To think women's lives don't matter...

[DragonTrainedByLucy]

Warning I am incredibly fucked off with the World right for several reasons so apologies for the rant.

I literally am getting slammed left, right and centre for not being vocal on social media about Black Lives Matter and for not attending any of the three local protests (I am shielding, but supposedly it's OK to go because social distancing measure are in place). I'm also concerned due to the high proportionality of members from the BAME community due to COVID and the fact the R number has risen close to 1.

I supported #blackouttuesday - I got it wrong, I did the black square but I also did two posts on inspirational BAME employers in the two sectors I work in (this was supposedly the wrong bit). I got abuse.

What has really hacked me off though is that some of the people who are having a go at me for the lack of support to the #BLM movement are people who have sat next to me whilst I've been on the receiving end of really severe mysoginistic abuse and really serious abuse relating to gender identity (I have a trauma diagnosis that leads to gender identity confusion). These are not one off times, it's been multiple occasions.

Generally wondering where the support has been for women for the last three years (and all women, regardless of race, but this does also impact women from BAME communities negatively).

Have I missed it? If I have can someone please point me to the circles on where I will find where/how the female support happens because I really need it right now.

Also to all the BAME community, I am sorry for the continued shit you have to go to - I have donated (through three of the various links). I hope this ends with better outcomes for you all.

Most (men) are profoundly disinterested in women's causes.

That's true, but didn't your mum ever tell you 2 wrongs don't make a right?
George Floyd was murdered by state officials, in full few of bystanders, and the murderers thought they could get away with it.
That level of disregard for a human life BY THE VERY PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT US is worth stopping the world for, no matter who protests this and doesn't protest other injustice.

Due to the death of George Floyd the current zeitgeist is such that right now, much headway can be made in BLM.

As PP have pointed out, the #MeToo movement had a similar zeitgeist and there have been other protests regarding women's rights in the past few years: Pro-Choice rallies and protests around the Ulster Rugby Rape trial outcome. Zeitgeist gives momentum to causes, it doesnt make others go away, but it is an opportunity to cover more ground than usual.

That's true, but didn't your mum ever tell you 2 wrongs don't make a right

Don't preach to me. I put my money where my mouth is when it comes to black causes.

Just a shame men don't turn around and show women the same solidarity.

And again, who covers the ground when the zeitgeist hits? How many men saw the news about rising rates of DV and thought, gee, I might just pop on over to the local women's shelter fundraising page and donate half my paycheck this week, they're going to need it. Not bloody many.

Zeitgeist Thank you, I've learnt a new word as well.

That level of disregard for a human life BY THE VERY PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT US

This is exactly it. If you're being attacked on the street, you expect the police to come to your rescue, for example. But so many people can't even trust the police, so who do they turn to?

(And in the case of America, if a black person did use their gun to defend them self, they'd end up behind bars, or worse on death row. There's nowhere to turn.)

And again, who covers the ground when the zeitgeist hits? How many men saw the news about rising rates of DV and thought, gee, I might just pop on over to the local women's shelter fundraising page and donate half my paycheck this week, they're going to need it. Not bloody many

DV rates and femicide rates amongst the black community on the Staes are sky high.

DV rates and femicide rates amongst the black community on the Staes are sky high.

What point are you making here YetAnotherSpartacus?

The thing about whataboutery is that it can be applied to any other oppressed group. June is pride month, the LGBT+ community is still being subjugated globally, gay marriage is still illegal in several countries around the world, society is still very heteronormative and yet we are protesting for Black lives because it is what needs our attention right now

DV rates and femicide rates amongst the black community on the Staes are sky high

Be great to see some money pouring out of white male pockets into shelters that serve majority black female populations, as a reponse to the zeitgeist.

I also long to see serious money going into black women's maternity care.

The larger point is around solidarity. That as women, we offer it, but we rarely receive it.

Be great to see some money pouring out of white male pockets into shelters that serve majority black female populations, as a reponse to the zeitgeist

And black men doing more to prevent violence against women in black communities.

