DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

[loreleigilmore28]

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

[scheffsm]

Absolute prick.
He is a nasty bully.
I couldn't live with someone speaking to me like that.

[ilikemethewayiam]

@LizzieVereker

Kill him and eat him.

🤣🤣🤣

[Butternutsqoosh]

Sounds like an absolute fuckwit - get rid

[Moomin12345]

We all who the 1% voting "YABU" is... What a tool.

[StormBaby]

I think you should start doing the same back.
I'd be thinking personally that he wants you to fail so you can stay bigger. Low self esteem on his part.

[WellDidYa]

@AFireInJuly

No YANBU. I HATE anyone commenting on what I eat. I don't have a weight issue, but I just hate it, it makes me feel really self-conscious. It's rude. My husband does it a bit - although in a jokey way. He'll go "Oh, chocolate? Ooo-ooh." I just flip out and tell him to shut up, and that I'll eat what the fuck I want. He doesn't get in a strop about it, because he knows he was pushing his luck even saying anything.

Ditto, if I finish my meal earlier than DH I get "you were hungry...." I know he doesn't mean it to be mean, or judgey, but i don't like it

[Kdubs1981]

@Onekidnoclue wins the internet today.

Dick head behaviour from your husband OP

[YeahJackie]

That's really unkind of him. good for you for standing up for yourself.

[Topseyt]

Don’t apologise. He is an arse.

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

I'd pack his stuff in black bags and tell him I was getting rid of my dead weight.

[TypingError]

My husband worked away during the week and I was home with my SEN 3 year old and and my 3 month old daughters. I'd put on loads of weight from pregnancy and being virtually confined to home for the duration.
No relatives or grandparents to call on for support. I was literally doing everything myself. He came home one Friday evening and I'd had no time to cook or shop and said if he wanted food he'd need to go get us a takeaway.

He said he'd cook us something healthy while he talked to the babies in their bouncy chairs and I went off and had a glass of wine.
He'd been thinking we both needed to lose a bit of weight.
Thing is, he was slender, fit and healthy. There was no way he needed to lose weight and I said so. "Ah but," he said "I'm eating a load of crap during the week and I'd like to have something a bit more healthy at home. I'll do the cooking"

BUT I WANT A CHINESE NOW!! says me.
OK I'll go get us one, says he. "It was just a thought"

So I had my Chinese take away and I enjoyed it. But the next day it did start me thinking about making better choices regarding food.
It became standard that he did all the cooking while he was at home.
And I became more aware that it's easy to eat crap when you're inundated with responsibilities.

Maybe I was manipulated. I never actually asked if that was his intention. But he most definitely never made any reference to it and I did eventually lose the weight.

Now - if he'd brought me a take away and then sat and made fun of me while I ate it, mocked me while I ate it, or made me feel like I shouldn't be eating what I'm eating, that's quite malicious.

If my husband had blown his cheeks out and done "nom nom nom"
and 'meant' it as mockery, he would be my ex husband now. There would be no love left.

Only you know if it was a jokey thing you can overlook.

[TypingError]

You both need to apologise and mean it

No. He needs to apologise. And mean it.

[gluteustothemaximus]

What an absolute pig.

It takes support to lose weight, not piss taking.

[Trying2310]

He is an absolute dick.

[LannieDuck]

How would he react if you started making pointed comments about how much he eats? Or how fast he eats? Or what he eats? Or commenting every time he has a snack/dessert/alcohol?

Would he be annoyed by it? Of course he would. And you're absolutely right to be annoyed by it too.

[2beautifulbabs]

What an arsehole I'm glad my DH was never like this with me two DCs later my body has taken a massive knock I've got massive saggy stomach after c section and split stomach muscles don't help the look of my tummy I also gained far too much weight.
Almost over a year since the birth of my DD am I now trying to slowly lose the weight but I was pushed to for my own health reasons not by my DH or anyone else. Never once has any one or my DH made snide remarks at what I ate and how much I chose to eat it's hard going when you have little ones and sometimes it just boils down to getting through the day even if that's on sugar rush or eating late at night when the DCs are in bed.

Your DH sounds horrible to you he should be supportive not mean

[Marleymoo42]

You are not being unreasonable.

If he likes this I wouldn't share any weight loss goals with him as it makes it ok in his mind to comment on your eating. You gave birth 6 months ago, have 2 small children to look after and it's lockdown. You dont need to be worrying about losing weight yet you just need to worry about being happy. If you want to lose weight, that's great but you dont need his permission for a treat.

[slangofoillmochara]

Kick him in the dick and tell him to fuck off

[melmos]

Firstly op dont worry it's horrible gaining weight makes you feel so out of control of something that society keeps saying is your control which makes it worse - however it happens to most people so dont feel bad at all! My first ever ltb. I realise that sound a bit much but he sounds awful. Weight is so personal and emotive - I am currently struggling with a bit of weight gain and my dp has been so nice saying I look lovely (normally while having a quick feel which I know wont go down well with some mumsnetters but makes me feel a bit less like a beached whale!) If he did this I'd be in tears and probably take me and dogs to hotel. He knows its upsetting you and hes taking the piss about it. If you arent ready to pack your bags I'd sit him down tell him what you wrote in your op and ask him why he thinks this behaviour is acceptable and if not why he has been doing it. If it continues it's time to kick this loser to curb

[Billben]

Holy cow, what vile behaviour. Do not apologise for losing it with him.

[buggeroffvirus]

Abusive, I really do not know who some people think they are.
Its belittling to say the least.
No wonder you are pissed off. That sort of thing would just make me want to eat more. Just tell him that's its not big and its not clever.
Maybe he should be careful what he wishes for.
Perhaps you will become very slim and utterly gorgeous and leave him for someone with some sense.

[Mangofandangoo]

My best friends DH does this to her, she isn't overweight but he seems to enjoy tormenting her about food.

It's abuse.

If he cared how you felt at-all he would encourage you to lose weight In a healthy way without humiliating you in the process.

[randomchatter]

Glad to hear you pushed back OP. Why would he want you to feel like sh!t?

[BarboreJacket]

How overweight are you, OP?

I am tiny (7 stone) and put on 4 stone with each pregnancy (all my DC were 9.5lb and bigger). I made a huge effort to lose it each time, though, as I was not going to use pregnancy as a reason to be overweight.

If you're happy the way you are, then your husband is an arse and should FOTTFSOF. The question is, though, whether or not you are happy with the way you are. If you are not, he has just touched a nerve, and it could perhaps be your cue to do something about it.

[Smallsteps88]

My Ex did this.

EX.

EX!