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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
Dairymilkmuncher · 06/06/2020 13:18

Thank you so much for sharing your lovely news Smile

Congratulations Thanks

Nevergoingbackthere · 06/06/2020 13:52
Spidey66 · 06/06/2020 14:13

Well done, your family sound wonderful. Some good has come out of the difficult times.

Makinglemonadefromlemons · 06/06/2020 14:18

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story!
It sounds like you are amazing parents!

Lolimax · 06/06/2020 14:22

What a lovely story to read. Good luck to your very special family.

indecisivewoman81 · 06/06/2020 14:23

What a lovely post and how lucky both children are to have had you both in their life supporting and loving them.

Xx

maybelou · 06/06/2020 14:32

Oh God, I'm lying in bed with horrendous cramps trying to distract myself and this honestly just made me cry a few happy tears!! I'm so happy for your family OP, thanks so much for sharing this!

Makes me wish more than ever that I could see my nieces and nephews right now and give them all a big hug.

Unsureursula · 06/06/2020 14:35

What a lovely story! Congratulations...you’ve obviously been fantastically kind to them!

atotalshambles · 06/06/2020 14:36

That is such a lovely story . Good luck in Cornwall. It is so great to hear good news amid the sadness at the moment.

runningon · 06/06/2020 14:56

Wonderful story and congratulations!

pinksmile · 06/06/2020 15:01

Reading your update where they said

"Night mum, night dad"

Well they tipped me over the edge! 😭

Congratulations on your beautiful family.

Clevererthanyou · 06/06/2020 15:03

I’m so pleased for you and your lovely family op 💓

LoisEinhorn · 06/06/2020 15:40

Omg what a wonderful outcome. Congrats to you all xxx

CheeryCherry · 06/06/2020 15:53

Such a lovely post - well done for being such good people OP Flowers

Happynow001 · 06/06/2020 15:55

Oh CONGRATULATIONS!! @SecretSpAD and Mr SecretSpAD!! SUCH a very lovely thing to read amongst all the doom, gloom and sometimes fear swirling around. Hope your lives are full of happiness, pizza, 🎂 and red 🍷 🍷👏🏻👏🏻

natwebb79 · 06/06/2020 16:01

Thank you for this beautiful boy of 'happy' among the gloom! So many congrats! Flowers Wine

namesnames · 06/06/2020 16:08

Lovely to read this x

DariaMorgendorffer · 06/06/2020 16:09

Love this ❤️ so much!

Trying2310 · 06/06/2020 16:13

Amazing heart warming story. Congratulations. You did a beautiful selfless thing that your children will be forever grateful for.

Euclid · 06/06/2020 16:13

That is a wonderful story, apart from your sister in law dying. Well done to you and your husband. It is lovely that the children are in a happy home with a fulfilling future ahead of them.

acocadochocolate · 06/06/2020 16:15

Aww, what a wonderful story! Well done OP! It must have been very daunting.

Theforest · 06/06/2020 16:19

Thats wonderful. Brought a few tears to my eyes!!

ThanosSavedMe · 06/06/2020 16:27

Thank you for sharing your story. Am having a tough day today and this had made me smile and cry happy tears. I know I don’t know any of you but I’m so happy for all of you.

Banana0pancakes · 06/06/2020 16:29

That's an amazing thing to do for them. They're lucky to have you

MrsWooster · 06/06/2020 16:45

Congratulations. It sounds like you are all lucky to have each other!

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