to tell DP to get public transport and go home

[cakedup]

DP is usually great but not so much when he has had a drink.

He kept telling me to fuck off when we were in bed last night so I slept on the sofa. Then this morning he came and started on me because I was on the sofa and he said it was weird the cats were sleeping on me. He kept going on and said it's over between us but I know he doesn't mean that. He kept mimicking me and then accused me of crocodile tears. I couldn't stand it any longer so I went out for a walk, luckily he was asleep when I got back.

It's going to be unbearable today. He will carry on being a dick until he sobers up and then he will apologise profusely. I just want to be left alone today but feel I'm stuck unless he takes the tube to his house, I can't ask him to do that can I?

Protect your DS as he will know what’s going on. Your dh doesn’t give a shit about you so tell him to get out and close the door to him for good. He’s nasty, vile and Andy I’ve. He is not caring lovely and considerate. Wake up and see the reality of your life. But protect your kid.

Oh my god
Why are u putting up with this
Dump him

Ok, cross posted. No break of lockdown but my assessment still stands. Send him on his way and tell him to stay gone.

• abusive, not Andy’ve!

Seriously, why ask for advice if you reject it. Dump him. He doesn't belong in your house, he's an abusive twat. Kick him out. Get him out of your life. Can we be any more clear?

So many women accept less than they deserve. LTB OP. Get rid. He is abusive and it will get worse.

OP, I am even more concerned to learn there is a 15 year old in the middle of this mess too. I know its hard, I really do. But you deserve better, as does your son. He really does have to go. I get the impression that he has managed to alter your perception of what is normal and acceptable within a relationship. Hopefully some time away from him will let you gain some confidence to try and stop you repeating this with another man.

Get rid and tell everyone why! "Disinfect with sunlight" is a great phrase I heard on mn. If he doesn't want people knowing he's horrible to you then he shouldn't be horrible. Simple.

@Branleuse

Op I think this will get worse. He sounds quite mad. Id be worried about the safety of your cats quite honestly as well as you.

Appreciate your responses everyone, I'm taking them all on board

Think I'll let him sleep it off (more chance of sobering up) rather than wake him now though

You have a son ...and your letting this twat behave like this in your child’s home ,dear god ....you need to protect your son ,before he does the same to him

Your son is 15? He knows.

He is not normally like this

Oh but he is love.

Get him gone. You and your dc and mogs deserve better. x

Your also showing your son how to treat a woman ,by allowing that man to abuse you .he will copy the same in his relationships,

The excuses you make for him actually make it sound worse, not better

He switches the abuse on and off if someone walks into the room ? So he chooses to do it and he knows it is not acceptable. That is fucking sinister.

Also, do you want your son thinking this is how a relationship works? You cannot teach him that this is acceptable!

As an PP said, he can control himself - drunk or sober - when your son comes in the room.

HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING AND HE KNOWS IT’S WRONG.

He will not change. The mask has slipped.

Leave him - you deserve so much better.

What impression of relationships do you think you are showing your son right now?

Have you any family you could get over while you tell him to take his stuff and go for good ..he’s probably not going to take it well ,you may need some support

I'm sure DS has no idea, usually DP and I are happy together, having fun etc. But you are all right....I cannot risk DS being privy to any of this.

I don't know if this makes sense, but what hurts me most is when DP treats me badly, I think he is treating DS' mum badly and that hurts even more than if I just think he is treating me badly. iyswim

I would certainly tell anyone who asked that you’ve ended your relationship because he’s abusive when drunk. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Wake him up now and send him home in a taxi. Stop making excuses OP!

The tube will be quieter than normal.
send him home.

The minute he starts to kick of you call the Police ,they will remove him for you ,tell them you are being abused in your home and he won’t leave ,they will help you

OP that just shows that you have a really hard time valuing yourself.

It’s very very clear this man needs to go, that he’s abusive, that you’ve worked hard to gaslight yourself about what it’s like being with him.

It’s not ok and it can’t go on.

Will you stop pandering to him and defending him. He's a prick. Everyone is telling you to get rid. Wake him now and tell him to get out. He had no problem waking you at 6am for nothing.