DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

[loreleigilmore28]

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

Oh lovely, you’ve had a baby six months ago, he needs to be kind.
I’ve struggled after my second, it’s so much harder to bounce back and lose weight, and in lockdown wine is my friend 🤣🤣
My DH is supportive and has grown his own belly to match 🙈 but in all seriousness I think you need to sit down with him and talk it all through. I think he’d be devastated if he knew how he had made you feel?

He's a horrible bully.

God this could be my 'D' H

God this could be my 'D' H

@ILikeyourHairyHands Hang on a sec. I left my husband because he abused our children. It has taken me five years to get back onto a reasonably even keel. How am I saying my relationship is so great?

Anything to do with how I look or my weight is to do with me, not to do with any man. That was kind of my point.

@Seaweed42

A lot of people bullying BarboreJacket now because she dared to say she was 7st. She was making the point that you can get bullied no matter what you weigh. That it's not about the OPs size. This is not about weight. The weight was just a vehicle for him to take the opportunity to take a pop at her. It gives him a 'reason'. A way in to hurt her. The fact that it is sustained over time is worrying. It wasn't just a once off mood with an apology the same day.

Not bullying. People are calling her out on the smug/judgemental tone of her posts. ('I would have to decide: do I care what I look like?' WTAF??! To say nothing of the unnecessary repetition of 'tiny'.)

Spot on @SuperMedium

ExtraSyllableno she isn't! There was absolutely no reason for her to try to make the thread about her completely unrelated situation, and she's as obtuse as a human can be if she interprets baiting and mocking as fair enough if it's about something the target is unhappy with!

If someone were being followed down the street and taunted by teenagers for having big breasts would you/ she ask if they'd touched a nerve? Would you/ she suggest that those who engage in sexual harassment are only arses if their target likes the way she looks but not if she doesn't - if not it's fair enough and up to her to get a breast reduction operation...

I find the best way to lose weight is to get somebody to jump my bones twice daily. Preferably not the dickhead you’re currently living with.

I have been on MN for 20 years, btw, so know that small and slender people are loathed on here

or just goady twats maybe?

I'm not Barbore, I'm saying I don't give advice to people in a this is how great I am, look how I easily solved this to questions they didn't ask.

I wss just using it as an illustration of the point rather than something you did.

(Well bloody done for ditching the abusive ex though).

Look... anyway there's some other shit going down here. The woman is getting punished for something. And he's found something to hurt her with. Probably because she didn't feel like having his cocktail sausage poked inside her last night or something.
Or she doesn't make diddums his mashed potatoes the same way his teenchy tiny mother does or something

My little finger is tiny , if that helps.

OP, I can even more see why it's tricky, if your husband's mum is a size 8 despite having had five children. She's presumably just a small person who has either made an effort to remain slim or who is just made that way.

If you are 5 foot 10 and a size 16, you may well be in proportion. My DD is taller than you and the same dress size (she takes after XH and his family - XH was 6 foot 4 and heavily built). She is perfect.

My original question was to do with whether you are happy as you are. If you are, your husband should do one. If you're not, and he's touched a nerve, that's a different matter.

Oh, and thanks for the kind words re horrible ex, @ILikeyourHairyHands

Just tell him he's being a twat and then ignore.

What a twat!

My husband is very health conscious and has put some weight on during lockdown (we both have). I give him a similar response as you got "Do something if it's bothering you" but that's all I say on the matter. I offer him food the same and don't say anything if he indulges or declines.
It's awful that he's using this insecurity against you. Weight is such a sensitive issue. He knows this. He knows what he's doing.

This has enraged me. How dare he?! I'd be so angry. You've not long given birth either. I'm slim and don't have a huge appetite so this isn't even about how I'd feel personally. Rude!

Make similar comments about his bald spot or the size of his penis.

The thing is, do you sit and whinge about your weight? My dh is a bit overweight and occasionally goes on diets, at the moment he's stuffing his mouth with a pack of crisps after a Chinese earlier. He IS greedy, that is why he's fat, end of.

Too many women blame baby weight, I've had 4 babies, you know what's happened? My tits are like flat empty pouches of shit, otherwise my figure is no different. Why? Frankly, I'm not greedy.

I would tell him I was comfort eating as I live with such a twat who is making my life miserable.

Then, if you want to lose weight find a programme and follow it. But do this for you, your health, your body and your satisfaction only.

Stop talking to him about weight and food and tell him the topic is off limits now.

How he responds to all of this will help you decide what you are going to do long term with his undermining and quite nasty behaviour.

Wow what a cunt! You should have chicked the food over his head! He sounds abusive!

People who love you don't bully you, they don't have it in them.

@TheCanyon Do you not think that if the baby is only 6 months old, that you can blame baby weight? Lots of things impact a woman’s ability to bounce back to her Pre baby weight in the first year or two. Lack of sleep, no support system, time to prepare healthy food or even exercise are important factors that can impact this. If the child was 6 that’s a different matter, but 6 months is still very early.

@BarboreJacket The reason I used the words “average adult woman” was because I had no idea about your height or body type. At 5ft, you are below average height and your weight is relative to this. At no point did I body shame you in my post so please don’t insinuate that I was bullying you.