to tell DP to get public transport and go home

[cakedup]

DP is usually great but not so much when he has had a drink.

He kept telling me to fuck off when we were in bed last night so I slept on the sofa. Then this morning he came and started on me because I was on the sofa and he said it was weird the cats were sleeping on me. He kept going on and said it's over between us but I know he doesn't mean that. He kept mimicking me and then accused me of crocodile tears. I couldn't stand it any longer so I went out for a walk, luckily he was asleep when I got back.

It's going to be unbearable today. He will carry on being a dick until he sobers up and then he will apologise profusely. I just want to be left alone today but feel I'm stuck unless he takes the tube to his house, I can't ask him to do that can I?

You have to put yourself and your ds first. You don’t deserve to be treated in this way.
Breaking up with someone is hard, But I honestly think you are exposing your ds to this abuse too. I bet he’s aware - kids are not stupid.
Be brave. Send him away today.

If you're letting him sleep it off he is going to be in a deep sleep.
Pack his shit. Leave it by the front door.

I absolutely guarantee your DS has picked up on it.

What he catches on the tube when you've broken up is not your concern.

Tell him to fuck off and then to fuck off some more. The bastard bully. Tell him to get his stuff and go. Who cares if he has to go on the tube? Let him! Please take care of yourself and don't let him back in your life once he's gone. You deserve so much more for yourself

he sounds like really bad news

Sorry but it is fucked up that you accept being treated like this under the excuse that "he's drunk" and "he'll be ashamed the next day"

I have a friend like this, her dad was a drunk and abusive to her mum, so it's her "normal", it makes me so utterly sad for her (and you)

It would be wonderful to see her, or you, kick out these nasty abusive arseholes, but I guess you won't

Look everyone telling her to wake him up now ,just stop and think
He could kick of and turn violent ,she needs to get support in place ,a friend or relative,he’s an abuser ,he’s going to be difficult ,possibly Violent ,let her get some support first

Oh my goodness. Of course it's not fucked up to stroke your cat too. OP this man is not good for your or your child. Make him leave. If he doesn't, call the police. That is emotional abuse. You should not have to sleep on the sofa in your own home. He sounds likes he needs professional help to work through his own issues before he can be in a relationship.

Trust me, my dad is one of these men who is ever so sweet until they’ve had a drink and then turns into the devil. It will not stop.
I’ve watched him ruin countless relationships because he cannot stop drinking and gets aggressive when he does. He’s now a very sad lonely old man with nothing to look forward to in life and I don’t feel sorry for him one bit

For goodness sake. Stop defending this idiot. You deserve better and he deserves to be told to fuck off.

I bet he kicks the cat when you’re out there room.

He’s showing you exactly who he is so stop excusing this pathetic man. We are all advising you to kick him out as soon as he wakes but you are making excuses for him. Just take the advice and move on with your life. He’s bad news and your poor DS will be impacted. This isn’t just about you, you also have a child.

Value yourself.

Remember drink reduces inhibitions, your dh is saying what he really thinks of you when he's drunk, the acting is when he's sober.

Use the time he's asleep to pack his bags. Stop defending him and realise he's abusing you in your own home. If he's conscious enough to stop his actions when your DS walks in the room then he knows exactly what he's doing.

You will be so much better off without him. And I can guarantee your 15 year old knows more than you think

I will tell him to leave today. I can't keep doing this.

Only yesterday we kept telling each other how much we are in love. We are like soppy teens most of the time. He wants to get married.

Get rid - he sounds horrible. If DS is 15 he will definitely be aware of something going on. It's not fair to have him in the house all through lockdown.
He will be fine on the tube - it's not your problem how he gets home really??

I would watch this man around my cats, if I were you, OP. Your posts have sent a chill down my spine.

@Coffeecak3

Value yourself.

Remember drink reduces inhibitions, your dh is saying what he really thinks of you when he's drunk, the acting is when he's sober.

Well that's really sad if true. Because he acts like he hates me when he is drunk.

You cannot speak to him when pissed because he is abusive, can’t speak to him when sober because he cannot remember and apologetic, he can control his abuse in-front of your DS. He is manipulative and unfortunately knows exactly how to play you. It’s upto you if you want to continue playing his game in plain sight of your son as your son is aware of this.

Do not get married to him. Kick him out.

Do. Not. Marry. This. Abuser.

He wants to get married

Holy shit. He thinks he has a ready made victim, right there.

You.

I'm just trying to decide whether to wake him or not. He'll be more reasonable the more sober he is but may be better to do it while DS is asleep

Soopy teens, great.
But you know what he is really like. ANd you can’t un see and un hear all he hasn’t done to you when drunk.
You need to be prepared for him telling you he will change, he won’t drink again, he loves you so much, blah blah blah....can you hold your nerve?
You really do not need to live like this. I would definitely be happier alone.

He's just training you up to be used to his abuse. Being all nice one moment and abusive the next. Pushing it further and further every time....but he loves you so much!

So in love my arse.

I bet you he will want you go get rid of your cats because they 'make him uncomfortable'. Then when your lad is sixteen perhaps he will make your beloved uncomfortable too.

There are men out there who aren't awful. It's not this twat or nobody. And you don't deserve to be treated like this!

He sounds like a first class wankstain, sorry.

Your cats, your house, your choice.
Cats sleeping with you on your sofa is not weird, that’s what most cats like to do. If you like it, then so be it!

If he cannot tolerate your shitty choice of music, - simply tell him that he can return to his house, where he can play his own choice of music.

Tell him that it’s completely undesirable and unacceptable to have a drunken oaf abusing you in your own household.

You have a right to your own privacy in your own home.

Tell him to leave and preferably never come back.
You deserve better than this controlling pissed-up toe-rag.

Sorry if you think I have been a little harsh, but knowing women are tolerating this shit on a daily basis makes my piss boil!

I bet when he wakes up he’ll make you feel bad by getting so upset and regretful and showering you with love. Beware, this is common with abusers.

You have valid reasons to be angry and to want him out. Please remember that when he’s pleading forgiveness. Think of your son. You are the victim here, not your partner.