But why is BLM more important than Women?

They aren’t, OP. For one thing, BLM includes women who are the victims of police violence - Breonna Taylor has (rightly) been all over social media because she was brutally murdered in her bed by police officers who had mistaken her for someone involved in a drugs incident.

But more importantly - the BLM movement is a conversation which is long, long overdue. It doesn’t take away from the importance of women’s lives to protest as loudly as we can about BLM. Nothing will ever change if we dilute that by saying ‘what about this instead?’

You can and should campaign to the best of your ability about women’s rights. But don’t use BLM as a springboard for that. You don’t need to take away from one movement to sustain another.

And if you are really being hounded by people you know for not protesting while you’re shielding, it sounds like you need to have a think about who you have as friends and why you put up with awful people. Most people don’t behave that way, and you deserve better - you don’t need to put up with people treating you like that.

The Woman's March just after Trump's inauguration was the biggest global single day of protest in recent history. I assume you were there OP?

Breonna Taylor and Belly Mujinga are just a few of the black women being talked about at every BLM protest. Is the issue that they're not white women being talked about?

And black men doing more to prevent violence against women in black communities

Yes, that too.

My own domestic abuser was a man of colour. He liked to think colonialism excused his abuse of me. It didn't.

My own domestic abuser was a man of colour. He liked to think colonialism excused his abuse of me. It didn't

Mine wasn't an abuser, but the constant putting forward of issues related to race and BAME and minimising issues of sexism irked me. This included him 'acknowledging' the fact that his father beat his mother, but not realising its significance. similar patterns amongst his friends. Saw a lot of violence against women that was excused. I left, pretty much.

The blackout has caused lots of issues.

The problem with posting a black screen or white people sharing posts from black people had a negative impact.

Feeds were full of black screens. Or content from bame contributors but only the more popular ones, but only with white endorsement. The voices of normal bame people were, again, drowned out.

Lots of people asked allies to not post at all, knowing this would happen. Op its not your fault but I get why people were annoyed how it played out.

Saw a lot of violence against women that was excused

Kind of taboo to discuss, really.

I did move a question over to Feminism, though, as more appropriare to discuss there? and would be interested in your thoughts.

The black square was performative. I agree with that.

I agree Jane. Taboo and more appropriate to discuss there. I’m going offline, but will be back.

Thanks, YetAnotherSpartacus

These demonstrations are killing people. It's outrageous that the police have effectively given the streets up to allow people to ignore social distancing and spread a killer virus all backed up by the virtual signalling who were up in arms at beach dwellers last week.

@MadameMarie

I've been thinking that. And this is a virus that impacts disproportionately on the BAME community as well. It's noticeable that Trump stopped caring about the pandemic once it became clear that this was the case.

Womens lives matter, you're right that often misogymy is unchallenged.
Black lives matter too, your sm friends sound nuts expecting you to march if youre vulnerable and critising your posts.
I'd distance myself from sm for now. Im sorry you've had such a rough time, youre understandably hurt and angry and it isnt fair that certain groups get lot of support and publicity and others go unnoticed.

A recent article addressing this
time.com/5847970/police-brutality-black-women-girls/

It really appears that you are suddenly enraged about the lack of protests (you knew about) for women and that this is a reaction to the protests for BLM. That's why it appears distasteful at the moment. Why are you now deciding to get mad at something that didn't happen the way you wanted it to years ago? You have to realise that it comes across as 'but what about us' when the spotlight it quite rightly being shone on the hideous prejudices black people face every single day, generation after generation.
You're mad at someone? Everyone? Who? Who didn't organise the protest you wanted? Who is to blame for that? Your post is tone deaf. Just let the focus be on BLM until some real changes are made. Otherwise you just look like an angry person shouting, 'but what about me, where's my march?' during a huge, global movement that is long overdue and will hopefully bring about some life-altering changes for millions of people, half of them women.