Relationship advice needed - AIBU

[Unreasonable2]

Hi all.
I'm a 30 year old women and I am in a relationship with a 30 year old man. We have been in a relationship for 11 months.
He has said he wants to take it slow (which I respect) so hasnt met my DD or any of my family, and I havent met his parents who he lives with.
During lockdown we havent seen each other obviously.
My issue is he is always too busy, too busy for a phone call, too busy to text during the day, his weekends are too busy.. I get around 20 minutes to text him from when he gets in bed till he goes to sleep and he wont reply any other time of the day.

Usually he lives a busy life anyway with work but I usually get to see him 2 evenings a week.

We spoke the other night and he informed me that after this is over, for the foreseeable, we wont be able to spend any weekends together as he has to do some diy for his parents.

Am I being unreasonable wanting more? It's been nearly a year of this and the last few months of lockdown has shown me I cant be as much of a priority to him as he is to me as if I was, surely he would make time to text back/call back etc.

AIBU just expecting a bit more commitment? A bit more of his time/attention because I honestly dont know. Before this I have only been in one other relationship. DD's father which lasted 15 years.

You managed to convince him to FaceTime you?
Have some self respect! Stop contacting this loser.

Bloody hell Op! Block him! Can't believe you haven't already. He is not interested in having a relationship with you. You are just an ego boost to him. Please, for your own sanity, just bloody block him.

@Unreasonable2

He just messaged again.

"Just because I'm not in constant communication with you doesnt mean I love you less or care less. It's just the way I am, you have to understand that - anyway, tea time - steak and potatoes, delicious - speak tomorrow baby, love you xxxxxxx

I ignored the last one.

OMG. There's only one reply to that, and the second word is 'Off'.

I hope for this man's sake he is married, because the alternative is that he's off his bloody head.

Did his mother thank you personally (ie on the phone) for the flowers? I'm not that convinced she even exists.

Your last relationship is very, very concerning. The difference between a 14 year old girl and a 23 year old man is immense. He would've been 25 when you were taking your GCSEs. What on earth did your parents and friends say and do about that? Did you feel you had to marry him to prove a point?

I would block the life out of the boyfriend and wouldn't date anyone until I'd had counselling. The fact you were putting up with such a lot of shit from this guy after having a very unhealthy marriage is really worrying. You need to work through this with someone before you start to date again.

He is married

If you like someone you gladly put down the tools for time with them, unless he is running the nhs. Single handled He has time to text or chat during the day ffs! Have more self respect

Send more exploding cards large orchids etc

Or any more BIG things that can't be hidden when delivered

Just an update..
I'm still waiting for the above call...

Switch your phone off, go out, do something else. What are you waiting for? I would text saying it's over, block the number and move on.

What are you expecting from this call?
You've decided to split. Just move on now.

What are you expecting from this call?
You've decided to split. Just move on now.

Ups sorry my comment wouldn't load.

I would block the life out of the boyfriend and wouldn't date anyone until I'd had counselling. The fact you were putting up with such a lot of shit from this guy after having a very unhealthy marriage is really worrying. You need to work through this with someone before you start to date again.

This.

And hanging onto this guy, who's always shown you that he's not much into you, but wanting 'commitment' and to have him in your child's life only 11 months in; still waiting for him to call you when he's shown you over and over that he's not what you're looking for.

TwilightPeace is spot on as well. You're still in a very vulnerable spot and will attract losers and people who treat you badly.

Kick him to the curb. You deserve so much more

Do yourself a favour and block his number, you don’t need to call him.

You’ve told him you’re ending it and he hasn’t even bothered to sort this out with any urgency?? He’s still “too busy”. Honestly you need to grow some self esteem, he knows you will always be available for him doesn’t he?

Just an update..
I'm still waiting for the above call...

I think this speaks volumes. You e finished it, and he's not even bothered to speak to you. Only a few texts.

I'm still waiting for the above call...

Don't even give him the option. Block him everywhere. Chances are that he won't call anyway.

Please don’t waste your Friday evening staring at your phone waiting for it to ring. Switch it off if you don’t want to block him just yet. I’ll bet when you switch it back on tomorrow morning there will be no missed calls or messages.

Don't even give him the option. Block him everywhere. Chances are that he won't call anyway.

Good advice. You need to be in charge of your own destiny OP. Instead of waiting for this excuse of a man to ignore or belittle you, make the decision not to allot yourself to be treated so badly. It is way better to take control of a situation instead of being on the receiving end of mistreatment.

Just block. Don't wait for him to ring and bullshit. Seize the upper hand.

Waiting for the call?!!! That's your problem in a nutshell.

Even after breaking up you are wasting your life waiting for him to be bothered enough to call you.

And why would he want to call you? You broke up and your phone call is to be a verbal kicking, a character assassination. Bollocks to that.

Stop clinging to the dead rat.

Just to echo everybody else - don't wait for a call, block him and take some power back. If he suddenly has a personality transplant and decides he really does love you and can't live without you, he will find a way to let you know, assuming he knows where you live? I wouldn't hold my breath though.

I think you're the other woman. Do you even know his address? Are you sure you know his real name? A friend of mine was once duped like this. First she knew anything was off was 18 months into the relationship when she caught sight of his driving license.

He’s busy with his wife or girlfriend.

He’s probably registered as living with his parents so she can claim benefits.

You haven’t met his parents. He probably intercepted your gift and his mum never got it.

When a man can’t call or contact much there’s usually another woman involved.