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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

297 replies

loreleigilmore28 · 06/06/2020 17:57

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

OP posts:
Noconceptofnormal · 07/06/2020 19:30

I would go nuclear. Just say if he makes one more comment about either your weight or what you're eating you'll leave,and mean it.

Rarely on Mumsnet do you get 10 pages of people saying someone's a cunt.

But he's a cunt. Consider whether you want to stay with him even if he does stop the comments.

Songsofexperience · 07/06/2020 19:30

You are just putting the blame onto your OH when it is up to you to stop stuffing snacks or takeaways, stop the moaning - instead of being on here trying to get sympathy from the group of fat, feminazis on MN.

Bet you're a fat slob yourself

roarfeckingroar · 07/06/2020 19:31

MRA*

Noconceptofnormal · 07/06/2020 19:32

Ignore the boring, silly troll glennamy

Lilgigi · 07/06/2020 19:42

Dear OP.. let me begin by telling you how skinny I was prior to pregnancy almost between size to 4 and 6. And I am short. However I ballooned ... I enjoyed my pregnancy I enjoyed eating during .and after . ( since I felt no feeling of nausea or vomiting or anything related to pregnancy.. only symptom was my belly growing bigger) I became a size 14 whilst being pregnancy. However he absolutely loves me like that and I naturally lost weight after my two pregnancy. Needless to say I did panic in between .. but not him .. he kept telling me how much he loved me. I am now a size 8 and he still says he loves me. If he was lying I would know .. so if your husband has a problem with you he is definitely telling you In not the best way. My husband often nags me in a sarcastic way when he wants something done which was not getting done ... which means I definitely don’t do it.

Just to add to this .. I cannot tell you how incredibly shallow my husband is .. but that’s another story. How I looked during and post pregnancy over rode this shallowness and I was pleasantly surprised.

All the best OP .. stay strong. I always believe we have to be strong for ourselves. Don’t depend on anyone.

randomer · 07/06/2020 19:47

size 14? Thats absolutely disgusting. How could you?

dottiedodah · 07/06/2020 19:48

I think this is unforgivable behaviour TBH! He is not "in charge" of you in any way the rude idiot.Tell him you will eat your food and enjoy it .Is he controlling in any other ways?

highmarkingsnowbile · 07/06/2020 19:50

He's very classic! Negs you and then when you call him out on it he rounds on you and gaslights you and cries foul - you were rude and disrespectful! Waa, I'm going to go and pout.

Don't fall for it.

It's bullying behaviour.

Grey rock him. Tell him comments about what you eat are bullying behaviour and unacceptable.

Notenoughchocolateomg · 07/06/2020 19:55

He's a tosser.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 07/06/2020 20:04

"feminazi"? 😂 I haven't heard that in years

FelicisNox · 07/06/2020 20:07

Nothing to add.

He clearly does have an issue with your weight and your acknowledgment of your weight issue has triggered an avalanche of inappropriate behaviour from your DH.

When you speak to him next tell him exactly that and tell in no uncertain terms that you will not stand for him fat shaming you or making you feel guilty every time you eat something.

Your weight is YOUR business and not his. You will sort your weight out when you're ready and until then he can shape up.or ship out. Pardon the pun.

Lilgigi · 07/06/2020 20:18

@randomer you sound as shallow as my Husband..

Lilgigi · 07/06/2020 20:21

Also @randomer we are trying to Address OP’s issue and not mine Hmm

TheSmelliestHouse · 07/06/2020 20:26

Horribly rude

Crumpetsforthequeen · 07/06/2020 20:36

I had an ex who would make me eat loads and then stand me naked in front of a mirror naked and then tell me everything that was wrong with me, how fat I am.

Now I have issue eating, I don't eat and find it very stressful to eat infront of others, please don't let him continue this, stand you ground that what he's doing is wrong, would he like it if you did it to him? No he wouldn't!

Men have no idea what having a baby does to your body, for months afterwards, it's not OK so don't let him do it.

Tell him it makes you feel like shit, you've nothing to apologise for!

Really hope you're ok and it gets sorted 💐

DareDevil223 · 07/06/2020 20:40

@Crumpetsforthequeen

How awful for you, what a bastard. Flowers

PintOfGin · 07/06/2020 21:01

Wow i.could not stay with someone that had that little respect for me. That's terrible!

Pumpertrumper · 07/06/2020 21:24

I have a 3 month old DS.
No weight gain from pregnancy but the breast feeding hunger hit me hard!
If DH made a single comment/action/mockery like you’ve listed he’d be sleeping on a camp bed in the garage!

SkaterGrrrrl · 08/06/2020 00:04

Please read this book:

fat is a feminist issue

QueSera · 08/06/2020 00:10

Why the hell have you married this guy. He's not a nice person.

DollyDally · 08/06/2020 00:50

Sorry, he sounds very unkind. I hope you feel as though you can address thus x

Celestine70 · 08/06/2020 01:44

What a dick. Join a gym or class. Go in the evening and leave him to mind the kids. But do it for you not him.

OhioOhioOhio · 08/06/2020 01:52

Get rid of him.

GarlicSoup · 08/06/2020 02:03

Sounds like the only ‘weight‘ you need to lose is him. LTB

Nat6999 · 08/06/2020 02:10

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