DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

[loreleigilmore28]

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

Oooh, this has actually made me really angry on your behalf Your DH is being rude, shallow & outrageously unkind.

Firstly, it has fuck all to do with him what you eat. Secondly you have grown TWO WHOLE FUCKING HUMANS with your amazing body, one of whom is not even 6 months old yet? Of course you've gained weight, it would be strange if you hadn't. I gained a fuckton of weight during both of my pregnancies particularly the 2nd.

A quick way to lose about 15 stone would be to kick that cheeky, ungrateful fucker out until he bucks his ideas up...

TheCanyon

She's not asking about dieting advice. She's sharing how her husband makes fun of her insecurities and gaslights her.
Imagine if your husband ignores your incredible figure but decided to laugh at your sack of shit tits. Every time you took your bra off he made some hilarious noise.
Then when you came on here to ask for support/ advice, I decided to share that despite breastfeeding two babies for 14 months each, my tits are still as fabulous and full as they were before pregnancy. Helpful?

He sounds exhaustingly cuntish to be honest OP. He knows how hurtful those words are, yet he still chooses to say them to you. All the time. That's not what a loving partner does. It's what a bully does.

Sounds like he is trying to passively aggressively make you lose weight

^ This.

He's a twat. Get out of this relationship for the sake of your emotional wellbeing. He will grind you down until you have no free will left.

He may be generally nice but that doesn’t excuse his vile rude comments. His behaviour is nasty in that moment. It is unacceptable. I would tell him straight you will not accept it. If he goes ballistic, that should tell you he is not the nice person you think he is. Tell him you will not accept retaliation for raising your grievances. Tell him to sort him self out. My ex was like this. It’s a nail in the coffin for the relationship in my view. Enough of these comments and it kills any love you once had. Resentment sets in. It’s very rarely one incident kills a relationship. It’s death by a thousand cuts.

@BarboreJacket You really don't quit the body shaming do you? Now you're passive aggressively implying that size 16 is 'heavy built' without 'actually saying it' wow

You're almost as bad as OP's husband

@loreleigilmore28 Are you ok? Please ignore BarboreJacket, she's being very passive aggressive. Size 16 is not heavy built at all, especially at 5'10!

Your DH sounds incredibly shallow. I get that he's perfect in every other way but when it comes to a husband, it should be every way!

It's a daft metaphor but if I handed you a drink and it turned out to contain just 1% bleach, would you still drink it?

OP use his weak spot against him, I know it is mean but an eye for an eye show how it feels to be mocked.

He's bullying you OP I had my second baby also in December so he's 5 and a bit months... food keeps me going at the moment and it's mostly beige high sugar foods that give me energy I'm a size 16 too and I'm not gonna worry about it until baby is in a solid routine and I get adequate sleep...
Sorry but I'd be telling him to piss off!
I tried dieting a few weeks ago and it just made me very tired & irritable... it can wait!
Hope your ok OP

It is shameful that bullying in the form of fat shaming is so prevalent on here these days. Frankly it doesn't matter how much anyone weighs, how tall they are, what colour their skin, hair, eyes are....it truely should be about the person inside and yet when it comes to people who are overweight the whole fucking world thinks it can judge.

If someone wants to lose weight then it is up to them. They should do it for themselves and not for bullying, abusive husbands or posters on MN. And as fat people pay taxes they are as entitled as slim people to use the NHS.

The judgement needs to stop. It leads to unhappy people, mental health issues, eating disorders; girls who end up with fucked up attitudes towards food and eating and spend too much time obsessing over body image rather than enjoying their youth and their life.

@SuperMedium

BarboreJacket it's lucky you can live with being a dick.

He bought her a take away so that he could mock and taunt her while she ate it. That isn't touching a nerve that's deliberate cruel premeditated bullying, no matter what she weighs or how she feels about it.

You are either being deliberately obtuse or are genuinely unable to think through situations.

Nobody hates small and slender people, they dislike people who completely unnecessary write "I'm tiny" to a woman being taunted about her weight by the father of her 6 month old baby. This isn't about you, nobody cares what you weigh and declaring that you weigh 7 stone was never going to be helpful or relevant to someone in the OP's position unless you'd followed it up with an anecdote about a close family member bullying you in the same way despite being "tiny". As it is your post can only come across as a mix of gloating and schadenfreude.

This! @BarboreJacket you were being a right prick with your self-congratulatory post about how "tiny" you are and how amazing you were having the willpower to lose weight. WHY would you say this to a woman struggling with her weight?

Getting back to the OP's husband, I shut my cat out of the room so that I get peace to eat. Suggest you do this with your husband, OP.

Is there more to this? Was he nice to you before having the baby? You need to think about yourself and your children because he doesn’t sound like he’s a caring, supportive husband. Sorry to say that. You’ll deal with the weight issue when and if you want to. That’s your choice, not his. If he’s been like this to you for a while it may be worth questioning whether he’s a part of your future or not.

How much does he weigh?? That’s how much weight you need to lose.

Idiot, hes a big bully.

Stop complaining about your weight, and he'll stop be a twat.

My ex would often go on about my weight but she'd be the one wearing spanx! After a few weeks of her jibes, I simply said ... I ain't the one trying to hide in big girls knickers n spanx. ... Of.course I was the bad one as usual!

If.you don't want him going.on, then you need to stop complaining.

Accept you weight n size, and eventually it'll go down without you noticing.

Go out by some bigger clothes when he's not about, and stop complaining nothing fits etc. Get rid of the labels before he sees.

Make a pact... You won't keep complaining, if he will stop nagging every time you eat.

He knows how self conscious you feel about your weight and lack of body confidence. He shouldn't mock you like that. It's purile bullying behaviour. He needs to grow up.

I am sorry OP ; what an obnoxious man.

He sounds awful OP.

I’m rather overweight. My DP has a bit of a do at me now and again because I’m diabetic and the thought of me getting really ill scares him. However, not once has he EVER mocked me at meal times. He prefers I eat as otherwise it’s pointless taking my meds. Your “D”H is an arse!

He's being a cunt. Tell him to pack it in.

At WW or Slimming World, what he’s doing is known as sabotage. I would add that’s it’s actually emotionally abusive. What you need is for him to ask “what can I do to support you eating healthily?” If hes unable to see how negative his behaviour is, I’d suggest counselling with Relate. Oh and tell him from he’s a knobjockey.

He sounds pathetic and insufferable so put it mildly. Seriously. What a total wanker.
I assume his body is carved by the heavens above?