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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 05/06/2020 22:18

Really lovely story.👏👏

hotstepper4 · 05/06/2020 22:18

Love this. Those lucky kids to have you.

Babyroobs · 05/06/2020 22:18

This is so lovely, they are lucky kids to have you taking care of them.

Coffeecak3 · 05/06/2020 22:18

Humanity at its finest and the true meaning of family. Congratulations.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 05/06/2020 22:18

That's absolutely lovely. Many congratulations to all of you. Wine

Heartlake · 05/06/2020 22:19

Oh I think I'll remember this post for a long time! Most people are great but you really are exceptional... Loving, realistic and clearly bloody amazing. Wishing you luck and lots and lots more love x

littlemeitslyn · 05/06/2020 22:19

You made a grumpy old woman 😁

EustaciaPieface · 05/06/2020 22:20

How wonderful!

Lavenderpurple · 05/06/2020 22:20

What a wonderful story.
They sound like they are thriving being with you and your dh.

Tempnamelady · 05/06/2020 22:20

Who could not love this post ♥️ I wish you all the love and luck in the world and a very happy family life for the future x

KeepWashingThoseHands · 05/06/2020 22:20

Lovely Thanks

What struck me about your post is not just what you've done for the children but the non-judgemental way you talk of their mother. I imagine that means a lot to them and says much about your personality. Lots of people are a few 'bad luck' events away from a very different life and it's easy to vilify people for the choices they've made or situations they find themselves in.

Very best to your family X

1frenchfoodie · 05/06/2020 22:21

You have brought happy tears to my eyes, you sound lovely and that the kids (your kids!) felt moved to ask you to adopt them after only a year speaks volumes. May you all have very many happy years ahead, teenage stops aside!

SallyWD · 05/06/2020 22:21

Thank you for sharing. That's really uplifting.

Lynda07 · 05/06/2020 22:22

That is such a lovely story, I'm so happy for you all.

Nanny0gg · 05/06/2020 22:22
Flowers
MamaGee09 · 05/06/2020 22:23

I love a happy ending, I’ve had a pretty shitty day and this has put a smile on my face! X

PancakesAndSyrup · 05/06/2020 22:23

Congratulations 🎊 your story is such a lovely one. I wish you all so much happiness Flowers

mcmooberry · 05/06/2020 22:23

Aw lovely story thank you for sharing it!!

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:23

I'm really overwhelmed and so I'd DH. Our nephew keeps asking if he had hay fever as he's sat sniffling away...and has just rushed to the loo. No, I told him. He's just slightly pissed and overemotional because he's now officially your dad.

Oh, says teenage nephew. I don't remember what it's like having a dad.
But uncle SpAd will be a better one than mine.

Fuck. We're all crying now. Had to give nephew (son?) a shandy to cheer him up and niece (daughter?) a lemonade with a little bit of beer.

How to get parenting wrong so soon!

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 05/06/2020 22:24

Congratulations!

OhioOhioOhio · 05/06/2020 22:24

That is the most beautiful story. Congratulations to you all. I hope that the pizza was delicious.

SquigglePigs · 05/06/2020 22:24

That is a lovely happy ending. And also happy beginning to the next phase in your and their lives. Congratulations!

Clotho55 · 05/06/2020 22:25

What a fantastic story OP - I'm so pleased for all of you! Adoption is a great way of providing a fulfilling life for children and parents alike

monkeyonthetable · 05/06/2020 22:27

What a lovely, happy ending to some hellish times. I hope the good times carry on for all of you.

sqirrelfriends · 05/06/2020 22:28

This is so lovely, thank you for sharing.

In other news, I've got a little something in my eye, hay fever must be playing up again.

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