Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
EthelMerman · 05/06/2020 22:03

Lovely to read. You’re all brilliant for taking each other on. Happy families ❣️

ChocAuVin · 05/06/2020 22:04

What an awesome post to read 💙

Chimpd0g · 05/06/2020 22:04

That made me cry OP, so lovely

spongedog · 05/06/2020 22:04

So many congratulations Flowers. Your children are lucky to have you both as strong adults in their lives.

My git teenager - just back from their dads so always a bit off those first few hours - is upstairs in bed quietly doing lego under the bedcovers hoping I wont know! I'll leave them be tonight - your post made me really remember how grateful I am to be a parent of a teenager. Much better in all seriousness than a toddler.

RunSoICanEatCheese · 05/06/2020 22:05

Gorgeous. Wishing you all the best!

Oldbutstillgotit · 05/06/2020 22:05

What a wonderful story . I have just topped up my wine to toast you all x

Thisseatisnotavailable · 05/06/2020 22:05

That just made me cry a little. Congratulations Flowers

Puds11 · 05/06/2020 22:06

This is definitely my favourite MN story! Thank you for lifting my spirits and I wish you and your family all the best life has to offer.

Cyberattack · 05/06/2020 22:06

This is the best thing I've ever read on Mumsnet. A lovely, lovely story. Wishing you all a very happy future.

purpleboy · 05/06/2020 22:07

What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing and good luck for the future GinCakeThanks

malificent7 · 05/06/2020 22:07

Great story...how wonderful!

Ellmau · 05/06/2020 22:07

Congratulations!

clpsmum · 05/06/2020 22:07

I love this. You've made my day. Huuuuuge congratulations and love to you all SmileSmile

icelollycraving · 05/06/2020 22:08

How utterly wonderful ❤️

feebeecat · 05/06/2020 22:08

Aww that’s brilliant - what a happy ending, that is really another beginning. So nice to have good news. Congratulations to you and your family ❤️❤️

wishing3 · 05/06/2020 22:08

Made me well up too! Congratulations to you and your family.

PicklePig31 · 05/06/2020 22:08

Gosh I’m bloody crying...

OP, you and your husband are exceptional people. How lucky those children are to have you.

Many congratulations and best wishes for the road ahead xxxx

SandysMam · 05/06/2020 22:08

What a wonderful story OP, and what a comfort it must have been to your sister in law in her final days, that she knew you would be there for her children. I hope she is at peace now.
Your little gits sound lovely, and each of you are so lucky to have each other. Enjoy your family...mama!!xx

ChaoticGouda · 05/06/2020 22:09

You gave those kids a family. You gave them love. You gave them laughter. You gave them hope. You gave them a future.

Bless you and your husband, OP. I wish all the happiness, fun, and frustration that teenagers can give you! Cheers! Wine

Bluetrews25 · 05/06/2020 22:09

That has to be the highest compliment a child can pay to an adult - will you be my parent?
Congratulations. Very wet eyes here, too.
Just remember, if they become uber-gits, that they will be leaving home in a couple of years, most likely. Wink

EspressoPatronum · 05/06/2020 22:09

I needed to read that today ❤️❤️❤️

matchboxtwentyunwell · 05/06/2020 22:10

That made me cry.

Congratulations on making it official. You and your DH are wonderful people, OP.

ListenToIronMaidenBaby · 05/06/2020 22:10

I've had a few drinks now but that made me tear up, lovely outcome

ShellsandSand · 05/06/2020 22:10

The best post I've seen on Mumsnet. Truly heartwarming.

Hepzibar · 05/06/2020 22:10

@SecretSpAD thank you for posting. I work in Education Safeguarding with teenagers, and me and my team pray for relatives like you.

Had too many glasses of wine to be articulate but just wanted to say you and your DH have made my day.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread