To think women's lives don't matter...

[DragonTrainedByLucy]

Warning I am incredibly fucked off with the World right for several reasons so apologies for the rant.

I literally am getting slammed left, right and centre for not being vocal on social media about Black Lives Matter and for not attending any of the three local protests (I am shielding, but supposedly it's OK to go because social distancing measure are in place). I'm also concerned due to the high proportionality of members from the BAME community due to COVID and the fact the R number has risen close to 1.

I supported #blackouttuesday - I got it wrong, I did the black square but I also did two posts on inspirational BAME employers in the two sectors I work in (this was supposedly the wrong bit). I got abuse.

What has really hacked me off though is that some of the people who are having a go at me for the lack of support to the #BLM movement are people who have sat next to me whilst I've been on the receiving end of really severe mysoginistic abuse and really serious abuse relating to gender identity (I have a trauma diagnosis that leads to gender identity confusion). These are not one off times, it's been multiple occasions.

Generally wondering where the support has been for women for the last three years (and all women, regardless of race, but this does also impact women from BAME communities negatively).

Have I missed it? If I have can someone please point me to the circles on where I will find where/how the female support happens because I really need it right now.

Also to all the BAME community, I am sorry for the continued shit you have to go to - I have donated (through three of the various links). I hope this ends with better outcomes for you all.

When I see men - especially but not only white men - out marching in their hundreds of thousands (in non-pandemic times) for women's human rights, then I'll believe there's global understanding that women matter

Yep.

I guess in that sense I am a massive hypocrite

Don't be silly. Going through a rape trial is a major trauma. What you did or didn't do in the time you were recovering from that trauma doesn't make you a hypocrite. It makes you a woman healing from male violence. Seriously, this is why I hate these threads. It is not healthy for you, as a woman, to excoriate yourself like this.

You noted a thing. The thing you noted has been noted by others. That doesn't make you a bad person, and nobody here has any right to ask you to account for what you did while recovering from rape.

How long, ideally, do people think women should wait before making their womanly protests about their silly little concerns?

Is next week OK?
What about the one after that?
Next year?

Should women reschedule if something more manly comes along?

@DragonTrainedByLucy you aren't a hypocrite, sorry if it sounded like I was trying to catch you out. I empathise,m and as a victim of rape I also found #metoo simultaneously heartening and incredibly triggering. And looking back I was too hard on myself for not doing everything I wish I could have done for the cause as I was so overwhelmed with the impact it had on me.

I'm really pleased youve taken on board the comments on this thread.

Just as you and I know how painful it is to be reminded of our attacks, so too must it be painful for BAME people to be constantly reminded of prejudice with everything from microaggressions in their daily life to huge news stories like this.

I think as someone else said a huge reason this specific incident galvanised such mammoth numbers of people is that it was filmed in broad daylight by members of the public.

George begged the police to stop, bystanders filming begged the police to stop and yet they continued. Without concern, care or seemingly any worry there would be consequences. They didn't care if the consequence was him dying. And they certainly didn't imagine a consequence would be them being fired, let alone charged with murder, or they would have stopped.

If it hadn't been filmed the narrative could have been twisted, but because the public shared it this time there could be no question of the narrative. Even then the officers were not immediately arrested and charged, even with the murder itself on video and viewed by millions. That is how systemic the racism is.

AgIn I'm truly sorry for what you went through and it is refreshing to see an OP taking stuff on board and being open to listening and learning

Unfortunately, in other parts of the world, the police do victimise women. You know that women who have been raped can be stoned to death for adultery? Others are shamed by their communities who blame them for the assault and they can be forced into prostitution

@janeskettle they are not silly concerns but not are those of BLM. People can't be in two places at once. We can fight all inequalities on a micro scale all of the time, but on a macro scale issues have to take precedence in the public consciousness. Otherwise it's like everybody is shouting at once and nobody gets heard.

Posted too soon, sorry. What I'm saying is that the experiences of BAME women is often far worse than what white women cope with. (I'm not minimising what white women go through, I'm a survivor of SA myself.)

But I also accept that right now we should be focusing on BLM, as that's the injustice we're faced with right now.

Nor*

It's not about women rescheduling, but it's about not trying to divert attention at a pinnacle time regarding racism either.

And as for when. The public consciousness is fickle so I could tell you that. We need our GF moment, where it becomes too clear to deny. That's what happened with the metoo movement. It will happen again.

Unfortunately, in other parts of the world, the police do victimise women. You know that women who have been raped can be stoned to death for adultery? Others are shamed by their communities who blame them for the assault and they can be forced into prostitution

I was harassed and terrorised by a downstairs neighbour in my 20s when I moved out of home into a tiny flat.I used to have to pass him on the stais and he'd wait for me. He accused me of making noise (I wasn't) and told me the police were 'very interested in me'. I was terrified. When I called the police they told me to 'wait until he sokcs you one and you have actual evidence'.

