DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

[loreleigilmore28]

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

[Anydreamwilldo12]

What a bastard. Did he just offer a takeaway just so he could be nasty about it. Twat?

[LivingThatLockdownLife]

It's abusive behaviour to get you a takeaway then belittle and mock you while you eat it.

I imagine a huge drip feed is coming about how you do all the childcare and cleaning. And have separate bank accounts where he won't let you access his earnings and expects you to buy everything for the DC out of your mat pay.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Eat him.

[AmericanAdventure]

I agree this red flag behaviour. He mocked you. You told him it upset you. He tried to claim you were unreasonable. Classic gaslighting.

[Trevsadick]

He is a dick. A total dick.

But in fairness I find really annoying when people constantly complain about things but then actively leave themselves in the same situation.

Thats said, why offer to get a takeaway? If he didn't think you should have it.

[pointythings]

You have nothing to apologise for, OP. Once your H has come out of his pathetic man sulks, you sit him down and calmly tell him that you will lose weight in your own way, in your own time, and that any further comments will not be tolerated.

Then if he does it again, you get rid. He needs to learn to be respectful and supportive and if he can't, he doesn't deserve you.

[DavetheCat2001]

He sounds like a controlling prick OP

[AnotherEmma]

He sounds abusive.

www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2268977-The-Abuser-Profiles

[JamieLeeCurtains]

He's very, very wrong. And unlikeable, I'd have thought.

[randomer]

You have a toddler (?) and you had a baby in December, months before a pandemic, you have held it together and cared for the 2 little ones.....and he is being a knob about food????

Er, no.

[DuckALaurent]

What a knob. Massive controlling red flags too.
He’s a twat yet blames you for it. I’m angry for you.

[MulticolourMophead]

@Anydreamwilldo12

What a bastard. Did he just offer a takeaway just so he could be nasty about it. Twat?

Given his comments, I wouldn't be surprised. My ex would be like this.

[Bananalanacake]

Why are so many men like this! only a few days ago there was a thread where the op was living with her STBex and he would 'flip out' at her eating what she wanted. No fucking MAN ever has a say over what you eat, if I were unfortunate enough to have one like this I would make a show of enjoying crisps and chocolate in front of him while saying 'this is lovely, I'm going to eat this every day' just to see how the bastard reacts before telling him to fuck off.

[stuckindoors77]

Oh op this made me cringe for you, it's horrible behaviour that is subtly controlling and can be easily disguised to others as "joking" or "helpful"

I lived with somebody like this when ds was tiny, I've ended up with a really disordered relationship with food and a secret eating problem that I'm struggling to shake.

Don't let him do this to you!

[Mrsmadevans]

Sounds like he considers himself Commander of the cupboards OP

[B1rdbra1n]

He mocked you. You told him it upset you. He tried to claim you were unreasonable. Classic gaslighting
^this

[Caterinaballerina]

Go on a diet which consists of all the food items he dislikes, what a nob!

[Parker231]

Eat your meals on your own or with the DC’s. Everyone should be able to enjoy their meals without rude comments.

[MingeofDeath]

Is your husband a chiseled Adonis with a perfect body? If not tell him to fuck off.

[Davespecifico]

He’s got to be like this in other ways. How else is he horrible to you?
I would consider whether or not you can be happy with him long term.

[SummerDayWinterEvenings]

Mine would be getting divorce papers -arsehole. You've just had his baby -you have a reason -what's his reason for being an A hole.

[Nottherealslimshady]

What a nasty prick.
My step dad is like this. Eats shit and is obese. But if you say your dieting he takes the piss to no end. If you eat healthily he takes the piss. If you eat a treat or a meal he perceives to be unhealthy he takes the piss.
"What the fuck has it got to do with you" works a treat

[NaviSprite]

Gaslighting arsehole (and many other words I could type but I’ll be here all evening!).

Does he ever consider what your body has been through twice to have yours and his children? Does he acknowledge in any way how rough pregnancy is on a woman’s body?

The one time my DH felt the need to comment on my choice of food post birth (twins) he was being daft but it got my back up sufficiently to react as you describe.

Its like he’s enjoying this control as some kind of moral fucking high-ground - I’m angry on your behalf and he needs to really think about what a vile bully he’s been and if he can’t see it, I’d be considering my options OP

[polkadotpjs]

Mine is like this on occasion until I remind him what a twat he's being. He can't get his head around me wanting to lose weight but wanting to eat chocolate more than that sometimes. (He's not thin by the way but because he doesn't moan about his weight , it's ok apparently)

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

That would really piss me off too OP. Don't apologise. Making snidey comments isn't being supportive.