Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

297 replies

loreleigilmore28 · 06/06/2020 17:57

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

OP posts:
InspectorCludo · 06/06/2020 18:12

You both need to apologise and mean it
No idea what the OP needs to apologise for?!

Taking the mick out of someone eating, who has confided that they feel insecure about their body, is a pretty nasty thing to do.
The comment ‘oh look at you, you can’t wait’ like OP is some sort of greedy pig.

I’m just hoping your not going to come back with the dreaded “but he’s a great dad” comment. He sounds like an arse. Hope someone with experience of something similar will be along soon OP, all I feel is rage on your behalf.

MortyFide · 06/06/2020 18:12

My DH isn't like this but my DM was! And my brother too. It's given me terrible hang ups about food and I'm 4 stone overweight.

You were right to call him out on it and you don't owe him an apology. He's too blind to see he's being a dick.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 06/06/2020 18:12

He thinks he's funny. I think he's about as funny as a pube in a trifle. Twat.

bunnyplops · 06/06/2020 18:13

He sounds like a massive twat. How lovely of him to treat you this way after growing and birthing his child.

I'm sorry to read that he has the audacity to call you disrespectful and has not even apologised. He should be mortified by his behaviour. If losing weight is something you want to do why hasn't he shown an interest and help to support you in the matter?

xTinkerhellx · 06/06/2020 18:14

Eat the Bastard.

Onekidnoclue · 06/06/2020 18:15

He’s a twat.
I think there’s a tiny change he thinks he’s being encouraging of your diet but is just going about it in a mega cunty way.
Flowers

sonjadog · 06/06/2020 18:15

He is bullying you, and now he wants to make it your fault. He needs to get his act together and apologize to you fast. If he won't, I think you may need to think about if this is what you want to life with.

CrotchetyQuaver · 06/06/2020 18:16

YANBU. Do not back down.

fascinated · 06/06/2020 18:17

He’s a bastard.

cardibach · 06/06/2020 18:17

Anyone who says ‘nom nom nom’ in any context whatsoever needs a slap and cutting off with no further contact. (Disclaimer: I don’t mean actual violence).
Your DH is being Completely horrible and rude.

Evasmummy2019 · 06/06/2020 18:18

I feel you! I also had my baby the end of December and I put on 4st during pregnancy. I went from 11st to 15st and now I'm struggling to lose the last 2st. My husband isn't supportive at all and I don't want to eat in front of him anymore be he looks at me and comments on the amount and type of foods I'm consuming. I've just started slimfast and have lost 4lb in a week so I'm getting there. But I'm not doing it for him. I'd suggest ignoring the shit out of him and eating separately xx good luck

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 06/06/2020 18:19

He sounds like a bully Sad

Purpleartichoke · 06/06/2020 18:19

This is bordering on abuse.

I’m not sure the best way to address it. My starting thought is that I wouldn’t want to speak to him or sleep near him until he issues a massive apology.

Samtsirch · 06/06/2020 18:20

He is bullying you about your weight when you have not long had a baby.A supportive partner would suggest both of you starting a new healthy eating and exercise plan.
I would point out to him that his cruel and bullying behaviour is unacceptable and you would hope for a far better role model for your children.
Also I would do what pp suggest, get your own take away and enjoy it.

Dinomom52 · 06/06/2020 18:20

YADNBU.

I’d stab him with the fucking fork

Littleshortcake · 06/06/2020 18:21

This is awful. I would really stay away from him as much as you can for a long time. Go out tomorrow and let him sit at home and think.

Pomegranatemolasses · 06/06/2020 18:24

YANBU. How cruel of him. It's blatantly abusive behaviour.

GenevaL · 06/06/2020 18:24

Vile. He’s consciously taking aim at your weakest, most vulnerable spot, and repeatedly. The only reason anyone would ever do that is to cause hurt. Ask him why he’s suddenly taking such pleasure in being vindictive to the woman he’s supposed to love.

TenLun89 · 06/06/2020 18:25

I'm pregnant and 10lb heavier than I s with my first, this made me get teary. I'd be so upset if my DH spoke to me like this

LillianBland · 06/06/2020 18:25

in my experience men don't take hints, think outside the box or read between the lines!

You need to hang around with better men, in that case. Why the fuck should a woman have to explain to a full grown man that he is being disrespectful and cruel? He’s an adult, not a four year old.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/06/2020 18:26

He sounds like a bully.

Likethebattle · 06/06/2020 18:26

He’d be wearing any meals he commented on. I’m overweight but DH never comments on my eating habits.

Roselilly36 · 06/06/2020 18:26

That’s just so unkind OP, try to ignore him.

Euclid · 06/06/2020 18:26

He sounds awful and completely disrespectful of you.

SmileEachDay · 06/06/2020 18:27

That is horrible behaviour. He knows this is something that you’re not happy about and he’s capitalising on that to belittle and upset you.

How is the rest of your relationship?