Relationship advice needed - AIBU

[Unreasonable2]

Hi all.
I'm a 30 year old women and I am in a relationship with a 30 year old man. We have been in a relationship for 11 months.
He has said he wants to take it slow (which I respect) so hasnt met my DD or any of my family, and I havent met his parents who he lives with.
During lockdown we havent seen each other obviously.
My issue is he is always too busy, too busy for a phone call, too busy to text during the day, his weekends are too busy.. I get around 20 minutes to text him from when he gets in bed till he goes to sleep and he wont reply any other time of the day.

Usually he lives a busy life anyway with work but I usually get to see him 2 evenings a week.

We spoke the other night and he informed me that after this is over, for the foreseeable, we wont be able to spend any weekends together as he has to do some diy for his parents.

Am I being unreasonable wanting more? It's been nearly a year of this and the last few months of lockdown has shown me I cant be as much of a priority to him as he is to me as if I was, surely he would make time to text back/call back etc.

AIBU just expecting a bit more commitment? A bit more of his time/attention because I honestly dont know. Before this I have only been in one other relationship. DD's father which lasted 15 years.

Well done! I doubt it's the last you have heard from him, it will take wouldn't for him to find someone else to put up with his bullshit so I suspect he will try to keep his claws in you, but stay strong. Very weird that he thought a good way to prove his commitment was to let his parents listen in to the call. What a weirdo.

Honestly @pumpkinbump it was so strange, he said it, i went quiet and then i just heard his mum shout "hi!" It was so uncomfortable..
And your right, I have just had a delivery of flowers with a card that says "just a little something to brighten your day, I love you"
It just frustrates me because he has had a year to just try a bit harder, I didnt want all of his time, just some of it, I didn't expect him to be meeting my daughter and whisking me down the isle, but equally, I would have liked more than basically being his 'booty call' with a title, I would have liked him to make some level of effort to see me and it would have been nice to think that sometimes spending a bit of time with me, whether over the phone/video or in person was preferential to spending all his time with his parents!

I really wasnt a difficult girlfriend, not really.. I just wanted to be treated like a girlfriend

You are brilliant! So glad you have taken charge and are already reaping the benefits.

He thinks the flowers will get you running back, please don’t ring or text him. Even to say thanks.
Let him grovel

Just remember that he totally invalidated your feelings by asking if you were on.
He's a creep who just wants to keep giving you breadcrumbs. Dont go back. Ever.

And not opening a card even though you reminded him to, because he ‘hadn’t time’ is cruel. Unnecessarily cruel to treat someone he was supposedly in a relationship with.

He showed you who he was for eleven months. I wouldn’t try to make him grovel. That is just playing games and/or having false hope. A new relationship was bad for eleven months. Good fruits don’t grow from bad seeds.

Op
You are not in a relationship. I repeat. You are not in. A relationship.

Run away from this time waster. What are you still doing with this man.

Should have rtft

What a time waster, you are so much better off without him

Just to let you all know I'm doing well, had no contact and feel more alive and optimistic about the future than I have in so so long! Thank you to all you incredible people for helping me see I wasnt being unreasonable!

That's good to hear, glad you are doing well!

I think you should move on from him. You should absolutely expect more x

Glad to hear you're feeling optimistic about the future. You have so much to offer in a relationship, and you deserve sooooo much more.