To think women's lives don't matter...

[DragonTrainedByLucy]

Warning I am incredibly fucked off with the World right for several reasons so apologies for the rant.

I literally am getting slammed left, right and centre for not being vocal on social media about Black Lives Matter and for not attending any of the three local protests (I am shielding, but supposedly it's OK to go because social distancing measure are in place). I'm also concerned due to the high proportionality of members from the BAME community due to COVID and the fact the R number has risen close to 1.

I supported #blackouttuesday - I got it wrong, I did the black square but I also did two posts on inspirational BAME employers in the two sectors I work in (this was supposedly the wrong bit). I got abuse.

What has really hacked me off though is that some of the people who are having a go at me for the lack of support to the #BLM movement are people who have sat next to me whilst I've been on the receiving end of really severe mysoginistic abuse and really serious abuse relating to gender identity (I have a trauma diagnosis that leads to gender identity confusion). These are not one off times, it's been multiple occasions.

Generally wondering where the support has been for women for the last three years (and all women, regardless of race, but this does also impact women from BAME communities negatively).

Have I missed it? If I have can someone please point me to the circles on where I will find where/how the female support happens because I really need it right now.

Also to all the BAME community, I am sorry for the continued shit you have to go to - I have donated (through three of the various links). I hope this ends with better outcomes for you all.

Are you saying you want female support? That's great, there are groups for women to support each other.

It's a discrete issue from BLM though, you need to separate those. Black communities need to be supported without anyone saying "what about my group?" It can seem like saying "I support you, but..." which is wrong.

@PipGirl404 it's very clear that I am talking about why things haven't happened in the past and why the same level of outrage wasn't (past tense) there.

I am a huge supporter of BAME communities across both the fields I work in (hence the two "wrong" posts on Black Out Tuesday supporting those in those two fields)... I am not racist, I have supported the cause, but after getting flamed for doing it publicly and getting it wrong, I have done it in "quieter" ways - through donations.

Thanks for the Link sorry! I am definitely not planning on doing anything this week - the platform rightly needs to be held for BLM but I think it's still ok for me to question why it hasn't been held previously for women, with the specific example being Breonna Taylor (there are many, many more).

FWIW, the idea of Blackouttuesday was to only post the square and no other posts
It really wasn’t, Shirley. That was a misunderstanding. It came from the music industry first and the idea was to make space for black creative voices, as described in the image.

Who are you angry at OP?
The fact that nobody did else did anything about it either?

1. Block those people abusing you on SM for posting what they regard the wrong thing.

1. Campaign for BLM

1. Campaign for women’s rights.

You don’t have to pit them against each other.

@Everythingsgoingmyway Why was it a different issue?

You are being racist in trying to get away from the sentiments behind and reason for the statement Black Lives Matter. What you are doing is what most men and some women do when someone puts their head above the parapet and talks about sexism and misogyny, when they immediately come back with ' NAMALT' ( not all men are like that) or MEVT (men experience violence too). You are negating the point being made. Oppression is often intersectional- so you can be oppressed multiply all at once e.g. you can be black and female, you can be black female and gay, black and disabled. All these oppressions are wrong. It is often claimed by black feminists that white feminists do not hear them or include the, because as soon as they talk about being racially oppressed, along comes a white woman saying exactly what you are saying here.

Women’s houses are on fire. Always have been.

I do actually think that it’s impossible to discuss this because there’s this forced allyship and unless you pledge 1000c allegiance - through empty signalling mainly - you are a massive racist.

All normal people are horrified by what has happened and seek to understand better how black peoples lives are affected by racism every day. But I still want to be able to discuss why this crime and not the murder of mothers and babies in a maternity ward in Afghanistan or Sandy Hook or whatever other outrage you can think of has prompted global protest. Unless it’s a proxy for a protest against Trump as well which it may in part be.

Exactly men never protest at the murder of women.

Somebody upthread said something about ''people like the OP'' crawling out from .. Well, ''people like me'' have been marching and fundraising and writing to TDs for 15 years.

To label ''people like me'' a racist is thick. It's not that I don't support black lives matter, doh, it's that women's lives matter, but nobody ever fucking marches for that except women. Maybe, and even then, only if it doesn't tarnish their social media profile.

@cardibach THANK YOU!

That's how I understood it - to do the black square and then to promote those in your industries who were from the BAME community.

Who do you want support from? Many women I know can simple put abusive, misogynistic men in their place by simply standing up for themselves and standing by who they are.

Try maybe understanding more about why people are protesting and trying to be heard. As far as I'm aware throwing a pitty party for one doesn't get you anywhere, catch yourself on!

@Binterested precisely. Precisely, how excellently you have phrased it.

you cannot even wonder ''why, in the past, did you not feel any anger at what was happening in your own country to your own neighbours?'' without being labelled a racist.

Just women?

OP what about neglected and abused children?
What about the elderly left in abusive care homes?
What about endangered animals?? Or animal abuse?? Or people who shoot animals for fun??
What about poverty?? Or refugees in war torn countries??
What about climate change?? What about plastics?? What about the amazon???
Where were you protests and outrage for all of THAT?? WHAT ABOUT THEM?? WHAT HAS BEEN DONE IN THEIR NAME?

