Did affair partner look like/similar to you?

[Wer2Next]

As above. Just wondering what the reality of it is.

Some say its not about how the AP look but how they made the othet person feel.

Or is it purely about the physical aspect of the other person.

100% This:

I think it's important to remember also that many leave for ow because regardless of what she looks like, she's not the one asking him to do the shopping or put the bins out or 'stopping him' doing a hobby all weekend so he can do some parenting. She's the one he has restaurant meals with, hotel stays, thinks his hobby is cool and unfurtunstely, it stays that way because men like my ex choose EOW contact with their kids or less, so they get to live as a child free adult most of the time, having 80 odd % of their salary to spend all on themselves (assuming they even do pay cms minimum). It's not just the actual ow that's so attractive it's the freedom they perceive.

I was the OW 25 yrs ago. We looked the same, same coloured hair , built. Even the same name😂🙊

No affair partners here at all. But my DH had someone come in for an interview and he said he actually was lost for words as she looked exactly as I did when he first met me. Sounds awful but he couldn't give her the job as he said it would feel wrong. And to be honest it was probably better for our marriage that she didn't get the job. Luckily she wasn't suited to the job either otherwise

OW is 10 years younger, about a foot taller and very skinny, I'm only a size 8 and she's far skinnier than me. Looks quite skeletal. Facially very similar.

But like others have said she is junior to him career wise (he was her boss) and isn't very clever. She is childless and also doesn't have friends so wants to be with him all the time and needs his help to do anything.

I have a good career, which he always reaped and loved the benefits of, I pretty much did all the diy and everything else at home while he sat on the sofa and am the same age as him. I also have always worked full time and looked after the DC. To get him to do anything I had to ask.

I believe he needed someone who made him feel younger, cleverer and more superior. They are in a small rented flat so I'm not sure the real extent of his laziness will come out unless they buy a house where more needs to be done.

He tells people I am a mad, crazy woman and she refers to me as a psycho. He hasn't stopped moaning about how he has so much less money when he moved out and apparently has told the DC that now she has moved in he will be able to afford a house again.

I was the OW 25 yrs ago. We looked the same, same coloured hair , built. Even the same name

@bargainhuntbore I always wondered who watched bargain hunt and thanks to you now I know of at least two people

@Sugartitss God no, she was very overweight. He said he shagged her because she was a means to an end. Well he sounds like a charmer and you dodged a bullet there.

The OW in my marriage was 13 years younger than me and exdh, mixed race (we are both white british) and quite masculine in her face (not me being catty...several people said this to me!). I don't suppose he was really looking at her face much though at 13 years younger and never having had kids and what that generally does to your body.

I think again though, it was more that she flattered his ego and he felt needed. He knew I didn't need him as I have always been a capable, independent woman but I loved that man more than anything.

I think again though, it was more that she flattered his ego and he felt needed. He knew I didn't need him as I have always been a capable, independent woman but I loved that man more than anything.

Me too, I loved him unconditionally but evidently that wasn't enough.

It's amazing how much the being needed and ego flattering comes into play.

I was the OW. Other than hair colour there was no similarity at all between me and his partner. I’m 25 years younger, more outgoing, different build and appearance. Equally he was the opposite to my H - older, completely different personalities and appearances.

He was nothing like my usual type and I think the same was true for him.

No. I was skinny. She looked like she should of been on all 4s with a Apple in her mouth

My ex cheated with multiple women and they were ALL completely different from me. I was the steak, they were the pound saver menu hamburgers. He went for easy, cheap women who all knew about me and thought they could 'steal him away' as they wanted what I had (luxurious life, designer everything, sports car). He dropped them like hot cakes whenever I had a suspicion. He truly wanted to keep the facade of trophy wife at home (good looking, well educated, good cook etc) and have a plethora of women on the side. When I found out he told me "we don't DO divorce" and he expected me to just put up with it.

Gosh I sound like a knob here but it's true.
It was a struggle and took me a long time to actually get the proof and therefore strength to leave.

I am now married to a barista who spoils me with love because he can't afford much else . It's a fairytale ending lol

Some of these comments are . I understand that is maybe helps to vilify the OW, but the reality is that it comes across (perhaps wrongly) as jealousy. Life is shit, people make dreadful, hurtful decisions. It isn't a race to the bottom.

I wondered if affair partner looks like or opposite partner actually.
Interesting angle.

The weirdest thing when I saw my exHs Ow was the fact she actually, genuinely, facially was so similar looking TO HIM. People comment on it, to the point they must be related somewhere along the line.

No, I was petite with long blonde hair and she was a unit with a dark bob.
I was more subdued though whereas she is a mouth almighty .
This was an ex boyf by the way . Not my now dh

@ChipsyChopsy nah , she’s more of a go getter than me but I am a nicer person.
Not jealousy ,she’s just a dick and my ds always thought so too without any input from me

@Sunshineandflipflops same here - different ethnicity and very masculine face (strong jaw, large nose and eyes) but she made the most of what she’s got - skintight clothing at all times, huge amount of makeup and very “done” hair. Like yours, she flattered him. Her husband is actually far more attractive (& younger) than “d”h.

I don’t think so. Ex cheated on me with a girl by the same name but she was very different in looks. She was blonde, I’m dark, she was 5’3, I’m 5’8, she was a chunky straight up and down with little in the way of curves and I’m a slim hourglass with big boobs and bum.
Character wise tho, there were similarities. Both from farming backgrounds, both horsey, both big drinkers/partiers (at the time), both outgoing, and, most importantly I suppose, both besotted with him!
I think it came down to the fact she literally never looked at anyone else but him, and didn’t get much male attention anyway, and he was so breathtakingly paranoid and jealous that he was convinced every man who looked my way was a threat because I was a slag. He was vile.
She realised quick enough, thank goodness. I hated her for what she happily did to me, she felt she had a right to him as they’d known each other longer, but I would feel sorry for anyone in a relationship with that abusive prick.

My therapist asked me if the OW looked like me and I said no. He asked if she'd changed her hair to look like mine ... yes. She would come into the house and treat it like her own. I caught her flicking through a pile of paperwork in my office once. He said she wanted to be me. Well she is now - she'll be the one getting the abuse. Be careful what you wish for!

Sooo many bitchy weight comments. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, remember.

Yes. Same hair, facial features, build, background, level of intelligence.

She has disgusting taste in clothes, though.

Before I was married I went out with someone for 5 years. We split, my decision and about a year later he met someone new.

Even though we’d moved on and I was happily with my now dh, it was -really gratifying to me that his new gf was much less attractive than me! And it gave me pleasure when other people mentioned that to me. What is that all about?🤷‍♀️

Not really, although we’ve both got dark hair and are overweight. I’m definitely more intelligent, she’s 10 years younger.

What’s most weird is that she’s the spitting image of his sister.

With my ex boyfriend - she was a complete opposite.
But my skin itches even thinking about him and how I actually went out with him 🤢. Should've listen to people back then!

I agree there are some horrible weight comments. Weight has absolutely nothing to do with how attractive someone is to the opposite sex.

My ex husband’s wife is my polar opposite. She is very tall, short dark hair and very outgoing. She is not very uneducated and believes in conspiracy theories...