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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
Settingup · 05/06/2020 21:31

Congratulations. I’ve had a miserable day and your story has made me smile.

AliasGrape · 05/06/2020 21:33

That’s lovely, so pleased for them and you.

Timetospare · 05/06/2020 21:34

What a wonderful thing to share, thank you, and warmest wishes to you all, Flowers
You deserve to feel proud of all you have accomplished making your family.

Greeneyedminx · 05/06/2020 21:35

Fantastic news, well done to you all. Xx

Natalie654321 · 05/06/2020 21:35

Aww such a lovely story. You have done an amazing job bringing them up with aspirations and giving them love!!

JimandWilson · 05/06/2020 21:36

Wonderful. Really wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

TooStressyTooMessy · 05/06/2020 21:36

Love this Smile. Congratulations.

PrimalLass · 05/06/2020 21:37

That's wonderful. ❤️

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:37

@Settingup husband and I are slightly drunk and your message brought a tear to both our eyes.

The git teenagers are watching a film and looking horrified at the old parents being emotional.

OP posts:
TitianaTitsling · 05/06/2020 21:37

Oh @SecretSpAD that's wonderful! Also had a rubbish day so your beautiful story has cheered me up!

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:37

And thank you all for your kindness. Xx

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/06/2020 21:38

Winecongratulations!!!

Choice4567 · 05/06/2020 21:38

Wow that’s a fantastic story. Great news OP

ShakespearesSisters · 05/06/2020 21:39

Made me cry. Lovely end to the story. Hope you enjoyed the pizza x

ILiveInSalemsLot · 05/06/2020 21:39

Lovely story Smile well done to you and your dh.

Rshard · 05/06/2020 21:39

A wonderful story about a wonderful family

lazylinguist · 05/06/2020 21:40

Oh that's so lovely! Congratulations!

Weekends · 05/06/2020 21:40

Congratulations to you all!

I'm so glad I ventured out of the adoption board for once and saw this.

Happy AO day!

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 05/06/2020 21:41

Ah, that's so heartwarming to hear. Well done to you and your DH, that was quite something to take on. Fantastic.

2littleguineas · 05/06/2020 21:41

That's fabulous, it's lovely to hear such a happy ending.

bibbityboo2 · 05/06/2020 21:41

So lovely. Congratulations. Enjoy the celebrations with your wonderful family. You sound like fantastic parents xx

MrsHandles · 05/06/2020 21:41

This is the best thing I’ve read today. Congratulations, enjoy your wonderful, official family ♥️

Ilovellamasandpenguins · 05/06/2020 21:41

Congratulations 🌻

seriousandloyal · 05/06/2020 21:42

Such a lovely post, congratulations OP and family, wishing you many more happy years together.

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:42

We never planned this for our lives, we never wanted children of our own....but, fuck. At the age of nearly and just over 50 we are officially parents to teenagers and we couldn't be more happy.
Pizza was good...wine even better 😂

There's a part of me that's terrified as my mother was hardly a role model, but luckily I've got my husband and the kids to show me how to be their mum.

OP posts:
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