Why should women get protests in their name and not all of these other causes?? Where is your support for others??

The above is of course a ridiculous response, and the same thing as what you’re doing with BLM.

I agree and i think as women we give each other a hard time due to patriarchy. We are very quick to judge and compete with other women.
I had a fight with someone on fb last night as they were being awful to Meghan Markle for making that speech. I told them that they had a chip on their shoulder as a succesful black woman with a good career dared to marry and 'steal' our prince. I argued that black woman like her get torn down for thriving.

I think there is a distinct difference with the BLM protests. This was the killing of a black man by the police in plain sight. Therefore was a murder committed by representarives of government in broad daylight. This demonstrates the disregard a government has for its black citizens therfore is direct institutionalised racism.

The daily violence and subjugation of women is generally at the hands of males in a domestic setting. I'm only addressing violence against women and not institutionalised misogyny as I would view that as a seperate issue to violence. In this instance the 'enemy'if you like is more indirect, i.e. lack of funding to the justice system and women's refuges for example.

These are two very different social issues.

The BLM movement is currently seeking to address the issue that citizens shouldn't have to be afraid of being murdered by those paid to protect them because of the colour of their skin.

That's my take on this.

BLM isn’t about women, or all lives etc etc it’s about the systemic racism that black people experience throughout their lives. I don’t feel like it’s the time for whataboutery.
No/one should be ‘shaming’ you though, it’s up to you what you do and how you support the nonevent. I would live to go to the BLM rally happening in our city but I won’t because of Covid, I don’t want o be in a crowd with my kids right now. And anyone who tries to ‘shame’ me for that can do one...

Of course women's lives don't matter.

Domestic abuse where I am increased by 33% over the period of the lock down - any sign of a peep about that? Any mass gatherings to protest systematic misogyny? Nope. Of course not! It was in the news for a single 24hr cycle, then invisible again.

I didn't protest today either - I don't 'do' illegal gatherings, and it was illegal here, and I live with someone immunocompromised. I have white friends who did, and I disagree with their choice.

I did donate half my weekly paycheck in lieu of attendance to an organisation that helps incarcerated women - indigenous women are vastly over-represented in the criminal justice system here, so I felt that was a better use of my resources than making a contribution to a possible Covid resurgence.

I'm a low income earner, and the other adult in the house is on a sickness benefit, so we're not rolling in it, but that was what I did.

If donating half my income for the week to a charity helping indigenous women is racist, because I also note that sexism is endemic, just as racism is, and because I didn't turn up to a rally, so be it. I'm content with what I've done.

People are literally protesting for justice for Belly Mujinga. Please open the below link and actually read the full thing, take time to see the banners for Belly.

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/belly-mujinga-heres-what-we-know-as-cps-review-evidence-and-colleagues-speak-out_uk_5ed8bfd9c5b60050eb283e9a

This reeks of 'all lives matter'. By admitting and acknowledging that Black Lives Matter, doesn't detract from any other oppressed group. You're just acknowledging that Black people right now need the support the most. This isn't the oppression olympics. You're not betraying the feminist cause by supporting BLM. Let's not forget how much support Me Too has had.

Yes there's work still to be done for women, but right now BLM needs our support.

Movement...

As a white woman, I can see that I've had many advantages that black women have not. Conversations around race need to be had. Supporting #blacklivesmatter doesnt detract from women's issues and discrimination we face. It's not a competition.

It's as though you think there's only a finite amount of caring to go around OP. We all care about women's issues, but black lives matter deserves its own moment of focus and attention and it's finally getting it now. It doesn't mean people suddenly don't care about other things, we're just putting a spotlight on this right now, as we did for "me too".

We're all feeling guilt at our complicity in the current situation with racism, particularly those of us who considered ourselves pretty "woke". Channel that guilt to learn and grow rather than becoming defensive and lashing out with whattaboutery.

OP the current protest is BLM. It doesn’t mean that campaign for equal rights for women have gone away but taking the focus away by adding ...what about women will go down badly on SM and elsewhere.
Just as with white woman black women and men are highlighting the
systemic problems in countries around the world.

There has been a lot of protests for women’s rights the MeToo movement and before that slutwalks.

This article gives a summary of what is happening in India and other protest around the world. It is current and as with BLM dangerous for the protesters.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/indian-women-protest-new-citizenship-laws-joining-a-global-fourth-wave-feminist-movement-129602

I should add that I too made a mistake when posting for #blacktuesday and was called out. You just put your hands up and say "yup, whoops, sorry", learn from it and move on. That's how we learn.

If you want a protest for women's lives matter. Start one.
Right now the blm needs this more.

@bushhbb yes, I do get that distinction with regard to domestic violence, it's individual thugs, behind closed doors. Not thugs in uniforms on duty.

Still though, it is so genuinely upsetting and CONFUSING that the issues that have been breaking my heart for decades never prompted anybody to march.