I was lucky - I was able to move away. Other women are not so lucky. They are assaulted, raped and killed by men and the state either turns a blind eye or blames them for their own demise.

This is state-sanctioned and condoned violence against women.

3LittleMonkeys

Well, let's see when women's rights take precedence in the global social justice consciousness. I'll not aim my expectations too high.
The day I see a single man, let alone thousands of men, wanting to burn down patriarchy, is the day I'll eat my hat.

@janeskettle [thank you]

@DragonTrainedByLucy no way on earth are you a hypocrite.

It is so incredibly difficult to digest the start reality that society is going to pretty much shrug over what happens to you and to thousands of other women every day.

That's the injustice we're faced with right now

We don't have periods of time where women globally are free from injustice, and we can safely take our eyes of that ball.

People are just conditioned not to SEE injustice towards women in the same ways as they see it towards men.

There is an ongoing injustice to women in terms of major increases in domestic violence incidents RIGHT NOW. It's not that we're suddenly only faced with the injustice of racism, it's that we're faced with racism AND the ongoing drone of sexism. Easy to tune that one out for a while, apparently.

@MiddleClassProblem. Nope. I haven't missed any details about the fact the Police shouldn't have been there, didn't announce themselves correctly etc.

I didn't say it was the BFs 'fault' but had he not opened fire, we likely wouldn't be having this conversation.

But we can't deny, particularly as the BF has admitted it, that he opened fire first. A Police Officer was shot and the first shot came from her BF. BF was undoubtedly scared but Police undoubtedly were too when they fired back in response, in a chaotic situation requiring decisions to be made in a split second where one of their colleagues was lying on the floor shot.

There's a massive difference between being a Police Officer executing a search warrant (they didn't know it was shit) who suddenly has someone shooting at them and you see your colleague/friend bleeding on the floor and you naturally fear for your own life...

And a Police Officer who has an unarmed person in restraint on the floor who feels under no threat whatsoever and has all the time in the world (almost 9 minutes) to decide whether or not he'll take his knee off the neck of someone saying they couldn't breathe and begging for several minutes, then stopped speaking, then stopped moving. At at least one point from pics i've seen, the Police Officer was so relaxed he had his hands in his pockets while GF was dying under his knee.

The 2 situations should not be compared.

www.cnn.com/2020/06/05/us/breonna-taylor-birthday-charges-arrests-case-trnd/index.html

@Everythingsgoingmyway again, you have not understood. I have never compared the two, just added information on BT.

I get your point OP, and I agree.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking That would be an awesome collaboration.

Ask the men you know who are out protesting against racism when the last time was they donated to a women's organisation, fundraised for for a women's shelter, started a petition to support the Women in White, raised awareness with their mates down the pub about the scourge of so-called honor murders etc

Heck, ask them if they've ever even considered setting aside a month to read women's literature.

Ask them their plans to combat domestic violence amongst their fellow men.

There's the odd chap here and there - I've known one in my life who consistently supported women's struggles across the globe.

Most are profoundly disinterested in women's causes.

There is an ongoing injustice to women in terms of major increases in domestic violence incidents RIGHT NOW. It's not that we're suddenly only faced with the injustice of racism, it's that we're faced with racism AND the ongoing drone of sexism. Easy to tune that one out for a while, apparently.

No I can't tune out, as I suffer from PTSD as a survivor of childhood SA, so I live with it on a daily basis. And I agree that very little has been said about the increase in DV during lockdown and we don't hear men campaigning on our behalf.

I think men don't want to believe how widespread violence against women is because it makes them uncomfortable (rather like white privilege in fact).

But I still feel that at the moment, we should focus our efforts in supporting BLM, as this is a great opportunity for change.

Someone asked about if I support other issues (Poverty, Amazon etc), I do - I can absolutely have conversations about those in public. I have never been on the receiving end of abuse for doing so whilst if I say anything in support of women's rights in the same crowd I get a couple of individuals who spend the next 13 (now) months throwing mysoginistic comments at me and deafening silence from everyone else.

I was at the Hyde Park protest this Wednesday among thousands of people chanting Say Her Name - Breonna Taylor, Justice For Belly Mujinga, No Justice No Peace. Unfortunately it is a fact though that only movements which concern men gain any real traction.

They will not be going away

I guarantee you most of them will not be turning out for women's rights.
Women are socialised to turn out for men in a way that men and women are not socialised to do for women.

@Ylfa Sadly I fear you're right. Getting women's voices heard is so hard.