Did affair partner look like/similar to you?

[Wer2Next]

As above. Just wondering what the reality of it is.

Some say its not about how the AP look but how they made the othet person feel.

Or is it purely about the physical aspect of the other person.

Yep. She's taller and generally bigger but facially quite similar. I also think we might have got on quite well if we'd met under other circumstances. Not really sure it was worth all the upheaval and broken family swapping very like for like but ex obvs thought so.

On the other hand, from what I knowcshes quite wishy washy and all over the place whereas I'm pretty together and capable. I know ex felt 'unmanly' because I didn't need him perhaps on the way she did / does

She did. Her face is slightly less pretty but she's taller and slimmer. And cleverer. So on the whole, an upgrade.

And he married her quickly, too. I half-wondered if a baby would appear, but it never did, so he wasn't 'forced' to marry her. He just chose to. They've been together (including married) for significantly less time than we were together.

Good to luck when he gets bored in a few years' time. It'll happen.

Looked very similar and same accent, but oddly enough, was like the pp described - v different to me in terms of career, independence. Lots of her messages were all about him being the wonderful provider and looking after her.

God no, she was very overweight. He said he shagged her because she was a means to an end.

Nothing alike except both taller than average. I’m slim and blonde, she’s larger build and brunette.

Yes, both in looks and personality from the time when we first met (she was 15 years younger than me and about the same age as I was when I met DH. It was like he'd wanted the me back from before the DC and many years of boring domesticity don't we fucking all mate.

Nope total opposites physically

No not at all. Would I be very pompous to say he downgraded....

She has cut her hair to the same style as mine now. She uses the same skin care range as I have for years, assume ex suggested it (I have good skin, she doesn't).

She now drives the same car as I have for quite some time.

I won't go on as I think I'm sounding like an awful person now. It's just very noticeable stuff.

I am much happier now btw so I don't really care about the above

@rainkeepsfallingdown tbh I would never be able to tell myself out loud that AP was an upgrade... I suppose for me that would really hurt.

Yes, except she is 12yrs younger than me.

My friends DH had an affair, lasting several weeks, years ago.

He said it was all about how the AP made him feel (manly, more than just a husband and father etc.) more than how AP looked, but she was facially very similar with same hairstyle and colour. Similar build and height, AP was a plainer version of my friend. He definitely had a type.

I'm ready to be flamed for this.

The man I had an affair with was nothing like my husband. Looks and personality were complete polar opposites.

A friend of mine is separated from her DH, and there is an OW. One day a woman who looked remarkably like my friend came to school and picked up her little boy. Next day, I asked her if it was her sister who had collected the boy, and she said no...that would have been the OW. I was really embarassed, but honestly, she was soooooo similar in looks.

It was an EA and we're still together, but the OW was taller, thinner, prettier, and 10 yrs younger than me, an excellent cook, a good organiser, had a high flying career before her dcs.
I, however, am much kinder, considerate and loving.

This is fascinating

OW was older, much less attractive, probably about three stone overweight
However she gave my ex something that he clearly didn't get from me
Once they'd finished he confided in me that the sex was fabulous but that he was embarrassed to be in public with her
Ah well

Yup. His Dad even thought she WAS me when he spotted them together. He even spoke to them and still didn't twig. Definitely has a type.

God no. She was twice the size of me with a kinda squashed face. She’s now at least four times the size of me (they’re no longer together....it lasted about 18 months) and he cheated on her too.

Very similar to met 16 years ago ( although she’s only ten years younger). I was a bit of a mess, minimum wage job etc, since then I’ve straightened up, gone to uni thru work and am a lot different. I guess he likes women who are at the I need rescuing/need help stage and not when they are a bit more independent.

My ex cheated on me and the OW was the exact opposite of me! She was tall, small breasts and a boyish figure whereas I'm 5ft5, large breasts with an hourglass figure. His best friend even made jokes to a mutual friends about him downgrading which made me feel so much better 🤣

Not me but friends.

His wife is small, busty and has very dark straight hair.

The OW (now wife) is tall, blonde and curly and small of bust.

Total opposites.

Similar face but built differently. Taller, fuller, different hair and eye colour, different skin tone and accent, but definitely a similar look. She has much shitter eyebrows though.

I was the OW and look similar yes. Both brunette and similar faces but I'm 10 years younger, different body shape and more attractive. But then he's still with her so it didn't really matter!

Oh my gosh! There's a dad at DC old school who's wife is lovely. She is very unique looking, a really distinct look. When I met the OW I could not believe how similar she looked to the wife!! It's not a 'usual' look, very very distinct. OW has now died her hair!! I think she must have twigged or someone must have said something!!!

He's an arse btw. Abusive physically (well, was to wife, assume he hasn't changed). Both women are lovely. Hopefully OW will see sense soon but she seems very vulnerable :(