This is fucking sexist

[catflapuk]

So, I work in a fucking men's domain. I'm so angry.

We are a team of 3 people - one for Americas, me for Europe, one for APAC. Both my colleagues are male.

Another team is working on a global client project, including Americas, Europe and APAC (in this order) and requires our input. My team's names will be listed as the team of contributing experts.

The fucking lead of this team, who is also male, lists my male colleagues first and me last.

AIBU to be so fucking annoyed?

[elastamum]

This is sexism and needs to be challenged.
Every single time.
Keep doing it.

[BlackberryCane]

@dogsdinnerlady

Over use of expletives by either sex is boring, unimaginative and listeners ultimately tune out the whole message. A quick read through the (mostly) fatuous posts on here proves my point. Swearing all the time isn't clever and detracts from any serious point the speaker might be trying to make (if any).

You seem to be conflating yourself and 'listeners' there.

[BlingLoving]

This thread has been brilliant. And sad. This idea that we should not sweat the small stuff is a huge part of the problem. Because in this case, if OP is consistently subtly shown to be less instrumental in big projects, over time, the big projects will stop coming to her. She won't be up for the next one or the next promotion. This is a FACT of working in the corporate world.

it's the same reason why golf retreats and nights at strip clubs are intrinsically sexist and cause problems for women. Because in those environments, there's informal networking etc and women are excluded so they miss out.

@AnduinsGirl I had this too. In our case I came first both alphabetically and in order of age. I rang to ask about it (because I'm like that) and they tried to tell me that the names were in "random order". Yeah and I'm Jacob Rees-Mogg

These ones where they put Mr and Mrs don't irritate me quite as much, simply because it's not unconscious sexism. It's blatant acceptable sexist protocol. We say ,"Mr and Mrs" etc. Don't get me wrong, it would be good when this stuff changes, but it doesn't wind me up in quite the same way because if challenged, many people would be honest that they did it that way because "that's the way it's supposed to be done."

but don't get me started on how annoyed I get when my name gets changed by well meaning twats to Mrs DHName

[summerfruitssquash]

@LydiaDusbyn totally agree, it is a bit of a reach OP

[VerticalHorizon]

To preface your disgust you say "a fucking men's domain".

All hope was lost right there.

Pot and kettle.

[Mrsmorton]

Sad to see yet more women posting who've been assimilated. I live in hope that they will achieve independent thought at some point. This is why the grip of the patriarchy is so strong.

[EBearhug]

You can lose a whole career in biding your time.

The small stuff does count. I have taken to raising the small stuff - because a lot of the time, men have never been asked to think about the little things and the effects they have.

The bloke who apologised to me, the only woman at the table, every time he swore - I told him that his apologising made the swearing much more noticeable and made me feel other ed, when if he'd carried on anyway, I would probably have not really noticed. I don't need the smelling salts if I hear someone say fuck, but if he feels the need to apologise to one person at the table, he should either apologise to all or just not say it. My colleagues do now think, "what's she going to say about this?" and if that means it makes them think and change how they say something, then it's progress, even if they end up thinking I'm a humourless feminist. (Half of that’s right.) Most of these things are petty on their own, but they're cumulative.

[MsTSwift]

Having worked in a magic circle law firm and on the trading floor of a world famous investment bank I can safely say both were indeed “fucking men’s domain”. As are any workplaces where there is big money to be made or lots of power. You are naive if you think otherwise.

[BlackberryCane]

Yeah but talking about sexism makes you sexist yourself, apparently.

[RiftGibbon]

By no means the same but still examples of sexism:
I wrote to my local MP about something. I use a short form of my first name which is unisex. I don't use a title when writing to people. I received a response, "Dear Mr. Gibbon."

I worked in an office and helped a caller with a problem. He was very pleased and said he wanted to let my boss know, and could I give him my name. I told him.
Then he wanted to know if it was Miss or Mrs Gibbon.
I said I was the only Rift Gibbon at the company, my boss would know exactly who he meant.
He still wanted to know if it was Miss or Mrs
When I repeated myself he hung up saying "oh forget it"

[SciFiScream]

@mrsmorton that image is really stark. A white man gets his "professor" and a black woman doesn't.

Sexism and racism in one image.

Which show is it from?

[Mrsmorton]

BBCQT apparently. It's from a thread on twitter which is like this only without the women punching themselves in the face.

[SciFiScream]

Could you share the link to the thread on twitter please? Thanks.

[Mrsmorton]

twitter.com/darshnasoni/status/1268839615701692421?s=21

[ShinyFootball]

I saw the piece on question time, it was a couple of days ago or so.

I didn't notice the titles.

[ShinyFootball]

I suppose I wouldn't as I didn't know what hers were before.

[RiftGibbon]

I have a friend with a doctorate. Her husband has one too.
Correspondence is generally addressed to Dr & Mrs Smith.
She started using her former name on things. Correspondence was received for Dr & Mrs Jones.

[ShinyFootball]

Same with my parents.

[Queenoftheashes]

I remember my friend showing me when we were 9 or 10 a letter the school had given her to take home addressed to Dr and Mrs X and saying it was her mum with the PhD. It really stuck with me alongside all the sexist crap in my famous five books.