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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To decide I will not let my DD go to birthday party because invitation demands £5

221 replies

milliec · 22/09/2007 18:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
beansprout · 22/09/2007 18:50

I like the "I am low on funds myself" suggestion.

Five pounds is a lot of money to some people.

bran · 22/09/2007 18:51

Seeker, I don't like kids' parties much and have tried to keep ds's parties simple and small. It's not as though ds doesn't know the kids I did invite, he plays with them a lot (because I'm friends with their mums) and they had a great time in the paddling pool, which I couldn't have done if I'd had a big party with all the kids from nursery.

When he's old enough to draw up a guest list then I will invite whomever he wants.

themoon66 · 22/09/2007 18:54

I'd count out £3.50 on their hall table when I arrived. Then say 'oh that's all I've got, perhaps we'd better leave now'.

See what reaction you get.

You can then always punch them lightly on the arm and say 'oh go on with ya, am only joking'!

emj23 · 22/09/2007 19:05

So far, DS has only had family and close friends-type parties, we haven't invited anyone from nursery / school but will to his next one. I don't understand why they would have a party and invite people who aren't that close to them if they really can't afford it, particularly since the child is only two and won't have a clue what's happening anyway. I wouldn't feel bad about not letting your child go, £60 for food for a children's tea party seems like an awful lot.

RGPargy · 22/09/2007 19:26

YANBU!! This is outrageous and i've never heard of this either!

I totally agree that at 2 years old, neither child will know what's really going on and it certainly wouldn't cost £5 to feed one child. They will probably eat half a sarnie (if that) and then maybe a cake or summat. Hardly constitutes a fiver does it.

I wouldn't take my child out of principle. It's an absolute cheek!

Tinker · 22/09/2007 19:28

Why is a 2 year-old having a big party anyway?

JeremyVile · 22/09/2007 19:30

If you dont have the money for a party - dont have a party.

Crazy.

jojosmaman · 22/09/2007 19:31

Oooh this is wrong, yanbu. I prob wouldnt send my ds out of principle, at 2 neither would remember it anyway.

GlendaSlagg · 22/09/2007 19:33

I saw a really gorgeous dress in town the other day but I really can't afford it. Can you all send me £20 to cover it?

Agree with JV and the rest. Why do 2 year olds need parties anyway? £5 is a lot of sausage rolls....

BettySpaghetti · 22/09/2007 19:34

at the cheek!

If funds are low they could have a simple party at home with party games and a few snacks . The invitation could explain that "a few snacks/nibbles will be available" so people don't turn up expecting a 3 course meal. IME though 2 yr olds don't eat much at parties anyway so a few bits and pieces would be fine.

WideWebWitch · 22/09/2007 20:43

Oh I like the name GlendaSlagg, was GlendaSlag with 1 G taken?

Tipex · 22/09/2007 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bubblagirl · 22/09/2007 20:53

why throw a party if you cannot afford to and then expect to pocket 60 pound from it we done my ds party for under 30 pound including cake i would decline they seem to have otyher motives you dont thropw a party if you cannot afford it

ScoobyDooooo · 22/09/2007 20:55

Sorry but this is weird, the child is only 2 & will not be devastated if they don't have a big party, if they can not afford to do it then they should have a low key family party not ask people for money to pay for there childs birthday party...

What a friggin cheek...

3andnomore · 22/09/2007 20:57

YANBU...that is ridiculous, you either can hold a party or you can't...if they can't hold a party for that many Kids...well, invite fewer..or none...there is no need to have a big party at this tender age...

Cammelia · 22/09/2007 20:59

I wouldn't go near it

bookwormtailmum · 22/09/2007 21:09

How odd - my dd's 2nd birthday do was immediate family and friends round for a tea-party. Mind the pimms we served probably cost a fair bit .

lomondgal · 22/09/2007 21:21

I'm shocked at this, never heard of it before. If I couldn't afford a party I wouldn't have one, simple as that. 2 yr olds would be happy with a bit of birthday cake and a couple of nibbles. Don't think I would go to be honest, it would annoy me the whole time we were there.

Nemo2007 · 22/09/2007 21:23

Personally think thats out of order, we have never been able to afford a bday party for ds so he hasnt had one..simple. He is four this year and my mum offered to pay the vast majority instead of a present so he is having one this year. At 2 children are not aware if they are having a party and I dont think it is appropriate to ask for money to subsidise it..does that you take a present aswell

spinspinsugar · 22/09/2007 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spinspinsugar · 22/09/2007 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elasticwoman · 23/09/2007 11:36

If they are short of money for the food they should have asked each guest to bring a plate of food.

In your place I would decline the invite. Politely.

SSSandy2 · 23/09/2007 11:42

Are they expecting all the parents to stay and thinking they need to provide food and booze for the adults too or something?

I wouldn't go personally.

DottyDot · 23/09/2007 11:46

I can't believe they're charging for a party at home!!! I was going to say that we haven't had a party at a 'venue' yet because we can't afford it - wouldn't ever dream of asking for money - so we have parties at home which don't cost anywhere near £5 per child, even factoring in party bags. Outrageous.

chocolateteapot · 23/09/2007 11:54

I would think what Moondog said, but do what Lulumama said about saying funds are low.

What a really weird thing to do !

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