Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
HouseOfEdwards · 05/06/2020 21:42

I was crying by Cornwall.

formerbabe · 05/06/2020 21:43

How lovely..wish you all much happiness together.

NerosFiddle · 05/06/2020 21:43

That's lovely news and congratulations!

Windyatthebeach · 05/06/2020 21:43

I think I have something in my eye op.
Flowers

I love teens!!
What an amazing family you sound!
Congratulations!
Wine

Cannotcope4223 · 05/06/2020 21:44

You are true parents with the git teenagers comment 😂 what a wonderful, selfless, amazing thing to do. You’ve missed out on a lot of the lovely cuddly bits but you’ve given 2 children the gift of a wonderful, trauma free future. Thank you for sharing that with us tonight xx

Randomness12 · 05/06/2020 21:44

This is just lovely, huge congratulations to you all. What a fantastic achievement Flowers

passthemustard · 05/06/2020 21:44

Beautiful story. Congratulations 😁

SausageCrush · 05/06/2020 21:44

What an inspiring read! Well done Op.
It's such a refreshing change from the usual doom and gloom on MN.
I wish you all the best Thanks

PeppasMuddyPuddles · 05/06/2020 21:44

Congratulations, I must admit i was a bit teary reading that too. Lovely Flowers

susandelgado · 05/06/2020 21:44

Thank you for sharing 😊
You must be so proud!

TankGirl97 · 05/06/2020 21:44

Wow, congratulations to all four of you! What a lovely story.
And thank you for posting it, some positivity is wonderful to hear after so much bad news this week.

NC4Now · 05/06/2020 21:45

This is just lovely to read. Well done to all of you. Raising teens is hard enough, but in your circumstances, well, you must all be pretty incredible. Congratulations!

Ravenclawgirl · 05/06/2020 21:45

So thrilled for you. congratulations .

Cherrysherbet · 05/06/2020 21:46

Oh op, I’m in floods here! You are both bloody amazing people.

I wish your lovely family all the love and luck in the world.

There should be more people like you around.

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:47

WineGinCakeThanks to everyone here. Happy and terrified in equal parts

OP posts:
bumblebeefairy · 05/06/2020 21:48

What an amazing story. Congratulations to you all.

TacosTuesday · 05/06/2020 21:48

Bloody love this. Thanks for posting and congratulations on your adoption, just lovely to read!

whereiscaroline · 05/06/2020 21:48

This has made me cry. Thank you for sharing the story of your lovely family with us. Thanks

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 05/06/2020 21:48

Out of something so tragic comes something so wonderful hope you all enjoyed your pizza Smile

Wish you all the best Flowers

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 05/06/2020 21:48

Ah that's lovely OP. Congratulations to you all!

dicksplash · 05/06/2020 21:49

Wonderful news, you are all lucky to have each other.

mineofuselessinformation · 05/06/2020 21:50

That's a very lovely thing to hear, especially in these troubled times.
Wishing you lots of love and happiness with them, OP.

Mumdiva99 · 05/06/2020 21:50

Thank you so much for sharing. Congratulations to the whole family. Sorry for the loss if your SIL.
WineFlowersGrin
(Got to find a tissue for the stuff in my eyes...)

Moominmammaatsea · 05/06/2020 21:51

@SecretSpAD, Wow, many, many congratulations! Fellow adoptive parent here, although from the more traditional aspect of ‘stranger’ adoption. It’s lovely for your teens that you have been able to provide them with continuity and stability and keep alive that all-important link to their origins.

Anyway, you are a spring chicken; try being 50 and parenting a four-year-old (another very long story)!

I would definitely recommend the AdoptionUK website/forums as essential reading (and handholding if ever things get a bit hairy).

Gindrinker43 · 05/06/2020 21:52

My God, that made the Onion Fairy vist our house, you are amazing, congratulations.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.