't be having one. They could just as happily - for their child at least - invite c ouple of mums round with a little one each and have a tea party at home with a couple of sandwiches, some pop and a bun each, with the children just playing with toys.

clarinsgirl · 24/09/2007 11:37

I'd steer well clear, they sound like awful people. Have a party for your child that you can afford - not difficult is it.

My DS is 2.5, for both his first and second birthday we had a few friends and family round. Didn't spend much on food and I made the cake - dread to think how much we spent on wine / champagne though

Saturn74 · 24/09/2007 11:39

What a strange way of handling the situation.

Better to suggest perhaps that each child brings a packed lunch.

I would be unhappy about this request for money too, and would probably be busy that day.

cocolepew · 24/09/2007 11:42

My dd's 6 today and we told her she can't have a party as we're skint. Any donations will be gratefully accepted . I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Keep an eye out for my 'Xmas Is Coming and I'm Skint' thread in the next few weeks.

Lorayn · 24/09/2007 11:45

I think it is atrocious, DD said to me saturday 'mum, nicholas said I can go to his party if I pay ten pounds'
I laughed and said 'don't be so silly, if he wanted you to go to his party he would send an invite like everyone else and then you can go'
I am now wondering if this was true and his parents are expecting money for the party.
It is going to be at a playzone, but I know that the parties there cost 7pounds per head, so asking 3pounds over the price would be ridiculous!
If you cant afford a party dont have one.
They dont cost much, especially for 2yr olds.

fedupwasherwoman · 24/09/2007 11:51

Asking for money like that is just vulgar behaviour. Socially unacceptable.

If you can't afford a party for your 2 year old why on earth would you advertise the fact ? These people are either stupid, stupid, stupid or sly moneygrabbing individuals. I can't think that I'd enjoy their company much to be honest.

fireflyfairy2 · 24/09/2007 11:52

I def wouldn't go.

Can't the parents see how clueless they are being?

I just wouldn't bother having a party for my child if I couldn't afford it!

NannyL · 24/09/2007 11:57

OMG

i did my 2 year odl charges birthday part at home 2 weeks ago

including cake (mummy made) / party bags / pass the parcel / prizes etc and food for children AND adults, and party cups and plates etc the whole lot was about £30 + a few bits we already had in the cupboard!

I would not be giving them £5

Anchovy · 24/09/2007 12:16

I'm wondering if the fact that the child is a friend via nursery is the key.

At the Dcs nursery school, if ever there was a Christmas/Easter/end of term party we would be asked for a fiver's contribution to go towards an entertainer or similar and for a bit of party food and a small party bag/easter egg etc. All well and good - it was a little treat above and beyond the everyday stuff, and most parents would also send in a plate of cakes or biscuits or similar as well - all very muck-in type stuff. Maybe these parent's don't realise that what is absolutely fine for nursery is not fine for a private party?

BTW Uno is fantastic and turning into my "party present of choice" for DS's rising 6 mates' birthday parties (but blimey sometimes it can last for DAYS!)

wolveschick · 24/09/2007 12:24

What are the other parents at nursery saying about this? Think a few of you need to get together and all agree the same reply. I like the idea of offering to bring a plate of food instead. This is just so not on. i never object when other Mums ask for a fiver to put together so that birthday child can get one big prezzie instead of lots of little bits but I feel free to say no if already bought something.