To think women's lives don't matter...

[DragonTrainedByLucy]

Warning I am incredibly fucked off with the World right for several reasons so apologies for the rant.

I literally am getting slammed left, right and centre for not being vocal on social media about Black Lives Matter and for not attending any of the three local protests (I am shielding, but supposedly it's OK to go because social distancing measure are in place). I'm also concerned due to the high proportionality of members from the BAME community due to COVID and the fact the R number has risen close to 1.

I supported #blackouttuesday - I got it wrong, I did the black square but I also did two posts on inspirational BAME employers in the two sectors I work in (this was supposedly the wrong bit). I got abuse.

What has really hacked me off though is that some of the people who are having a go at me for the lack of support to the #BLM movement are people who have sat next to me whilst I've been on the receiving end of really severe mysoginistic abuse and really serious abuse relating to gender identity (I have a trauma diagnosis that leads to gender identity confusion). These are not one off times, it's been multiple occasions.

Generally wondering where the support has been for women for the last three years (and all women, regardless of race, but this does also impact women from BAME communities negatively).

Have I missed it? If I have can someone please point me to the circles on where I will find where/how the female support happens because I really need it right now.

Also to all the BAME community, I am sorry for the continued shit you have to go to - I have donated (through three of the various links). I hope this ends with better outcomes for you all.

Thank you for the links (and posts), am reading, am learning.

Right now the focus is on Black lives. It doesn't mean we can't also be fighting for women. But the power of a movement can be diminished be "what abouttery"

We will have our turn to fight the patriarchy. But this is not it. This is about racism. One fight at a time.

That doesn't mean we don't challenge all the every day issues every day, but when a big movement comes about the focus needs to be on that. Everybody's voice can get heard if we take turns, nobody's voice gets heard if if everybody is shouting about different things all at once.

@Pebblexox I think you're missing the point though, you can't make people care. That's the upsetting part. Nobody cared enough to march.

Once again, I am not talking about "right now", I am talking about the past - why were there no protests for Breonna Taylor for instance?

Did they cover up her murder (as it was "behind closed doors")? Is this the answer to the above question, because surely someone knew what had happened?

You can't tell the difference between GF and BT OP? Really?

BT was a monumental fuckup by the Police but she was in a room with her armed BF who shot a Police Officer in the leg which led to the Police opening fire which led to her death.

George Flloyd was unarmed, no-one with him was armed, no Police Officers were shot at or injured and in broad daylight, in public, a Police Officer slowly killed him while he begged for his life.

Had GF been in a similar situation to BT, there would not have been protests.

But why is BLM more important than Women?

OP you're a goady fucker.

Would you also turn up at a Breast Cancer charity event and shout 'but what about all the other cancers'

Did you know that there are people who are women AND black? The BLM movement includes black women and their rights. But I guess you wouldn't consider that because you're being self centred. Peak white feminism.

@3LittleMonkeyz I hope so. I hope so. So tired of waiting. I'm not engaging in any debates on facebook, jesus, wouldn't dare.

Ah so now it's not murder, it's a "monumental fuck up".

@FTmF30, doh yeh, had considered that.

such a stupid remark.

I do get what you're saying OP.

However, right now it is about BLM, and we should support that. Any progress made to challenge systemic discrimination can only be for the wider good, perhaps it will pave the way to address other injustices too.

Pleased to read your second to last post and that you are taking on board what we are saying and learning. We are all learning. Good for you for being big enough to take peoples comments on board and grow from it. This is a good attitude.

Yup... Unless you think the police officer went in there with a premeditated aim to kill a woman.

What do you think happened?

This thread is another reason why we need simple breakdown memes.
OP your house isn't on fire right now.

OP,
I agree with PPs that you need to take a break from the social media. Also that anyone who knows you as a real friend, would not abuse you in such a way. They know you support BLM and are just being vicious bullies.

Yes, women’s lives matter too. It’s just that BLM is taking the #1 position for the month due to civil unrest and protests in the US. Last month the #1 issue was Anti-Chinese racism due to Covid. Next month it will be something different that is the #1 issue.

You don’t need to keep up with the virtue signalling and self-flagellation that is SM. You can be a behind the scenes supporter. Your actual friends know you and that your actions count.

@bookworm100 I posted to learn - I didn't post to be racist or be goady. It is something that I really didn't understand.

I am grateful for the majority of the posts and definitely the links.

The BLM movement is currently seeking to address the issue that citizens shouldn't have to be afraid of being murdered by those paid to protect them because of the colour of their skin

Yes, exactly. I agree that men don't seem to protest the killing of women and that bothers me, but this is a separate issue!

the issues that have been breaking my heart for decades never prompted anybody to march

Abortion in my state was only taken off the books as a crime in the last year. I've been engaged in marches/actions for that for 30 years. I can tell you that we'd rarely get more than a few thousand people on most marches, if lucky, and 90% other women.

The most minute % of the 'social justice minded' ever did anything, like volunteer to escort women into clinics when protesters were outside.

Men in general don't support women's causes - they don't put themselves out for our rights, but they will always demand women excoriate themselves in service of their causes.

Racism is a serious, endemic issue. So is sexism. One gets global attention, one doesn't. That's just how it is. Life in a patriarchy, fun times.

Just because men of all races, genders and creeds can uphold misogyny, doesn't mean I don't support efforts to end racism. But it doesn't mean I have to close my eyes to equally egregious forms of oppression either.

Lots of white middle class women using this moment as their personal journey. Better off we just donate our cash to black causes, imo, and stop luxuriating in our lovely white guilt.

Well then that's good OP. Like I said, we're all learning and we all make mistakes. You're clearly a caring person because you are so fired up about issues. Like I said previously, I think often the defensiveness around this topic springs from a place of shame around our complicity in not having done enough. Just feel it, learn from it and grow from it rather than trying to push it down by pitting different causes against each other. There is not a finite amount of caring to go around.

@EmeraldShamrock Really, have you read my OP? Are only BAME people allowed to have their houses burning at the moment?

You have absolutely no idea what I am going through right now.

Again, BLM is a women's cause too. Half of black people are women.

Remember that lots of people commenting now won't have read the whole thread or seen your later posts acknowledging that you are learning so you don't need to fire back defensively at every new poster. If you want to go back to them just say you have realised where you might be going wrong and you're learning.

Yes, I think that's what hurts. MEN don't care about women's issue. They will never be empassioned enough to march for women's issues.

And a lot of women still need 'the nod' that the cause is a cause supported by men too before they will get on board. So women are only ever supporting themselves. Any of our causes we're only ever 50% on board.

This cause, it's 100% on board and only the very stupidest on the thread have inferred that that means I don't care about the black lives matter cause.

The different between Breonna Taylor and George Floyd is the world saw him take his last breath. We heard him telling the officer he couldn't breath, we saw that 3 other officers stood by idly and let that man die, there on the street whilst being filmed by the public.
Breonna Taylor's death was devastating, and there was an uproar about it, but it was visible. It's easy to ignore or pretend that something didn't happen when you don't see it. There was no hiding from George Floyds death. A lot of people, myself included realised just how ignorant we had been to what was happening to the black community in America. It's disgusting, and now the fight isn't just for George Taylor. It's for every single black human who lost their lives by the hands of law enforcement, when it wasn't right.

@EmeraldShamrock

Problem with that analogy is that more than one house can be on fire at once. So in this instance it's a case of prioritising the massive fire over the little fires and realising that there will be somebody somewhere who gets burned.