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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
maleficent53 · 05/06/2020 21:52

Fantastic news congratulations and enjoy your pizza xx

madmumofteens · 05/06/2020 21:52

Aww such a lovely happy story OP I am feeling sorry as was supposed to be going on holiday to Greece today makes me realise how lucky I am! Good luck and enjoy xx

startingtoday · 05/06/2020 21:53

What a fantastic end to my day! Congratulations to you all !

Little11 · 05/06/2020 21:53

I love this, so so lovely!

Greyblueeyes · 05/06/2020 21:54

Wow, OP. Congratulations!

And now I'm crying at work!

ChangeThePassword · 05/06/2020 21:55

I could not love this post more. I'm so glad that you were there for them when they needed you, and that it had ended this way is a testament to the great job you've done, despite all the hard times.

Rhubardandcustard · 05/06/2020 21:55

Just lovely. Congratulations to all - what a lovely family.

britespark1 · 05/06/2020 21:55

This is so wonderful and heartwarming to read. Congratulations to you and your fabulous family.

WoahBodyforrrm · 05/06/2020 21:56

This has just choked me!

Massive, enormous, humungous congratulations to you all.

They sounds like bloody brilliant kids.

Enjoy your happily ever after (and your pizza) Thanks

Silenceisnotgolden · 05/06/2020 21:56

My bottom lip won’t stop wobbling and my eyes are leaking.

Congratulations on the adoption of your very own pair of little gits. May the stress, anxiety, financial burden and mood swings bring you as much joy and happiness as my little gits have brought me.

Such a gorgeous story in a sea of hatred, pain and uncertainty. Thanks for sharing with us, OP Flowers

Angrymouse · 05/06/2020 21:56

Many happy years of togetherness to the four of you OP!
I am glad I stumbled across your post today.

FawnDrench · 05/06/2020 21:56

What a heartwarming and very lovely post - I am smiling like a Cheshire cat - just a fabulous story - many congratulations to you all.

glitterbiscuits · 05/06/2020 21:57

I love this!

This is my best thing of the whole week.

From one mum of teenagers to another- I salute you!

Groovee · 05/06/2020 21:57

Aww wonderful news x

poppym12 · 05/06/2020 21:58

Wonderful news ❤️

SpongebobNoPants · 05/06/2020 21:58

How lovely ❤️
You sound like a great family and I hope it continues for you all Smile

PenguinIce · 05/06/2020 22:00

I am so happy for you and your family, enjoy your happy ending 💐

ilovecardigans · 05/06/2020 22:00

@SecretSpAD - you and your husband are truly splendid human beings. Thank you for sharing your happiness. Wishing you and your family an abundance of joy. 😘

rawlikesushi · 05/06/2020 22:01

I cried reading this. Good luck to all of you, op, it sounds like you deserve it x

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 05/06/2020 22:01

What a wonderful and brilliant story to read OP- I'm so happy for you and the children. So lovely to hear some positive news at the moment- I wish you all the very best for the future and that you have many lovely experiences and times together as a family Flowers

catmg · 05/06/2020 22:01

This is the best MN post I've ever read.

Congratulations Secretspad to you and your family of four.

I wish you all every happiness.

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:01

Have just told the husband that we've made MN cry Grin.

My niece isn't the most demonstrative child, but tonight she came and sat next to me and put her head on my shoulder. Didn't say anything, but just stayed like that for a while - until the pizza arrived of course!

Their mother tried her best. She was a good mum and tried to stay off the drugs, but she had a complicated life and although outwardly it looked like she and her brother (my DH) had everything - wealthy family, private education, all the hobbies and chances in life that parents want so much for their children - their parents were cold and uninterested. It was ok for DH because he is slightly on the spectrum and never looked for acceptance or even love. But his sister was different and so was badly let down time and time again by her parents. She dealt with it in a stereotypical way by choosing the bad boy, becoming pregnant and turning to drugs. DH helped her, but ultimately she was let down one last time.

My DH's parents are not coming near these children.

OP posts:
onceuponatimer · 05/06/2020 22:01

What a wonderful journey you have had. You should all be incredibly proud.

2beautifulbabs · 05/06/2020 22:01

Wonderful News you and your DH sound amazing and great parents SmileThanks

PerkingFaintly · 05/06/2020 22:02

Oh congratulations! All very best to all of you.Flowers

Now excuse me, I'm off to find a hanky...

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