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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
ludothedog · 05/06/2020 22:11

Congratulations to you all WineBrewCakeFlowers

Fairybatman · 05/06/2020 22:11

From one adoptive Mum to another Flowers

wewillmeetagain · 05/06/2020 22:12

What a lovely story, it's so nice to read something positive on here instead of the usual arguing and whinging. Congratulations and I wish all of you a fantastic future x

ButterflyBitch · 05/06/2020 22:12

I may be a tad emotional today due to a Mix of pmt, lockdown and just shitty few months but that made me well up.
Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations Flowers

weegiemum · 05/06/2020 22:12

Huge. Congratulations! You all sound amazing (am currently mum of 2 teens so doubly impressed!).

Worstyear2020 · 05/06/2020 22:12

Thank you, just what I needed to read. Happy for you and your children.

pinkprosseco · 05/06/2020 22:12

You're amazing and your news is just lovely to hear especially at the moment with so many awful things happening. Well done on being fantastic parents and not giving up ThanksWine

Iloveacurry · 05/06/2020 22:12

This is lovely 😊

snowybean · 05/06/2020 22:12

Yay! I'm glad I clicked on this happy thread 😄

DoubleFunMum · 05/06/2020 22:13

Aaaaaagh! And that is the stuff we all live for. The moments we live for having, and reading about. What makes mankind great. Wishing you and your lovely family all the best OP.

WhoAmIGoingToBeToday · 05/06/2020 22:13

What brilliant news OP, congratulations. They sound like great children, it's lovely that you all have each other.

Susanna85 · 05/06/2020 22:13

Wonderful. Happy ending but many more adventures ahead with the teens. Lots of brilliant memories yet to be made

Parkandride · 05/06/2020 22:14

This is wonderful, I'm so pleased for you

gabsdot45 · 05/06/2020 22:14

Congratulations on your adoption day.
Lovely story.
Good luck to you all.

parttimecarriemathison · 05/06/2020 22:14

Lovely. Congratulations.

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:15

OP, you and your husband are exceptional people. How lucky those children are to have you

We're lucky to have them. They are bloody awesome human beings and have brought so much to our lives. Despite the moods. Oh god the moods.

OP posts:
dancemom · 05/06/2020 22:15

This is the loveliest thing I have heard for months! The positive impact you have had on these children will change the world 🌍

Well done OP & Mr OP, what a wonderful thing you have done!

Troels · 05/06/2020 22:16

Congratulations. Grin

Somerandomshittyname · 05/06/2020 22:16

Congratulations OP 💐 wishing you and your family all the best for the future.

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:16

Had too many glasses of wine to be articulate

You and me both Grin

OP posts:
pumpkinbump · 05/06/2020 22:17

This was lovely to read. Sounds like you have been wonderful parents to them x

IdblowJonSnow · 05/06/2020 22:17

Fantastic news OP.
Congratulations! Smile

RiftGibbon · 05/06/2020 22:17

What a beautiful post, OP. ❤️

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:18

More WineWineWineWine I think Grin

OP posts:
Distiller91 · 05/06/2020 22:18

Oh thank you for sharing this. I haven't seen anything positive/happy for a while on the Internet and this is just wonderful. Wishing your little family so much happiness x

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